Today’s Truth 
“‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV).

Friend To Friend 
The most difficult times to continue believing the promises of God are during the storms of life when the waves of emotions are so great they threaten to tip your boat and spill you into an ocean of despair. 

I have been there, my friend.  And I do know it can be the most difficult time to believe the truth and the easiest time to believe the enemy’s lies.  Let me share one such storm in my own life.

When my husband, Steve, and I decided to have children, we conceived with no problem.  Steven Hugh Jaynes, Jr. was born with a shock of thick black hair and long Bambi-like eyelashes that had the nurses measuring for record breaking length.  I loved being a mother more than any role I had ever experienced.  Never in my life had I ever imagined so much love could be wrapped in such a small package.           

Steven was about two-years-old when we decided to expand our family once again. 

“Steven,” we explained, “We are praying that God will give Mommy and Daddy another Jaynes baby so you can have a little brother or sister.”

He thought that sounded like a good idea, so he ended our family prayer time each night with the benediction, “And God, please give Mommy and Daddy another Jaynes baby. Amen.”

After six months, there was no news of another Jaynes baby.  I was perplexed.  Then a year passed.  I was distraught.  Then two years passed.  I began sinking in a sea of fear and doubt.  All the while, Steven prayed each night, “And God, please give Mommy and Daddy another Jaynes baby.”

My husband and I began traveling down the frustrating road of doctor visits, infertility treatment and timed intimacy (which is anything but intimate).  Then I began worrying about how this “unanswered” prayer was going to affect Steven’s faith in God.

By age four, we still had no news for Steven.  Obviously, it was not the Lord’s plan for us to have another child at this time and I didn’t know how to tell Steven that we didn’t have to pray that prayer every night.  I kept hoping that he would just forget about it.  But he didn’t forget about it any more than he forgot the “Amen” at the end of a prayer.

So I began to pray, Lord please show me how to ease out of this predicament.  Show me how to tell Steven that we don’t need to pray for another baby every night.  I do not want this seemingly unanswered prayer to damage his faith.  We have a miniature table and chairs in the kitchen where Steven and I ate lunch together each day.  One day while sharing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Steven looked up, and in his sweet little voice said, “Mommy, have you ever thought that maybe God only wants you to have one child?”

 Shocked, I answered,  “Yes, I have thought that maybe that is the case and if it is, I am so thankful because He has given me all I ever hoped for in a child wrapped up in one package, YOU!”

Then he turned his little head like a robin and said, “Well, what I think we ought to do is keep praying until you’re too old to have one.  Then we’ll know that’s His answer!”

What a great idea.  I had been worried about Steven’s faith, but all the while, it was my own that was struggling.  I was having trouble believing that God loved me when He was withholding what I wanted most…a house full of children.  How could He love me and not give me the desire of my heart? I wondered.  Maybe He doesn’t love me after all.  A favorite song Steven used to sing when he was four-years-old had these words:

 ”My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty. There’s nothing my God cannot do.  The mountains are His. The valleys are His.  The stars are His handiwork too.  My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty.  There’s nothing my God cannot do.”

Steven didn’t know how old too old was, (Sarah in the Bible was 90), but he did know God.   He knew God could do anything.  If His answer was “no” he didn’t have a problem with that.  I told him “no” many times and he understood that “no” did not mean “I don’t love you.”  “No” just meant “no,” because I am your parent and I know what’s best for you.

The Lord taught me a great lesson through my four-year-old son.  I saw through his childlike faith, an example of the attitude of trust that I should have toward my Heavenly Father who loves me and knows what’s best for me.  And though the storm had subsided for just a while, a tidal wave hit a few years later.  Join me tomorrow for the rest of the story.

Let’s Pray 
Dear Heavenly Father who always knows what is best for me, today I give You my hopes and my dreams.  If the answer is “no,” I understand that You know what is best for me and honestly, I don’t have a clue.  Thank You for both Your provision and Your protection.  In Jesus’ Name, 
Amen

Now It’s Your Turn 
Can you think of a time when your earthly parents told you “no,” and you got upset?  Then later, you understood the wisdom of their guidance?

Can you think of a time when your Heavenly Father said “no” to a request?  Perhaps you didn’t understand it at the time, but later the reason became crystal clear.  Let me say it another way.  Can you think of a time when you later praised God for the “no” and saw it was His provision or His protection?

I think sharing these stories would be a huge encouragement to our sisters who are struggling with an unfulfilled dream right about now.  Let’s share our stories.  Visit www.sharonjaynes.com/facebook and encourage your sister-in-Christ.  Remembering will encourage your heart as well!

