The Danger of Keeping Score

Sharon Jaynes Forgiveness, Living Free 432 Comments

Happy New Year! I don’t know about you, but after two weeks of holiday out-of-sync-schedule, I’m ready for routine. I love Christmas, but I love when everything gets back to normal. I’ve missed you! So I’m going to give away 5 free books. I’ll tell you how at the end of the blog.

Now, let’s reconnect with something that I’m committed not to do in 2019…keep score. Here’s a little reminder for us today.

She was at it again. Mrs. Barnett was getting out the scorecards and tallying up the points.

I sat with an older woman as she began enumerating her family’s shortcomings. “Callie never comes to see me,” she began to complain about her granddaughter. “And she never calls me, either. I saw her sitting on the other side of the church last week, and she didn’t even come over and give me a hug.”

“Benjamin is just as bad,” she continued, talking about her grandson. “He never comes by unless he wants something. I never hear from him, but if he wants money for a mission trip, you better believe I get a letter. He’s just like his father,” she continued. “He never pays any attention to me unless he wants something.”

Throughout our time together, Mrs. Barnett mentioned family members and friends who’d disappointed her, who had not lived up to her expectations and who had not given her the love she “deserved.” The more I listened, the clearer the picture became in my mind.

I envisioned Mrs. Barnett with a stack of scorecards. At the top of each card was a name: a child, a friend, a pastor, and yes, even one with my name printed across the top. If someone telephoned her, they got 1 point. If they stopped by for a visit, they got 1 point. If they gave her a hug without being asked, they got 1 point. If they told her she looked pretty, they got 2 points.

However, if they didn’t show the proper display of affection, they lost 5 points. If they didn’t visit within the expected amount of time, they lost 5 points. Didn’t send a card on the appropriate days? Another 5 points gone. Birthdays, Christmas gifts, phone calls, visits, etc., were all tallied on mental scorecards.

I shook my head to clear my mind and tried to pay attention to our conversation. After all, I didn’t want to get a bad mark on my scorecard.

That day I realized a valuable life lesson. As long as this woman keeps mental scorecards on the people in her life, she is going to be miserable. And if you or I keep scorecards for the people in our lives, we’ll be miserable as well.

First Corinthians 13 says, “Love is patient, love is kind … it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4a, 5b). Love is about giving — not necessarily money or gifts, but love. Love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs or perceived offenses. It doesn’t involve scorecards of plusses and minuses. It does not keep a running list of kindnesses to reward those who come out on top (and shun those who do not).

Self-centeredness says, “What has that person done for me lately?” Love says, “What can I do for that person today?”

Self-centeredness makes mental lists of how others have disappointed them. Love makes mental lists of ways they can bless others.

Self-centeredness withholds affection and approval from those who don’t deserve it. Love gives affection unconditionally because none of us do deserve it.

Self-centeredness says, “Come here and give me a hug.” Love says, “Come here and let me hug you.” Can you tell the difference? A 10-year-old certainly can. He or she might not be able to verbalize the difference or even recognize it, but they certainly feel the difference in the pit of their stomachs and in the tenderness of their hearts.

With genuine love, there are no scorecards. I’m certainly glad God tore up mine long ago.

King David wrote, “If you, LORD, kept a record of sins, LORD, who could stand?” (Psalm 130:3, NIV). Certainly, I couldn’t!

If God doesn’t keep a scorecard — making notes of the ways I have offended Him, disappointed Him or not given Him the attention He deserves — then why should I keep scorecards on the people in my little world? Let’s tear up those scorecards and begin loving as God loves us.

Dear Lord, I’m no longer keeping a scorecard for ____________. Help me love like You love — unconditionally, no strings attached. Whenever I fall into the old habit of scoring how someone did not live up to my expectations, convict me quickly, and help me replace the negative thoughts with a prayer of thanksgiving. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Today get a stack of index cards. At the top of each card, write one name of someone you might be keeping a scorecard for. Start with children, grandchildren, parents, in-laws, your spouse, your siblings, your pastor. Then your friends. Beside each name, write the words, “Scorecard.” For example: Beth’s Scorecard. Then pray today’s prayer, tear up the scorecards and throw them in the trash. Now doesn’t that feel good? How do you feel when someone is keeping a scorecard on you? Leave a comment, and let’s compare notes.

Do you have a New Year’s Resolution? How about this one: Let go of everything that holds you back. Move forward in courage with everything God has to push you forward. Live bold like the courageous warrior woman God called you to be. If you’ll lock arms with me, leave a comment that says, “I’m all in.” Also, I’d love to hear what you would like to see God do in your life this year.

I’ll pick 5 comments and send a copy of Take Hold of the Faith You Long For: Let go, Move forward, Live Bold. (Once I contact the winners, they’ll have 5 days to respond.)

Comments 432

  1. Dearest Sharon, I want to be known as a courageous warrior woman that my God has created me to be! I’m all in !!!

  2. Wow loved reading this Sharon, you are really an inspiration to me. I am all the way in Cape Town, South Africa and I love getting your emails and reading your blogs. I still need to get the book Enough. I will get that in the New year.

    I want to be closer to God this year. I have come a far way already and need to go even further with Him at my side.

