Where is God When Women Feel Forgotten

Yesterday I blogged over at Ann Voskamp’s A Holy Experience. I thought you might enjoy the post. I hope you feel as loved as you are.

She was beautiful.

She was bright.

And she was mad at God.

I sat across the table picking at a salad and trying to digest Jan’s words. Her startlingly teal eyes were tinted with frustration at God, primarily because of how she perceived He felt about women.

“I don’t understand God. It seems like He is against women. He’s set us up to fail. Even our bodies are weaker, and that just invites men to abuse us.”

“Today, there’s so much abuse toward women,” she continued.

“Where’s God in all that? There are so many inequalities and injustices between how men are treated and how women are treated. What kind of God does that?

I think the bottom line is that God just doesn’t like women.”

Jan knew her Bible. She grew up in the church, had loving Christian parents, and accepted Christ when she was eight-years-old.

But Jan was brave…brave enough to voice the questions that many women ponder…musings that many of our daughters fear.

So we opened the Bible and delved in. But before we did, I set the stage.

I reminded Jan of what the culture was like for women when Jesus walked the earth. Not so different than it is for our many of our sisters all around the world.

By the time Jesus entered the world on that starry night in Bethlehem, His first cry echoed the heart-cries of women who had been misused and abused for centuries.

By the time Jesus took his first steps onto the dusty ground of Galilee, women

  • Were not allowed to speak to men in public.
  • Were seen as unreliable and not allowed to testify in court.
  • Were not allowed to mingle with or eat with men at social gatherings.
  • Were not allowed to sit under a Rabbi’s teaching to learn.
  • Were kept on a separate level in Solomon’s Temple and behind a partition in the local synagogues.
  •  Were not counted as people, but were considered as property.


With no rights.

Women lived in the shadows of society…rarely seen and seldom heard.

But Jesus came to change all that. Simply put, He rocked the house.

Every time Jesus interacted with a woman in the gospels—the God-made-man broke the man-made-rules of His culture to honor women, to elevate women, to call them out of the shadows to play leading roles in the gospel story.


Jesus restored women and their rightful place of dignity as one-half of a whole, as co-heirs and co-workers with their male counterparts.

His radical counter-cultural attitude toward women flew in the face of a culture that considered women “less than” in all regards. Jesus was a radical reformer who showed the world just what God thinks about women.

  • He ignored cultural taboos and associated freely and openly with women. He spoke with women in broad daylight, even though the disciples disapproved.
  • Jesus welcomed the worshipful anointing of the woman with the sinful past, even though the religious leader thought it scandalous.
  • Jesus called the woman with the crippled back forward into the men’s area of the temple, even though the synagogue ruler thought it inappropriate.
  • Rabi Jesus welcomed Mary of Bethany to sit as His feet to learn, even though women were forbidden to do so.
  • Jesus reveled His true identity for the first time, that He was the Messiah, to a woman.
  • Jesus’ longest recorded conversation was with a woman.
  • Jesus entrusted the most important message in all of human history—that He had risen from the dead—to a woman. And then He told her to “go and tell.”

Jesus noticed the unnoticeable silent sufferers who moved about as little gray shadows…and He still does.

When it came to women…Jesus risked His reputation to save theirs.

To save yours.

To save mine

And in one sweeping gloriously wrenching moment, He called women center stage to play leading roles in the gospel story…and He still does.

From Mary of Nazareth to Mary of Magdalena, God used women to accomplish His divine purposes. Brave women stepped forward.

Courageous women spoke up. Committed women joined hands.

Not only did He accept them as they were, He challenged them to become more.

Jesus took the fearful and forgotten and transformed them into the faithful and forever remembered. “I tell you the truth,” He said, “wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

Jan and I closed The Book.

We took a deep breath.

It was all right there in black and white and some in red.

Grace upon Grace. Heaped high.

We both felt loved.


Worth fighting for.


HowJesusBrokeTheRulesCover small-200x300Click here to watch book trailer.