More From The Girlfriends 
As I mentioned at the beginning of today’s devotion, the most difficult times to continue believing the promises of God are during the storms of life when the waves of emotions are so great they threaten to tip your boat and spill you into an ocean of despair.  So where are you today?  Do you need a “faith lift?”  Today’s devotion came from Becoming Spiritually Beautiful.  It might be just the book you need to encourage you to keep believing!  Read an excerpt at www.sharonjaynes.com

Today’s Truth 
“Then God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you’” (Exodus 3:14 NIV).

Friend To Friend 
One day, I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone. Her four-year-old daughter, Hope, who was supposed to be taking a nap, came walking in the room.

“What are you doing out of bed, young lady,” Lysa asked.

“I’m having my quiet time,” she responded matter-of-factly.

Hope plopped down on the couch with her “Bible” – the Sears Catalog.

Unfortunately, many view God as someone up in heaven Who doles out the goodies and see prayer as a time to place an order. But He is so much more.

A.W. Tozer wrote, “Nothing twists and deforms the soul more than a low or unworthy conception of God.” Our concept of God, our understanding of who He is and what He does, is of crucial importance. Inaccurate and unbiblical thoughts about God can block His power in our lives. 

In the Old Testament, there are many names of God that describe His character: He is Elohim-the Creator, El Elyon-God Most High, El Roi- the God who sees, El Shaddai- the All-Sufficient One, Adonai- the Lord, Jehovah- the Self-Existent One, Jehovah-Jireh- the Lord will Provide, Jehovah-Rapha-the Lord who Heals.

When someone in the Old Testament had an encounter with God and learned something new about His character, that person often gave God a new name.  Likewise, when we encounter God in our everyday lives, we will learn new and exciting aspects of His character. However, our perception of God should never be based on our experiences alone. God has given us the Bible to reveal His nature. Through that revelation, God releases His power in our lives – power that renews our minds and in turn, affects our actions and emotions.

Of all the names of God mentioned in the Bible, the one that is the most powerful is I AM.  Moses asked God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ then what shall I tell them?”  

God answered, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you” (Exodus 3:13-14.)  That name is so powerful that when Jesus answered the questioning Roman soldiers who were coming to arrest Him with the same answer, they fell over backwards (John 18:5).  Whatever you need, dear friend, God is.

Oswald Chambers once said, “We act like pagans in a crisis – only one out of an entire crowd is daring enough to invest faith in the character of God.” How about you? Do you trust in the Great I AM today?

Let’s Pray 
Dear God, You are the great I AM, and because of who You are, everything is as it should be.  You always have been and You always will be. You had no predecessor and You’ll have no successor. There was nobody before You and there will be nobody after You.  You are indescribable, incomprehensible, invincible, and irresistible. You are The Great I Am.

In Jesus’ name, 
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn 
Can you think of anything you need today that God cannot provide?

Today, make a list of all the names of God you can think of.  I would love to hear them.  Let’s share our answers on my Facebook page. www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes  And while you’re there, make sure to sign up so you can visit with other Girlfriends in God.

Today’s’ Truth 
“I will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5 NKJV).

Friend To Friend 
She was among an eager group of four-year-old children crowded around my feet as I taught their Sunday school lesson. I was the teacher and they were the students – or at least that is how it started out. The pint-sized audience listened intently as I tried to create a mental image of Jesus and His disciples trapped in a thunderstorm on the Sea of Galilee.

“The winds bleeeeeeew and rocked the little boat back and forth, back and forth. The waves were soooooo big; they splashed over the wooden sides and got the men all wet. Then water started filling up the boat – and do you know what happens when a boat gets full of water?”

“It sinks,” they chimed together.

“That’s right.” I continued with a wrinkled brow and concerned look on my face.  “That’s not all. The lightening was sooooo bright; it looked like fire in the sky. And the claps of thunder were sooooo loud; they could feel them vibrate in their chests.” 

After painting this picture of impending doom and thinking I would have my “congregation” just a little worried about the fate of these men trapped in a storm, I asked the question.  “Now if you were in a tiny boat like this, caught in a terrible storm like this, would you be afraid?”

Then one precious little girl, confident and unshaken by the entire scenario, shrugged her shoulders and replied, “Not if Jesus was in the boat with me.”

I will never forget that answer. I have come to realize that this answer calms all our worries and fears. Just as the disciples had the storm raging all around them, many times the storms of life rage around us. A friend discovers she has cancer, a husband loses his job, and a child is born with birth defects. These are storms with waves of emotions so high that our lifeboat fills with tears and appears that it could sink at any moment.  Waves of fear rock our boat and threaten to spill us into despair without even a life jacket to keep us afloat. Storms cause us to doubt who we are, what we have, and where we are as a child of God. Waves of emotions rock our faith.

“Tell me, would you be afraid?”

“Not if Jesus was in the boat with me.”