    Thank you for everything you do

    Stay Blessed

  3. Wow!!! My prayer answered…
    I was typing a message to my husband just now ready with all my words… I love you but……..
    In a nutshell – I gave up alcohol 2 years ago as I got word from Gid that I am the gatekeeper of my family and for the sake of my kids I need to stop drinking (runs in both families). Unfortunately my awesome husband is diving deeper into the bottle since then and I am trying to love with all of my heart and unconditionally. But not so easy (from my own strength) with all the wrongdoing.
    But I also got word on 28/10/2017 that we are going to testify one day as a family and I am super excited for our breakthrough.
    In the meantime I will still love like God loves me and stop with keeping scores.
    Praise to our amazing and powerful Father.
    Blessings to you and your loved ones.
    Adel

  4. Hello, Sharon. For 2019 I am asking God to bring restoration and healing into our marriage. There have been some deep hurts following my husband’s unfaithful ness. God has really spoken to me through Isaiah 43. He is with us in our trials and helps us through them. Love and God bless Anne Gange. anne.gange23@yahoo.co.uk

  5. I am all in!

    Thank you for today’s devotion!

    Late fall and early winter of 2018 led me to see more of His Light, to search for light, to be light… Even though the calendar moved on to a new year I’m not feeling as though I’ve completed “light” as it’s still jumping off the pages at me and resounds when heard….

  6. I’m all in!! I long to be on fire for the Lord again!! I have been stagnant for to long just going through the motions. I know God has so much more for me in 2019!

  7. I love your devotional, and yesterday I have a sister that told me that I am very bold, well God made me like that, she told me that I needed to woman up, I told her, she need to learn how to forgive others like I did, and let it go with 2018, but she didn’t and it sad to know that she is a woman of God and into ministry . I learn to forgive others like Christ forgave me, also we not perfect God is still working in me.

  8. I’m All In. I have a few resolutions but my primary resolution is to SEE people. Not the outward appearances they choose to show us but the internal I need you SEE. To see my family, freiends, co-workers is My goal. To stop and go a little deeper.

  9. I’m all in!!! This year, I would like to see God help me to be a better parent. My kids are 11, 9 and 8, with special needs and many days are a struggle.

  10. What a convicting message! I started to realize all the scorecards I myself had been keeping. I strive with God’s help to do better in this area in 2019.

  11. What I’d like to see God do in my life thus year is, use me. Help me to step out boldly to be His disciple in whatever way He calls me to do so.

  12. I work as a PSW which means I am with the elderly and disabled daily as a job. I would love to see more time in 2019 to go out to others in need that I do not work with to give them encouragement, a time for smiles, laughter, put a bit of sunshine in their days , help in ways they cannot get otherwise. Mental stimulation is a necessity for others to shine, a lot of these people have none other than staring at a TV . My work consumes my days and I see others that so long for compassion and conversation.
    My dream for this year is to spread help, love and the Lords word to people in my community that need a lift in their spirit and a pep in their step with a smile on their face.

  13. I am all in Sharon. I lost my mom in 2018. then i was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Friends and family rallied around me for awhile. Some family refused to help, I forgave them and do not keep score. Friends helped and some i never heard from. The same with them i am not keeping score. I am glad for what God has provided. I am glad for family and friends.

  14. This was EXACTLY what I needed to hear – a messsage straight from God through you! I had a bitter divorce after a 27 year marriage, yet I’ve tried to continue to be a united front for all holidays and birthdays for our 4 kids (all grown and married now). It can be so hard and I find myself constantly going back to the resentments I have, the hurts from past. It’s also easy to feel a little jealous (or kinda keep track) of how often they get together with Dad instead of me. And now there’s a first granddaughter and I even found myself hurt that she makes the sound for PawPaw but doesn’t say Mimi yet. How silly, I know, but I’m my heart I was keeping track. Thanks for this blog. My New Years resolution is definitely “on track” now!!

  15. I also want to move forward and not keeping scorecards I need to let go and move forward
    I need to start the new year with a clean heart and let God guide me and lead me where it is he wants me to go

  16. Hi there. This is my year. I’ve been raising my 3 grandsons since May of 2017. They have required me, me and me…..All Of Me! They are now at a point of doing better after months of behaviorists and therapy. I let go of me for them, no job, no makeup, no friends, anger toward parents, and no time to be in my Bible. This is my year. Wearing my makeup, reading my Bible, looking for a new career. I feel I would benefit Greatly from your book. God Bless You

  17. This is just what I needed today. He is faithful and always lead me to what it needed at the time. I will not get stuck in stuff. Thank you.

  18. I’m all in! In 2019, May God continue to bring joy and peace by continuing to fill our hearts with his gentle, ageless word.

  19. I’m all in My goals this year is to not be afraid and to realize that I make a difference. I am gonna achieve career changes and not fail . I will finally believe I am valued and a child of God . My God is bigger !

  20. I’d love to see God inspire the heart of my teenage daughter to love Him like he did for me when I was her age!! To give her the desire to know, love and serve Him with other young Christians!