4 Responses to Where is God When Women Feel Forgotten

  1. Flowers November 12, 2015 at 10:23 am #

    Thank you for this. It is wonderful BUT what have I done wrong because the last line has NOT been true for me. This helped me identify THAT is where I’m stuck. I grew up in the church but with a physically abusive father (only to his daughters) and an emotionally immature mother. I was married to a horrible combination of the two for 20 years. After supporting him through getting his bachelors degree, then seminary and after multiple affairs he filed for divorce and moved in with a woman. Somehow during the divorce he managed to get the police records of his assualts on me expunged (I’ve been told that can’t happen); the house which was under my VA certificate got foreclosed; the vehicle I used to transport our four children to school was repossessed; he somehow managed to deny me any spousal support or portion of military retirement; and so many other injustices. All that to say, I sought the Lord throughout the marriage and never felt released to leave but when he told me he filed for divorce I heard the Lord say “let the unbeliever (even though he was a pastor) leave”. I trusted the Lord would fight for me BUT I lost every single “battle” he engaged me in even losing custody of one child he had not had contact with for two years. He has gone on to making six figures; remarried and built a $400,000 house; meanwhile I may be evicted soon because I can’t afford my $800 rent even though I work 6 days a week (commission only). Yes I am angry even to the point of some bitterness but after so many years of being faithful (perfect…NO) to my vows and walk with Christ, I don’t know how to reconcile what seems to me to be complete betrayal by not only an ex husband but even worse my Lord and my God. Why would he bring me into this world only to be abused from birth (a whole other story!) up to this point in my life?!? I loved Jesus as a small child and acknowledged Him as Lord as a very young adult. Admittedly He has walked with me through all this or I would not have survived but it often seemed like He stood by and watched while horrible things happened to me. How do I make any sense of that? Sorry for the novel and I do welcome any response especially truth in love. Thanks

    • Blessed December 2, 2015 at 12:47 pm #

      Yes, It sounds like me story too….I was angry at God and I ran…How dare he? I had served him all my life, I was the model mother and wife, Christian lady everyone adores despite all my childhood trauma, wham! divorce, no income, lost kids, lost everything! But one day I head HIS voice loud and clear as I drove to work. I had asked Him the same question Why did you do this to me? I don’t get it, I don’t want it and also Lord please give it back!!! On this day HE said to me in an audible voice that filled the inside of my car “I didn’t do this to you, I did it FOR YOU, I took you out of an abusive marriage because I DO see and I care. I took you out for bigger and better things. I have a bigger plan in life for you.”
      As soon as I realized what that meant, everything made sense. He has been with me since birth, He has seen everything I have gone through, all the misery and pain and he has spared me from worse things than what I had to endure. HE HAS BEEN FAITHFUL!
      Now, every time bitterness shows up, I begin to thank Him for all the good things HE has done including taking me out of that bad relationship. He makes beautiful things out of our ashes.
      I am now a married to a Pastor and we serve in a thriving church. My life is not perfect but it will never be, not on this earth. My story has helped many women and I now lead an amazing women’s ministry. None of that would have ever happened if I had not chosen to change my sadness for joy and dancing.
      I encourage you to do the same. Don’t listen to the enemy’s lies. Start thanking God for what you have and don’t look back at your past. Look at your future, God can use your story to encourage others and build His kingdom big time! I wish I could give you a hug. Love you!

  2. Diane November 18, 2015 at 6:33 pm #

    I know that this isn’t an answer, but don’t give up. I have a similar story growing up, verbally abusive alcoholic parents, not one, but two! Physically and emotionally abusive brother, marriage where I lost 3 children and was cheated on, but somehow I managed to move on, remarry and have 2 children. I never hated God or thought he forgot me. I just always thought he had better or more important things to handle because I seemed to be handling things. It wasn’t until recently, age 60, that I realized He was the reason I handled things. He was there showing me the way. I’ve just recently joined a women’s Bible study group, and it is all falling into place for me. Hang in there and it will fall into place for you too.

  3. Grace Oliver January 28, 2016 at 4:25 am #

    This story reminds me of saying that’ suffering leads to strength’
    I was asking questions like where is God? Has he forgotten me? And so on.
    Then i took time to pray and ask God to give me insight ad understating.
    From there, i come to realize that; had it were not His presence and love, i should
    have not gone through all my challenges as woman. And he also opened my eyes
    to see his many blessings in my life. Like, though my husband could not do many
    things as i expected from him; but God gave me grace by giving me good job/better pay
    and strength to run my family, help my children to learn to be patient during hard times and
    wait on God who is all knowing and planner (Jer.29:11), has purpose and destiny for each
    and everyone of us including (we) women. Again, i was reminded of great women of the
    Bible, like Deborah, Esther and many others, which in-turn confirmed my trust and hope in
    God and to be courageous and strong, keeping trusting him with each new assignment
    he is giving me in my life’s time. After all, depending on God, is depending on his protection,
    provision, defender, and faithfulness. Therefore, as woman we need only to fear him and ask
    for wisdom since with God everything is possible.

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