And guess what.  He is.  God said, “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5 NKJV), and Jesus said, “Surely I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 26:20).  Although the pain may be great, we do not need to be afraid that the storms of life will destroy us, because Jesus is in the boat with us. His power can calm the seas and still the storms of life that threaten to pull us under. 

After the children filed out and scattered to Sunday lunches throughout the city, I sat in the room to digest the words of the real teacher that day.  It was childlike faith in its purest form.  The little girl believed God.

Let’s Pray 
Dear Heavenly Father, I will admit, sometimes I get so scared when the storms of life rock my boat.  Thank You that You are in the boat with me, that You will never leave me and that You are always right by my side.  That is what You promised.  That is what I know to be true.

In Jesus’ Name, 
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn 
Go back and read the story of Jesus calming the storm in Luke 8:19-25. How would you answer the disciples’ question in verse 25…”Who is this?  He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”

What life situations are rocking your boat today?

Do you have the sense that Jesus is in the boat with you?

What reassurance does that give you?

I would love to hear your answer!  Let’s chat at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes or www.sharonjaynes.com/blog

More From The Girlfriends 
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I just need a “faith lift.”  If that is where you find yourself today, let’s go to God’s spa together.  Join me on the journey of a lifetime in Becoming Spiritually Beautiful and discover the inner glow you have always longed for!

Today’s Truth 
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2 NIV).

Friend To Friend 
I see three emotions blocking women from being all God intends for them to be and from accomplishing all that God intends for them to accomplish – feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and inadequacy. I hear women make comments such as, I can’t do that.  I wish I were talented like Sarah.  If people really knew me, they wouldn’t like me.  I’m not very smart.  I feel like a failure.  I can’t do anything right.  I could never stand up in front of anyone and speak.  I believe the Bible works for her, but I don’t believe it would work for me.  I don’t fit in anywhere.  Nobody loves me. And friend, I admit I have heard similar comments come out of my own mouth!

Where do those feelings come from?  From the time we are born, we receive messages about ourselves. These messages are programmed into our minds. We may not realize our minds are being programmed, but it happens as surely as I’m typing these words on my computer.   Either we felt esteemed, encouraged, and embraced as a child or we felt unloved, uncared for, and worthless.  Messages were given both intentionally and unintentionally by family, friends, teachers and other significant people who made up our own little world.  They were programmed into our minds and formed a type of filter or grid system. Every thought we have, every piece of information we receive must pass through that filter before it is processed by our minds. Soon, a false filter distorts the truth.

For example, little Mari was told at an early age that she was stupid, ugly, and clumsy.  Her ears looked like wings; her teeth looked like a twenty-car-pileup, and her legs looked like a flamingo’s. In the fourth grade, she got coke bottle glasses and kids called her “four-eyes” on the playground when the teachers weren’t close enough to hear. One day in geography class, the room erupted with laughter when she incorrectly answered that Philadelphia was our nation’s capital.

Seven years later, as a high school junior, Mari’s head has grown to catch up with her ears, the orthodontist has done a stellar job of straightening her now perfectly aligned white teeth, and her blue contact lenses accentuated the aqua marine hue of her eyes. She is inducted into the National Honor Society and scores 1420 on her SAT.  Yet, when Mari walks into a room full of people, she feels like that awkward fourth grader with the big ears, skinny legs, and thick glasses who was laughed at in geography class.  Even though she is a beautiful, intelligent young lady, that negative self-degrading filter is still in place, and deception is the glue that holds it there. She does not see herself for who she really is.

Now let’s pretend that Mari goes to a church retreat and hears the good news of Jesus Christ for the first time. Let’s say she makes a profession of faith, accepts Jesus as her Savior and begins the journey of making Him Lord of every aspect of her life.  What happens to the negative filter covering her mind?  Does it immediately disappear when she becomes a Christian?  No, it does not.  As a matter-of-fact, she probably doesn’t even know it is there.  Even though Mari is a child of God, holy and dearly loved, unless she removes the negative filter by renewing her mind, she will most likely continue feeling inferior, insecure and inadequate.  Only now, she may heap guilt on top of it for not feeling more victorious and peaceful in her new Christian faith. 

When Mari became a Christian, she received a new spirit and a new identity. She just didn’t know it.  It reminds me of a story I heard about two boys arguing if a chicken running around the barnyard with his head cut off was dead or alive.  While they were watching this strange phenomenon, an old wise farmer walked up.

“Sir,” the boys asked.  “Is that headless chicken running around dead or alive?”

The old farmer scratched his chin and pondered the situation.  Finally, he spoke, “Well, best I figure, that chicken is dead, but he just don’t know it yet.”