  21. I’m All In!! I would love be God’s vessel. U feel this past year was time of learning and drawing closer to Him. I am still in that process and pray I will forever desire to draw closer and closer. But I also want the boldness to share His love and His word. I feel He is preparing me for something, I’m still not sure what that is yet. I continue to study and trust in Him though. God Bless and thank you so much for your faithfullnes.

  22. I’m All In…For Jesus!

    I declare that every day this year something good is going to happen to me and THROUGH me in Jesus’ name.

  23. I keep a scorecard for my husband for sure and today I am tearing it up and praying for strong conviction to not make a mental note on perceived offenses. I am praying to quit being so selfish and self centered and believing that this world revolves around me.

    Thank you for this post,

  24. I’m all in!
    I am praying God uses me in ways I can better serve Him. I am making a commitment to begin each day with God. I am keeping my devotionals next to my bed so they’re the first thing I read in the morning. I am reading ONLY the emails that begin with God and leave the rest for another time during the day.

  25. Oh Sharon, what a wonderful reminder and a “pony for you” (ha) on your scorecard for this encouragement. I have personally seen two families just devastated by “scoring” and I’m committed to loving, not listing!
    Happy New Year!

  26. Wow! This is an excellent reminder, especially here at Christmas time when our inner child may take over and start comparing gifts. I know I’m guilty! Not anymore, though…or at least I pray not. When those “scorecard” thoughts creep in, I ask God to take them and give me kind thoughts about how much I care for them and how they must care for me to gift me with whatever they’ve gifted me.

  27. I keep score by holding on to past hurts in my marriage, which of course means that I am constantly replaying them in my mind and bringing them back uo when a new hurt arises. When I think about this, though, I realize that this is primarily hurting me. Where’s the sense in that? 🙂 I’m going to try the exercise of tearing up my husband’s score card, for myself as much as for him.

  28. Today’s blog has convicted me greatly, realizing I had been keeping a scorecard in regard to my daughter – we’ve been her 3 sons legal guardians for 10+ yrs due to her negative behavior. I need to exemplify love rather than resentment.

  29. Love doesn’t lead us astray. True Love God’s Love never does, it’s all the wants and lust for things of this world. I’m going to try to Love, let go of my frivolity! I want to Love like Jesus.

  30. I’m all in! 2019 has me excited to grow deeper in Christ! I am praying that my son will come to know Christ as his personal Saviour! And I am praying that some relationships in my family’s lives will be restored after several years of heartache and hurt! God is all I want more of this year!

  31. Relationships are all about forgiveness. God’s forgiveness for us and our forgiveness for others. Jesus gives us a new start each day and we should be ready to extend His Grace to those around us.

    1. Im all in!!!. Ive been so angry with someone. He hurt me terribly. Told a friend that i probably wont ever be able to forgive him for not supporting me when things went wrong. He just ran off. A while back God gave me 1 corinthians 13. I understood whst Hod meant. Tonight i heard thr Lord say im keeping a scorecard. That was all. I googled for more insight and came across this site and you explained it so well. There is so much on my scorecard i dont know where to start. Its going ti be a challenge but ill have to obey. I think God is saying that I need to love him unconditionally.

  32. I’m all in!

    2019 needs to be a year of healing for me, forgiveness and no scorecards! Thank you for your encouraging words!

  33. This message speaks directly to me. Without realizing just how strong this stronghold can be, I see now that keeping score is a problem…a real problem in my life. I am determined to release it and move forward as I so earnestly want to do in 2019. Who the sons sets free is free indeed and I claim that for me so I can be who He has called me to be.
    Thank you for the word this morning!

  34. I was wondering what I was doing wrong,why I was not moving forward even after telling myself that I have forgiven. Thanks Sharon.

  35. I’m all in, I never realize I was keeping score cards. Part of our New Year 21 day fast is to identify areas in our lives that we need GOD to deliver us from. Thank you for helping me add to my list. I’m writing names on my score card and destroying them today.

  36. I am all in!

    Your message reminded me of not only where I have gone wrong, but also reminded me of my wedding vows. For 2019 i clothe myself with Perfect love casting out all fear. May my marriage be filled with all power of heaven and be healed by the blood of Jesus.

  37. I’m all in! I’m dealing with daughters who won’t speak to their brother due his hurts to our family with drugs. As a mom I love him unconditionally i see myself in this article wanting the girls to speak to their brother and feeling resentment at times. I would like God to show me how to love them unconditionally in this situation as well!

  38. I’m all in! And I’d like to begin to see the Lord restore the years the locusts have eaten by softening my heart and helping me see his blessings where I’ve perceived his cursing.

  39. Lord, You are the One who brought me to where I am today. Continue to lead me. Let my ears hear Your voice & my heart feel Your presence. Help me become less so You can become more. I’m all in!

  40. I’m all in. Praying for God to undertake in health issues this year for family and friends. Praying I have wisdom in these situations and am all in for them🙏❤️

    Letting go of things that have bothered me this last year and realising that I don’t need scorecards I just need to love!

  41. I’m all in. For me this year, it’s to be a peace keeper, not a trouble maker. Family dynamics can make this truly challenging, but I truly want peace within my family and within my husband’s family!!

  42. I am all in! God, please challenge me to live my most authentic life and present me with things that make me a little uncomfortable but if I have the faith to follow your guidance will bring me to a great place! Amen!

  43. Oh my! I honestly didn’t know I was keeping score, until I read this! Thank you for sharing this with us today and thank You Holy Spirit for convicting my heart.

  44. I’m all in! Thank you for bringing the scorecard issue to my attention! I hadn’t thought of it that way! I’m going to concentrate on being more intentional about showing love to others this year!

  45. “I’m all in!”
    My word for the year is “courage.” 2 Corinthians 3:12, “Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold.” Whatever God asks me to do, I want to respond with courage and boldness.

  46. I’m all in!!!! I would love to God direct me words of wisdom to be able to encourage and uplift others on their journey of life!

  47. I’m all in! What a clear example of how shallow our love can be! Lord, I want to love like You, keeping memory of the good things , rejecting the negative things!

  48. Thank you for sharing. For the new year instead of a new years resolution I choose a word to focus on. This year there are two positive (no score cards )and joy. If I focus on the positive joy from God will follow. Phillpian 4:8-9.

  49. This is so what I needed to hear today! Last year my husband and two of our sons started a business together. After only 7 months, one of our sons decided he needed to pull out. He had all kinds of reasons that he wasn’t getting his way. We have always been a close family, and this has been very hurtful to relationships. I have .prayed so hard and cried so much that we can get relationships restored. It is a legal LLC, and they took out a huge loan to start the business. So the bank won’t allow our son to pull out of the loan. But he left the business anyway, and got another job, instead of working things out. After reading this, I realize this is exactly what we have all been doing…keeping score on each otiher! I have prayed after reading this that if I can be the one to tear up the scorepad…maybe I can challenge my husband and our son that is still in the business to do the same! Please pray for us that we will live just loving each othser, and not keep score! We are all Christians, but Satan loves to tear families apart! Thank you for sharing this!! It has become my New Years resolution fir 2019!!

  50. I am all in. I am trying to find joy and contentment this year. The last few years have been hard to get through. So this year I am praying for God to show me contentment in my life.

  51. I’m all in.
    Let Go.
    Move Forward.
    In Freedom and Power.
    Unhindered by Self Centeredness.
    Not tallying mental scorecards.
    Rather, offering unconditional Love.

  52. I’m all in!
    God has shown me how “keeping score” affects the quality of life. My dear sister Nancy and I are very close and I love her so much. The quality of her life is not good. She has had 5 strokes and has been left with limited movability. It breaks my heart to hear her suffering. She shares her loneliness and sadness with me when we talk on the phone. (I live 8.5 hours away and can’t afford to see her as often as I like) A lot of her conversations center on the disappointment and pain she feels from past hurts. She talks again and again about her expectations have not been met. I don’t think that she has God in her life. My prayer for the new year is for her to put God back into her life. I will to continue to love and stay in closer contact with her.

  53. I’m all in. Trying to recover from betrayal. Not easy. Some days you feel like you are moving forward, other days you still feel stuck.

  54. Thank you for your message today! How easy it is for us to keep score whether or not we intend to. I’d love to have the opportunity to read your book.

  55. This has been an answer to prayer I’ve been hurt and upset with my relationship with my adult daughter and have continually been writing her a letter but praying about whether I should send it because I know it will hurt her or if it’s just an exercise for me to let go. Your article today was truly Gods answer to my prayers and I will be deleting all the draft of the letter, continue praying for our relationship, and beginning praying for even more patient and the ability to love her unconditionally thank you and God bless

  56. Love this devotion! It provoked many feelings for me. I was reminded how many times I keep score with my husband, children, family and friends. I pray that God will remind me of this as I move forward in 2019. Thank you for bring this to my attention as I walk with Jesus daily. I want others to see Jesus in me and live for Him.

  57. I’m all in! I will like for God to open my ears to hear that I may know my calling, that I may know His directions for my life. That He will change my life and I will never be the same any more. Thanks

  58. WOW AND OUCH.. THAT REALLY HIT HOME AND IT HURT. Oh my how I have failed the Lord..Thank God that He did not keep a scorecard on me because if He did I would be DOOMED FOREVER!!!! Thank you so much for this reminder..Wow How powerful this was.. Cut right to the Heart.. PTL. MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON ME. Thank You so much. I love your books.

  59. I’m all in. I’d love to see God soften my heart and let my guard down. Since I lost my mom I feel like I’m not the same patient, caring person I once was.

  60. Oh! Please I need this book. I’ve been praying so hard for God to give me a sign or explain why I do what I do and how to change my ways. Then this morning I received your blog. I want to change. I NEED to change. I’m tired of being unhappy and sad.

  61. I’m ALL in!!

    I am looking forward to God changing me this year. Changing my mindset and the way that I view things so that I can learn to let go of the past and focus on the here and now and the changes that God has completed and is working on in the people in my life. Bringing me more calmness with my frustrations and teaching me how to keep certain things to myself and let go of them quicker by giving them to Him FIRST and leaving it there.

  62. I’m all in!! I’d love to see God continue to grow me in my faith and use me as I facilitate Bible Study and minister to the ladies in my Bible Study group.

  63. I’m ALL in! I would like to see God light me on fire! Not literally of course, but I want to be on fire for God and for that light to shine through me to my family and friends- well actually to everyone! I’m tired of being lukewarm and wishy washy!