That pretty much describes many Christians.  It described me for about fifteen years of my life after I became a born-again Christian. My old self was dead, but I just didn’t know it yet. I had the spirit of Jesus Christ living in and through me; I just didn’t know it yet. I was a saint, the salt of the earth, holy and dearly loved; I just didn’t know it yet. But when I finally understood who I am in Christ, what I have in Christ, and where I am in Christ, those feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and inadequacy began to fade away.

How about you?  Do you know who you are?

Let’s Pray 
Dear Heavenly Father, help me to renew my mind with the truth of my new identity.  Help me see the areas when I have been filtering life through the lies of the past.  As I read Your Word, please use it to renew my mind with the truth.

In Jesus’ Name, 
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn 
Think of a time in your childhood that shaped how you see yourself today. 

Is it the truth of who you really are or are you allowing the enemy to hold up a false mirror, distorting who God says you really are?

Look up 2 Corinthians 5:17.  Write it down.  What does that mean to you?

I’d love to hear your answers on question #2.  Let’s chat.  www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes or www.sharonjaynes.com/blog.

More From The Girlfriends 
We will never be truly beautiful as long as the dark cloud of past wrong thinking blocks the radiance within. If you would like to learn more about who you truly are and how to renew your mind with God’s truth, see Sharon’s book, Becoming Spiritually Beautiful: Seeing yourself through God’s Eyes.  

Today’s Truth 
“I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago” (Psalm 77:11 NIV).

Friend To Friend 
Sometimes it is easy to read about Adam and Eve’s failure in the garden and wonder how they could have been so disobedient.  But in reality, this is not Adam and Eve’s story alone.  It is our story as well.  We make decisions daily that dishonor God or honor God.  We disobey, take charge of our own lives, and become Lord of our own ring.  Then like Eve, we try to cover up our shame and even attempt to hide from God.

Do you know the first question God asked in the Bible? After Adam and Eve cowered in the bushes, hiding from God, He asked – Where are you?  God knew exactly where they were, what they had done, and how the enemy had tricked them.  However, He decided to remain in relationship with them and begin the process of restoration which was completed on Calvary’s cross.  He asks us the same question today when we attempt to hide … Where are you?

I think “but God” are two of most beautiful words in Scripture.  The Bible says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).  When did we become sinners?  The first time we sinned?  No, we were born sinners and that sin is what separated us from God.  While we were yet sinners, He became the perfect sacrifice for us, not to cover our sin, but to cleanse us forever – once and for all.  Salvation Army Officer, John Allen once said, “I deserved to be damned in hell, but God interfered.” God interfered, intervened, and intercepted our death sentence. He sent His Son, who paid the penalty for our sin and all we have to do to receive the pardon is to accept His wonderful gift.

How do we receive the gift? “If you confess with your mouth ‘Jesus as Lord’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).  When you accept Jesus Christ as your own personal Savior, you are freed from the penalty of sin (spiritual death and eternal separation from God) and He gives you a new living spirit. Someone once said, “Salvation is moving from living death to deathless life.”

“All this is from God who reconciled us [joined us back together] to himself through Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:18 AMP).  Once there was a Christian group who sang a song with a line that said, “There’s a bridge to cross the great divide.” However, when they were recording, someone sang, “There’s a cross to bridge the great divide.”  Suddenly, they realized that they had not made a mistake at all.  We were separated from God because of sin, but He sent His Son to die on Calvary’s cross to bridge the great divide. 

Why did God do this for us? “For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16 NIV). The Greeks had three words for life: bios (life of the body), psyche (life of the soul), and zoe (life of the spirit).  Guess which word for life is in John 3:16?  Zoe – life of the spirit!  When you become a Christian, your spirit is reborn and you become a brand new creation. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV).  We were crucified with Christ and now we no longer live, but Christ lives in us (Galatians 5:20 NIV).

What about those glaring needs that cropped up as a result of Adam and Eve’s sin in the garden? What about feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and inadequacy that so many struggle with today?  Here’s what the Bible says: “So then as through one transgression there resulted condemnation to all men, even so, through one act of righteousness, there resulted justification of life to all men” (Romans 5:18, 19 NASB). All were condemned because of Adam’s disobedience and all who accept Jesus are freed because of Christ’s obedience.  At the moment of your salvation, everything mankind lost when Adam and Eve sinned in the garden was returned to you in Jesus Christ. Once again you have:

     Significance because of who you are in Christ. 

     Safety and security because of what you have in Christ. 

     A sense of belonging because of where you are in Christ.

Your glaring needs have been fulfilled and transformed into your glowing attributes.  The question is, why don’t we act like our needs have been fulfilled?  Why do we continue to struggle with feelings of shame, fear, loneliness, and rejection?  Why do we continue to try to get our needs met by our own means? Because even though our spirits are changed in an instant, our minds must be renewed, our wills must come under the control of the Holy Spirit, and our emotions must be reprogrammed.