  64. I fear my Mom is one of those people keeping scorecards. My Dad passed 14 years ago and I lost my sister a little over a year ago to cancer. Mom has seemed to have gotten over the grief hurdle of losing my father but cannot get over losing my sister. She complains when my other sister (who lives next door to her) does not help her. She complains when my daughter (her one and only granddaughter) does not take the time to come and visit her. She is currently experiencing severe back issues, so she cannot do for herself the things she used to do, so she complains that no one helps her. I love her because she is my mother, but I am constantly frustrated with how she uses guilt to get the attention she wants. I pray for her health, her emotional well-being, and for her in general, but it is very difficult to deal with. Please pray for my mother AND for me. I want to share this devotional with her but I am afraid she will take it the wrong way and become angry with me. Thank you.

  65. Sharon, I’m all in! What do I want God to do in my life? I want him to help me give him my total trust of my son Marc’s life. I want to lay him on the alter and trust God that he will wrap him in his arms and help him feel how much he loves him and that he will soften his heart toward him and he will give his life completely over to God and have a hunger for him and his word and the truth will set him free. Amen thank you Sharon I enjoy your teaching it blesses me. God Bless you, Lora

  66. Life feels like it’s been in shambles for the past 4 years. I keep asking “why God? Why me? Why this?” and feel like I can’t push through. Just when I think things are turning around something else happens to make me question my faith in God. I want a faith that trusts in God through all things, even the really tough ones. I struggle to remember that he is on my side, even when I feel like he’s not.

  67. I’d like that God would give me my own babies this year, lost a 7month pregnancy and had a miscarriage at 2months last year. I want the Lord to wipe away my tears and give me double for my troubles. Also to get a good job and God will to immigrate to Canada or Australia this year in Jesus name.

  68. So good!! I think the people we love most are often the ones we keep score over, even unintentionally. Thank you for bringing this to the forefront of our thoughts!

  69. I absolutely adore my Grandmother but she keeps score on all of us. It’s exhausting and hurtful. This devotional spoke truth to me and challenged me to make sure Im not keeping score on others. The relationships I have with non score keepers breath life in to me. I’m so thankful God doesn’t keep score and loves me unconditionally. My score cards are torn up and thrown away 💗.

  70. i definitely need God to carry me through this coming year. Thanks for todays devotion. Really spoke to me to tear up some scorecards, for my husband and friend. very convicting

  71. hi Sharon, I am from Mexico, Bahias de Huatulco, I am blessing with your vlogs every week, same in the girlfriends in God!!

    God bless you and happy new year, please, don´t stop write, because It´s feeds me!!

    Love you!

  72. What beautiful thoughts and a good reminder of what my persepective is on others actions. I needed these very thoughts to start my New Year. Throw away those scorecards and along with them all the ill feelings I’ve had toward the person. Lord forgive me for keeping track. Thank you for the freedom You give when the scorecards are destroyed. Help me in 2019 to think of others instead of myself.

  73. I’m all in! I am hopeful that my time with God will be rejuvenated. I’ve let my quiet time become somewhat stale and that’s because I let the world draw me in too early in my day. I want to get rid of distractions during my alone time with Him (especially my iPhone). I miss the excitement of waking up and wanting to run to Him so I can be with Him.

  74. I’m all in.
    Starting a new life in FL. As I seek God for friendship and community and a new church my prayer is that He use me to be the same for others.

  75. You don’t know how much I needed these words this morning. I’ve been caught up in so much self centered ness that I could not see how miserable I was making myself. Thank you so much.
    Tawnya DeBoer

  76. God has been extremely good to me (always, even in trials I can see Him work in my life) January 17th will mark two years that I went on a lifestyle change. I weighed 298 pounds and I have lost almost 130 pounds. I kept waiting around for a miracle, thinking God is just going to remove the weight because I was too lazy and scared to step forward. I finally stepped forward with Gods help and met with a personal trainer and told him I wanted my life back. With God by my side and the personal trainer three days per week and my change in eating habit, I am now living the life that I know God intended for me to do. I’m so thankful I wised up and realized if I lean on God, he will see me through any trial I may have. It may not be the way I would have done it, but when I turned everything over to him and had the faith that he would see me through is when my life changed. Therefore I am eternally grateful that I have God in my life and know He is always there for me.

  77. This really hit home with me. I needed to read it on Proverbs 31 and I needed to read it again here today. I can safely say God chose me for your intended audience. I admit I have been keeping score with my sister. Long story short, I feel like she should be doing more to help me with our elderly father that lives with me. This has caused a complete communication breakdown. We are not arguing or “not on speaking terms”, we just are not calling each other every few days like we used to. This has gone on for 11 months. My sister had an anxiety attack at work a couple of months ago and was ordered off work for 5 weeks and no one bothered to tell me. We work in the same building! I feel guilty about her anxiety because I have always been “the strong one” and her sounding board. If those of you who read this comment would please pray for me I would really appreciate that. Thanks.