It’s a process and that’s why Girlfriends in God even exists. We are learning, growing, and reprogramming our minds together.  And as we do, we grow more and more spiritually beautiful every day.

Let’s Pray 
Dear LORD, all through the Old Testament, the patriarchs told the Israelites to “remember.”  Today I stop and remember all that You have done for me.  I remember what I was like before I came to Christ and I remember all that You have done to bring me to Yourself.  Thank you, Father.  Thank You, Jesus.  Thank You, Holy Spirit. May the remembrance of Your mercies be new every morning.

In Jesus’ Name, 
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn 
Sometimes, when you have been a Christian for many years, you forget just how amazing the gift of salvation really is. Today, I’m not going to ask you any questions, but I do want you to go back and reflect on the verses in this devotion.  Write out your own prayer of gratitude for all that God has done to bridge the great divide that separated you from Him.

As always, I love to hear from my Girlfriends in God. You can visit my blog (www.sharonjaynes.com/blog ) or Facebook (www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes.com ) to share your comments.

Have you ever felt this way: “If I’m a new creation, then why don’t I feel like one and why don’t I act like one?” If so, then perhaps you need to read. Becoming Spiritually Beautiful – Seeing Yourself Through God’s Eyes  by Sharon Jaynes. (This book was previously titled Experience the Ultimate Makeover.)  In this book you’ll discover the secrets to spiritual beauty and to becoming a radiant Christian woman. It also comes with a Bible Study guide for those who want to spend extra time at God’s spa!

Today’s Truth 
“Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly”  (Ephesians 5:33 AMP).

Friend To Friend 
I’ve been shut up, shut down, shot down, ridiculed, disregarded, over looked, over- booked, and overwhelmed…I know I was made for a reason.  I know that, in God’s eyes, I count.  So, I simply want to find someone who believes in me.

No, these are not the lyrics from the latest country song.  They are the lament from one of the men who answered my surveys of what they were looking for in the woman of their dreams. It seems Aretha Franklin isn’t the only one who wants a little r-e-s-p-e-c-t these days.  One area that rated very high when I surveyed hundreds of men was their longing for RESPECT.  Webster defines respect as the special esteem or consideration in which one holds another person or thing, the state or quality of being esteemed, to feel or show consideration to. It’s the one thing a happy husband can’t do without.

 In the Bible, Paul wrote to both men and women about their various roles in marriage.  In the book of Ephesians he wrote, “Each one of you (men) also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).    Now, that doesn’t mean that husbands don’t have to respect their wives or wives don’t have to love their husbands. I believe Paul was summing up what was paramount for both men and women.  We want to be loved and cherished just like our husbands want to be honored and respected.

Another reason I believe that Paul admonishes wives to respect their husbands is because he knew that after years of mistakes, poor choices, wrong decisions,  and smelly socks, respect may not come naturally for a wife.  It may well take an act of the will empowered by the Holy Spirit within.

But how do you respect someone who vegetates watching TV all the time?  How do you respect someone who sits around waiting for the right job to come along when you’re working yourself to death trying to keep food on the table? (You may need to stop and quietly put that responsibility back where it belongs.) How do you respect someone who apparently has no respect for himself?  It may seem impossible, but as the angel asked Abraham, “Is anything too hard for the LORD?” (Genesis 18:14).  The same God who parted the sea for the Israelites to walk across on dry land, who caused the walls of Jericho to fall with a shout, who kept Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from even a hint of smoke as they exited the fiery furnace, who caused flesh to reappear on the rotted hands of lepers, who made a man blind from birth see, and who raised Lazarus from the dead – that same God can give you the power to respect your husband.  It all begins with prayer and follows with obedience close behind. “There is incomparable great power available to those who believe” (Ephesians 1:19).

In the Bible power always follows obedience.  As soon as the high priests crossing the Jordan placed their feet in the water, the river parted (Joshua 3:15).  As soon as the rotting lepers turned toward Jerusalem to tell the priests they were healed, their skin began to heal (Luke 17:14).  As soon as Namaan dipped into the river seven times as the prophet Elijah had commanded, his leprosy began to disappear (2 Kings 5:14).  The miracle didn’t come before they obeyed, but after they obeyed. Do you want to see a miracle unfold before your eyes like a multi-petaled rose unfurling?  Obey God.  An amazing thing happens when we begin to show respect to our husbands.  They begin to act respectable.

Let’s go back to Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. I love how the amplified version expounds on Ephesians 5:33.  “Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.”  What a power-packed verse!

Friend and fellow author, Carol Ladd, said, “Respect is wrapped up in the beautiful paper of kind and gentle words and tied with the enormous ribbons of a loving spirit.”  It is one of the most beautiful gifts a wife can give.