  78. I’m all in. This year I would like to be more devoted to listening to the Holy Spirit and to developing a personal relationship with him. I want to follow his leading in all areas of my life. I pray he reveals the truth in the scriptures to me and that I will be able to do my part and apply it in my life. That is so important to me. I really want to study the bible this year and not just read it. I reallly want it to speak to me. I pray for the gifts of the spirit and that I will be a blessing to others. I appreciate what you wrote today. It is an important reminder not to keep score. It’s a good way to start the year with no scores in your mind and love in your heart. Thank you for your time in sharing with us. It means a lot and makes a difference. All the best in the New Year!

  79. I’m all in. Letting go of comparison with others and being present in the moment, gladly. Accepting instead of “I would have done it this way”

  80. I am so guilty of keeping a scorecard with my daughter’s name on it. Thank you God for this message, sent through Sharon, which totally has my name on it.
    Love IS kind….God does not keep a scorecard on me…as my prayers now will be…NO scorecards on anyone, especially my daughter, starting NOW.

  81. I would like to see God help me move on from what didn’t happen in my life the way I felt it should. I want to stop dwelling on the failed engagement and see it as a blessing.

  82. My person is John , a new love interest that I have not known long but expect him to be what I need. Its so unfair. God please forgive me for keeping score. Let me show him unconditional grace and mercy.

  83. I would love to see God move me from The Rock and Hard place I’ve been in and out of all year! I’d like God to help me make wise decisions to stay alive and live the life he so desperately wants me to live.

  84. Hi Sharon. I was privileged to hear you speak at Clark’s Summit Univ. Women’s Conference. I love receiving your devotions. The current one on not keeping score really hit home! I forwarded that one onto a lot of my girlfriends. I saw today that you sent that one devotional out again with revision on the prayer. So glad you did. Now I can forward it to my brothers in Christ. Thank you. Praying for you right now! Elizabeth Potter

  85. Lord I will no longer kero a scorecard on my stepson, Matt. Help me love him like you love him. Help me take my negative thoughts and turn them in to positive, loving thoughtss. In Jesus name, Amen.

  86. This so touched and convicted me, I didn’t even realize I was guilty of this until I read this blog. I want to love others as Christ loves me, score are free!! Thank you for posts and allowing you to be used by the Lord.

  87. I have had a bad habit of keeping score in the past… am much more conscious about it but it’s a very hard way of thinking to break. No one benefits from this thinking especially me so it’s once again at the top of my habits to break this year.

  88. I’m all in!! I’ve made up my mind to move forward in a very difficult family situation. The word I’ve been meditating on from the Bible is courageous. You used that word many times in this blog and it spoke to me. Thank you!!!

  89. I’m all in! This year and this day I want to stop keeping a score card , let go and move forward to do what the Lord wants me to do!

  90. I don’t want to keep score anymore! It is draining the life out of me! I am so thankful Our Father doesn’t keep score with me! Thank you Jesus!

  91. I’m all in. I didn’t realize it, but I’m a scorekeeper. Oh dear Lord, please help me to just love on these people and not expect anything in return.

  92. This was just what I needed to hear today. As I start the new year I need to stop scoring people on how they respond or don’t respond to me. Thank you for sharing this today. It has encouraged me and challenged me to love more and keep score less.

  93. I’d would like to see how God can help me through a marriage to an alcoholic. We’ve had many struggles, and certainly trying not to keep score. But ultimately I see this as my time to grow closer to the Lord and pray that my husband does also to find peace and protection.

  94. My goal is to move forward this year, letting go of any and all hindrances. Letting go of disappointments, hurts, and pains from the past. I am ready to let them go because that is not my identity in Christ. I want God to do a new thing in me.

  95. Thank you for sharing. As I do my devotional this morning one person came to mind. I will certainly be praying God frees me from this. Also love your resolution I’M ALL IN!

  96. I’m all in!
    I want to write. I have no idea how to start. This has been my life long dream. I can think of nothing better than to write encouraging words that give people hope and a desire to draw closer to God. Sharing this dream with people terrifies me! I’ve held it so close to my heart for so so long.

  97. Wow, did I need this !!! My best friend, whom I started question the “best” part, “ditched” a HUGE party commitment on NYE. Does that sound like a good reason to doubt her ? No ? But it did at that time. She had previously had a a HUGE party. We drove over 6 hours, after burying my brother in law, my children not feeling well, JUST so we didn’t disappoint her & miss her big event. With that said, her “ditching” me, began my “score card”. After this reading email, praying the prayer, I’ve let go, ripped up the score card. Thank you, THANK GOD !!!

  98. I pray to God that he shows me how to be more open to Love, not only his but from the people around me. To not live within myself with all these emotions and feelings of past years; but to be open to his grace and mercy. To be the ME he wants me to be. To forgive me for past transgressions.

  99. I’m ALL in! I pray that God will give me courage, wisdom and boldness in telling others (including my children) about Him!

  100. I can see that when I’m disappointed in my loved ones I am really focused on my expectations of them. My prayer for 2019 is that I will look to Jesus to fulfill me with His love so that I am not disappointed in people when they don’t fulfill my expectations of them.