Let’s Pray 
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for my husband.  Help me, in all areas of my life, to be the wife that he needs.  Help me to respect, revere, regard, honor, prefer and esteem him greatly.  Not only that, but help me to show it in my words and actions so that there is no doubt in his mind just how much I love him.

In Jesus’ Name, 
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn 
During the reign of King David, he brought the once-captured Ark of the Covenant back to Israel.  It was one of the grandest moments in his life.  Read the account recorded in 2 Samuel 6 and answer the following questions:

How did David’s wife, Michal, react to his outward demonstration of praise to God (6:16-20)?

What was David’s response to her? (6:21)

What was the outcome of her disrespect? (6:23)

What can we learn from her lack of respect?

I’d like to hear your thoughts.  I know this is a highly charged topic among women.  Log on to my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes or my blog at www.sharonjaynes.com/blog and tell me your thoughts.

More From The Girlfriends 
February is the month of love and a wonderful time to contemplate our marriages.  Do you want to become the woman of your husband’s dreams?  The woman who makes him sorry to leave in the morning and eager to come home at night?  Then you’ll want to read Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes for an insightful look at the wonderful, unique, and God-ordained role only you have in your husband’s life.

Today’s Truth 
“The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.’” Genesis 2:18 NIV

Friend To Friend 
For thirteen years, our family was blessed with a Golden Retriever named Ginger. We gave her to our son, Steven, for Christmas when he was five-years-old and she still holds the blue ribbon as the best present ever. I can still remember the look of surprise on Steven’s cherub face when the “stuffed” animal began to move.  “It’s a puppy!” he exclaimed. “It’s not a toy!” And while Ginger was officially Steven’s dog, and I was unofficially her primary caretaker, it was my husband who held a special place in her heart.  From the very beginning, Ginger loved my husband the best.

 Ginger lollygagged her days away by sleeping in the driveway or lounging by the back stoop steps.  However, when my husband’s car entered the neighborhood and turned the corner onto our shady Stratfordshire Drive, Ginger’s ears perked up and her eyes began to beam.  Suddenly infused with a burst of anticipatory energy, she would jump to her feet and run in circles.  ”He’s home!  He’s home!” she seemed to say.

When Steve pulled into the garage and opened his car door, Ginger whined, ran to greet him and rested her head on his left leg while he cooed and rubbed her ears.  Steve’s homecoming was the highlight of her day.

No wonder dog is called “man’s best friend.”  Ginger was loyal, didn’t nag, and loved Steve no matter how much or how little attention he paid to her on any given day.  She was very forgiving and almost immediately forgot any injustice such as withholding her dinner when we ate in her presence or being left behind when we traveled on vacation.  Often at the mere sight of Steve, Ginger rolled over on her back and beckoned him to rub her tummy.  She always responded to his touch like it was heaven on earth. What man wouldn’t love such a response from “his girl?”

And yet, when God created Adam and placed him the garden, only to determine that “It is not good for man to be alone,” He did not create a dog to be his loyal companion.  God created a woman to fill the void in his life.  She was called an ezer in the Hebrew – the original language of the Old Testament. Most Bible translations render the word ezer as “helper,” however, the word is packed with so much more meaning than a mere helper. 

Author, Carolyn Custis James reveals the following: Ezer appears twenty-one times in the Old Testament.  Twice in Genesis it describes the woman (Genesis 2:18, 20).  But the majority of references (sixteen to be exact) refer to God, or Yahweh, as the helper of his people.  The remaining three references appear in the books of the prophets, who use it to refer to military aid.  If language means anything, then ezer, in every case, is not a flunky or junior assistant but a very strong helper.

We would be very remiss if we looked at the word ezer or helper in only domestic terms.  Adam didn’t need someone to cook for him, clean up after him, or care for him.  That was not the problem.  The void in Adam’s life was that he did not have a companion to work with him, rule the earth with him, love with him, procreate with him and after the fall – struggle with him.  A dog might have been an easier adjustment for Adam, but God decided Adam needed someone with words.

As an ezer or a strong helper, how will we use our words?  Will we use them to fortify or flatten, defend or defeat, complete or compete?  The choice begins in our minds, runs through our hearts, and responds with our lips.  And one of the best ways we can use our words is in prayer.

Let’s Pray 
Dear LORD, I so want to be a good ezer – a good companion that is my husband’s completer.  I want to be a help and not a hindrance.  Help me to use my words in such a way that help him to be all that You have created him to be as we work together in life.  In Jesus’ Name,

Amen

Now It’s Your Turn 
What do you think of when you think of the word “helper?”

Why do you think Adam needed a helper?

How have you been an ezer to your husband over the past week? (Not geezer, mind you.  But ezer.)

You might want to ask him some ways that you could help him in the coming days?

What are some ways that you can be your husband’s helper?  Visit my Facebook page and let’s chat!  www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes

More From The Girlfriends 
Do you want to become the woman of your husband’s dreams? Would you like a little “wow” back in your relationship with the man you married?  Then let seven simple secrets from Sharon’s book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, transform your marriage.  With Biblical wisdom and responses from hundreds of men she surveyed, you’ll get a glimpse into your husband’s deepest longings.

Today’s Truth 
James 5:16 (TNIV) “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

Friend To Friend 
There are some verses in the Bible that I wish God had just left out.  Here are a few:   

• “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping” (Proverbs 19:13). 
• “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand” (Proverbs 27:15, 16). 
• “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife” (Proverbs 21:19). 
• “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife” (Proverbs 25:24).  

OK, that’s about all I can take right now.  When I wrote the book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, I surveyed and interviewed men about what they longed for in a wife.  One thing that men repeatedly mentioned was their aversion to nagging.  Drip, drip, drip. Webster defines nagging as to scold or find fault with repeatedly, to cause annoyance by scolding or repetition.  Interestingly, a nag is also an inferior or aged horse.  The best remedy to cure ourselves from being a nagging wife is to become a praying wife.  Jesus invites us to stop nagging our husbands and begin nagging God!

Here’s what Jesus had to say: 

Then he said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, `Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.’ 

“Then the one inside answers, `Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man’s boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs. 

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened” (Luke 11:5-9).

In the Greek, the original language of the New Testament, the words ask, seek, and knock are present participle verbs.  That means that the more accurate translation would read, ask and keep on asking, seek and keep on seeking, knock and keep on knocking.  God invites us to be persistent in our prayers for our husbands.  We can give our worries and cares to God and leave it up to Him to do the rest. “Cast all your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you” (Psalms 55:22).  “Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).  Remember, you don’t want to be your husband’s mother…you want to be the wife of his dreams. 

Let’s Pray 
Dear Lord, I confess that sometimes I nag my husband … alright, maybe more than sometimes.  But Lord, I am determining in my heart to stop nagging my husband and start being consistent and persistent in prayer.  My husband is Your workmanship, not mine.  Forgive me when I try to yank the paint brush from Your hand and create brushstrokes of my own.  I pray that I can be the woman that he needs in order for him to become the man that You desire.

In Jesus’ Name, 
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn 
What do you think a nag sounds like?

Do you ever nag your husband? I know that is a silly question, but answer it any way.  Confession is good for the soul J

If there are things that you tend to nag your husband about, try this.  Write them down on a piece of paper, turn the list over to God, and then turn off the leaky faucet.  Give it a try.  You might be surprised!

I’d love to hear how God has used prayer in your marriage.  Visit my Facebook page and let’s chat.  While you’re there sign up! www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes

More From The Girlfriends 
Nagging just seems to come natural for most of us girls.  But God calls us to live super-naturally.  For more on how to be the woman of your man’s dreams, you’ll want your own copy of Sharon’s book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For. Visit her website to read an excerpt.

Today’s Truth 
“Jesus said to the servants, ‘Fill the jars with water’; so they filled them to the brim” (John 2:7 NIV).

Friend To Friend 
Shortly after Jesus was baptized, he attended a wedding reception in the town of Cana, in Galilee.  Apparently Jesus felt very comfortable at such a party, and I imagine Him laughing, mingling, and having a good time with His friends.  On the third day of the festivities, Mary, Jesus’ mother, noticed that they were running out of wine. For a host to run out of wine at a Jewish wedding celebration was an embarrassment and disgrace. Leave it to a woman to notice the party details.  Leave it to a woman to know where to go for help.

Mary turned to her son and said, “They have no more wine,” (John 2:3 NIV) as if she expected Him to do something about it.  I can almost see her raised eyebrow and the mischievous twinkle in her eye.

Jesus said, “Dear woman, why do you involve me? My time has not yet come” (John 2:4).

Mary turned to the servants and said, “Do whatever He tells you.”  Mary seemed to understand Jesus’ power before anyone else.

Jesus told the servants to fill six large thirty gallon stone pots with water. So they filled them “to the brim.”  Then He told them to draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.

One of the servants dipped his ladle into the jar and poured rich aromatic red wine into a goblet.  I imagine he couldn’t keep his eyes off of the miracle he held in his hands.  Reverently the servant passed the cup to the master of ceremonies.

The master then called out to the bridegroom and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

I often wonder what would have happened if the servants had filled the pots half full or three fourths full.  I imagine Jesus would have transformed exactly what they put in.  Likewise, God will transform just as much of our lives as we give Him.  As for me, I want to “fill it to the brim,” give Him all of my life – every bit of it.  It is the same with my marriage.  I want to give Jesus all of my marriage…to the brim.  So in our winter years, my husband and I will agree…we have saved the best till now.