  101. Happy New Year Sharon, it does feel good to get back into a healthier routine after the holidays. You asked the question,’ What would I like to see God do in my life in the New Year?’ Well for me, He has done everything already. Now it’s up to me. Dig deeper into His Word (I have been challenged by your weekly scripture memorization used in your ENOUGH online study). I need to live and love from His Word. I am challenging myself to daily scripture study and memorization; giving grace to others and myself when needed and to looking for ways I can shine His love on this world around me. Thanks again for sharing your story and helping us grow in the knowledge and grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Blessings on you, your family, and your ministry, Jackie

  102. I don’t do New Years resolutions but rather I pick a word that I try to live out the next year. I have been doing this for many years. My word for this year is TRUST!

  103. I am so excited to see you address this issue – I was in an abusive relationship for years and used the scorecard to tally my wows and let my friends know how low he had scored! I now look back and see how crazy it made my life! Anxious to read the book!

  104. I’m all in, Sharon! Never before have I been more convinced that as a woman of God, we are called to be beacons of light, hope, and yes, happiness in this dark world. The world needs us to share the gospel and do it with great joy and happiness.
    Instead of making resolutions several years ago I started focusing on the One Word for each year. I don’t take a test, I just pray and spend time in God’s word allowing the Holy Spirit to give me my focus word. For 2019 my word is “Roots” and I can’t wait to see how God is going to grow me using this word.
    My devotion on Jan 1 was entitled “Happy Roots” and I knew on day one God was already at work showing me how awesome is He. God wants us to stay rooted in Him to have happy full lives that bear wonderful fruit. As Christians we are allowed to be happy. we just need to keep in mind that true happiness comes only from Him. It doesn’t come through our material possessions, our relationships, or our circumstances.
    When our happy has deep roots, those roots allow us to weather the drought and storms of life. They allow us to trust in the goodness of God and to produce the sweet fruit that reflects the heart of our loving Saviour, Jesus. My scripture for 2019 is Jeremiah 17:7-8 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends it’s roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but it’s leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit”. In other words, our deep roots allow us to live happy lives.
    In 2019, my prayer is I my roots will grow so deep toward the eternal goodness of God that I will be forever changed.
    (My devotional – The Year of Living Happy by Alli Wothington)

  105. Dear Mrs. Jaynes! I am all in with you! I would like God to take away my Anxiety because my Son is leaving for the Military on Monday.. I am happy for him but, I am very sad too! I am going back to work to take my mind off of the situation some! I made a New Year resolution! To read and study the Bible! I hoped and prayed that you and your family had a Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year! You are so much appreciated and you are Loved my friend! Happy 2019 ❤🌹

  106. Love this and very timely for me! I hadn’t thought I’d been ‘keeping score’ as it relates to people who’ve hurt me. I thought I was ‘protecting’ myself from further pain. There is a wisdom in not allowing people who’ve hurt you to continue…this is opening my eyes to try to see it differently, show up differently and ask God to guide me as I figure out what the new relationship could look like.
    Thank you for this perspective this morning!

    PS. I’m like you, glad to be back to my routine 🙂

  107. How freeing to stop keeping score and begin to make a difference in the people in my life in a Christ-reflecting way. Thanks for allowing me to see people in a different way.

  108. I have ore score cards then I can keep track of. I see my grown children now keeping score cards with their siblings, friends, their parents and extended family, I need this book and will read it and pass it on to them when done with notes of encouragemrnt to count their blessings! (PS: if I do t win I’ll be ordering g the book…I really do need to read and soak this in)

  109. I’m all in😊. This year with Gods help I will have my Essential Oil business strong enough to quit my job.

  110. I’m all in. I am full of expectancy for what God is going to do in my kids lives this year. My daughter is a Senior and I know He has a great plan for her. I see glimpses of it unfolding and I am standing in faith as we look forward to Him bringing it to pass. I am also full of expectancy for a summer job opportunity for my son this summer working with Legos, which are his passion.

  111. I would like to be able to get through seminary and be a chaplain but first i bnb have to let go of the fear and do whay God has for me. I need to keep my faith and lock arms with Him to get me through all of this with an aging parent as well. This book will give me insight

  112. Keeping score was beginning to create such bitterness in my soul! I’m resolving to put that score card down for good…

  113. I’m all in! How timely the devo today…my “word” for 2019 is EXPECTATION but I had not thought of the word in the way the devo presented it. What a liberator. As a widow, it is often easy to expect things from loved ones and then feel disappointed despite your best efforts to not do so. I have committed to look with EXPECTATION for God moments in my live in 2019 and to notice them. Now I will add to not expect things from others from a selfish place.

  114. This is a great reminder and one I needed to hear. I think some times I keep score unconsciously. I need to make an effort to focus on loving without keeping score.

  115. I’m All In, Sharon. I’ve just ended a second marriage (first one was 30 years, this one was 2 years) that I thought was the “one” that truth be told, God warned me not to pursue. We always live life backwards seeing the signs, but the flesh and empty desires of our longing led me to a terrible choice. A wolf in sheeps clothing, narcissism, abusive man. Fearful of my life, I made the decision to divorce and now working through healing of self forgiveness of breaking a covenant that weighs heavy on me. God doesn’t want divorce, but I had to realize that God doesn’t want me to live like that. I know that God is going to turn it into good for others and I’m digging in with the only source that I should ever depend on. Staying close to the vine and asking for God to prune me in every way to be used for him. Self forgiveness is the hardest as condemnation comes some days, which I know is Satan. Your encouragement in devotions and the books you write have always been God speaking to me. I have all of your books and I think it’s time to go back and re-read some of them. I just wanted to say thank you for using your gift and giving encouragement for God’s daughters as we greet this day that He has given us. May you know that you are a light! “All in, All Yours” is what I have tattooed from my baptism 3 years ago. Reading this today was a confirmation that I needed. Again, thank you. God’s blessings to you and yours.