Let’s Pray 
Dear Lord, I pray that I will be like the servants who did exactly what you told them to do.  My desire is to obey you fully…to the brim.  Help me not to hold back anything but give You all of me so that you can transform me totally.

In Jesus’ Name, 
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn 
How much of your marriage do you want Jesus to transform?  How much of your marriage have you given Him?

How much of your attitude do you want Jesus to transform?  How much of your attitude have you given Him?

How much of your __________ do you want Jesus to transform? (You fill in the blank.)  How much have you given Him?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please visit my blog at www.sharonjaynes.com/blog or facebook page at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes to share your comments.

More From The Girlfriends 
Today’s devotion was taken from Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For.  If there is one area of our lives that we need to give totally to Christ, it is our marriage.  Perhaps that’s why Jesus’ first miracle was at a wedding.  To learn more about how to have an incredible marriage, visit www.sharonjaynes.com and follow the links to read an excerpt or watch a video of Sharon’s book.

 Today’s Truth 
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12 NIV).

Friend To Friend 
Of all the roles and responsibilities that God has given wives, the position of a prayer warrior or intercessor is perhaps the greatest of all.  An intercessor is a person who intervenes or prays for another person. It was derived from the Greek word, enteuxis, which means to go before a King with a petition or plea on behalf of someone else.  In essence, it means the same thing today.  We go before the King of Kings with a petition or plea on someone’s behalf. What we accomplish on our knees in the invisible realm will ultimately affect the strength of our marriage in the visible realm.  There is no other person who is more called or more qualified to pray for your man than you.

In the Bible, God describes the marriage of a man and a woman as a visual example of the spiritual union between Jesus Christ and the church (all Christians).  Believers are called “the bride of Christ” (Revelation 19:7).  We are walking, talking, earthly examples of the heavenly relationship between God’s Son and those who believe on His name.  God instructs men, “Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

There is someone who wants to destroy that living example, and his name is Satan. Jesus said, “The thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill, and destroy” (John 10:10). He desires to destroy the God-ordained and designed institution of marriage.  He began with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and continues his destructive tactics even today.  Satan is not very creative, but he’s very effective, and he uses the same temptations and tactics today that he used in the first marriage on earth. Satan has proclaimed an all out assault on the family and he begins at the top – with the husband and wife.

So many times we fail to see the real enemy in our marital struggles.  The writer of Ephesians explains, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12).  When I am having a conflict with my husband, I need to stop, take a deep breath, and think…who is the real enemy here? There is a spiritual battle raging all around us that we can’t even see, but is very real.  It is the greater reality.  It is a battle that is not to be feared, but one that is to be recognized and fought in the only place where it can be won – in prayer.

Let’s Pray: 
Dear Lord, I pray for my husband, from head to toe. 

• His Head -That he will look to You as Lord of his life. (1 Corinthians 11:13) 
• His Mind ­­- That he will have the mind of Christ and think as the Holy Spirit would lead him and not the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2:16) 
• His Eyes -That You will keep his eyes from temptation and that he will turn his eyes from sin. (Matthew 6:13, Mark 9:47) 
• His Ears – That he will hear Your still small voice instructing him. (1 Kings 19:12, Psalm 32:8) 
• His Mouth – That his words will be pleasing to You. (Proverbs 19:14) 
• His Neck -That he will humble himself before You and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your Word so that he will be prosperous and successful. (James 4:10, Joshua 1:8-9) 
• His Heart-That he will love and trust You with his whole heart. (Deuteronomy 6:5, Proverbs 3:5) 
• His Arms-That You will be his strength. (Psalm 73:26)  
• His Hands-That he will enjoy the work of his hands and see it as a gift from You. (Ecclesiastes 3:13, 5:19) 
• His feet – That You will order his steps and that he will walk in Your truth. (Proverbs 4:25, Psalm 26:3)

Now It’s Your Turn 

Consider asking your husband for some specific ways that you can pray for him today.

Look up each of the Scripture references above and make the prayer for your husband specific to his particular needs.

Find one friend with whom you can pray for your marriage.  Commit to pray for each other’s marriage on a regular basis.

I’d love to hear how you pray for your husband.  Please visit my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes and share how you pray for your husband.

More From The Girlfriends 
Praying for your husband is one of your most important roles as a wife.  If you would like a more comprehensive list of Scriptural prayers to pray for your husband (over 100), you can find them in Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes.  Also, Sharon has the prayer above laminated on a prayer card that can be tucked in your Bible for easy reference.  Just log onto http://www.sharonjaynes.com/ and click on books and audio.