  116. I get weary in score card people and the game they play. If they only know the circles people run in to please them. I pray that I never get to be like that. I want to hug or encourage because I want to, not because I can get points!
    Thank u for the reminder.

  117. Oh my! This post was an eye opener….thankfully not for me, but for my deceased Mom! Bless her heart, I always said she never enjoyed her life and blessings because she constantly compared her 5 children. Visits and phone calls to her became obligatory because she started her visit degrading or bragging on recent interactions with siblings. I always felt so sad and deflated after spending time with her….b/c I never measured up. With time, I’ve come to realize that it was her issue and not mine. After reading your post, I now have a way to put her actions into words….she was definitely a scorekeeper and thankfully I saw how detrimental her actions were and vowed to never be like that. I live my life gracefully, gratefully and graciously and feel great about it!

  118. This new year I want to grow closer to God more than ever before. I told God I

    want to be so close to him that I bump into to him with each step. I want my prayer life to grow and to listen more closely to others so I will know how to pray for them. I love my Lord and Saviour and want to honor Him more than ever.

  119. This was very deep and moving to me. I grew up in an abusive home and for years was angry and “blamed” everyone that did not rescue me. I was in my 40’s before I truly let go of all the anger and resentment. It freed me in ways that was impossible to imagine. Keep this blog going, it lifts me up!

  120. I’m all in. Thank you. I’d like to be more and more transformed by God’s unwavering Mercy towards me this year. And in turn, live for His glory. “In gorgeous mercy; God delivers you from you.” Paul David Tripp

  121. Happy New Year Sharon-
    I met you at a church conference in Texas & shared about my husband of 22years betraying me w my best friend. As difficult as it has been this has opened my eyes to who my husband really is. The truth has been so hard to see & after 2 years of my attempts to reconcile & rebuild God has released me from this situation. It really is t what I hoped for but I know God is good & trustworthy & I am seeing more & more he is delivering me from a toxic & manipulative relationship. Not quiet the New Year hope i had but I can see the end of a long struggle and have hope in our great God that he will redeem all that has been lost. Thank you for your encouragement ♥️🙏🏻

  122. I want that strong faith I had a year ago. That excitement for my quiet time with my Lord! Yes, that loss is my doing, not my Lords. I need something to jump start me for that passion I once had!

  123. Sharon, thank you SO much for your words. I am that bitter old woman who has been keeping scorecards. I know it, but seeing the truth in writing and having it “Gibb” slap me up side the head is quite effective! Now…on to some heart wrenching confession time with my Father and moving forward in love to those whose scorecards I have torn up!

  124. I’m all in. The word God gave me for 2019 is “GROW”. My prayer this year is I will grow in the Lord through His Word, through spending time in prayer and meditation with Him, and through accomplishing His Will for my life through daily encounters He places before me each day.

  125. I’m all in! I hold on to the “good mother “ scorecard comparing myself to other mothers and usually feeling less competent. I beat myself up thinking of how I should be doing this or that with my children and always come up short. This year I’m going to give my worries over to God, quit comparing and let love and faith rule in my heart. ❤️

  126. Dear Sharon,

    Oh what a mighty message you have opened my eyes to and I see a clear picture of my scorecards. I feel so ashamed because I definitely do not want to be that person. It isn’t the type of Christian that I want to be. I truly didn’t realize that selfish attitude that I have displayed. I am so greatful that God is a forgiving God. There is so little time for negative responses, attitudes and petty behavior towards those we say we love. I can not change other people’s behavior but I can change mine. I pray that God will aid me in changing my mine! Thank you.
    Be blessed,
    Sonya

  127. I had an aunt who “kept score”. I think as we get older some of us tend to get a little bitter or feel like we have been forgotten. I agree, we should be hugging others and calling them, and patting others on the back, then we get the hug, the phone call we long for, and the pat on the back we wished for. I guess we need to look at things differently. If we give what we want, we might just get it back in three fold!!! But I try to give what I want and not expect it in return……most of the time. A New Year and new ways to try and help us get through this life we are blessed with!

  128. I am so in! I would love God to take away the IF ONLY’s going around in my head ! you know the ones that are if only I was thinner if only I had longer hair it’s only this if only that.. I am 71 years old and so tired of beating myself up mentally ! I am praying for God to take away the uneasiness 🙏 thank you for your wonderful words Suzi

  129. A friend recommended you as an author and I am so glad! This was the first book I read from you so I already own it but I would love to get another copy to share with a friend! Your books portray a clear message and practical applications.

  130. I’m all in! I would like to see God restore my health and remind me to make healthy choices to become all he desires me to be.

  131. My disabled son and I tease about giving each other a check when we do thngs for each other. He often needs help doing every-day things. Your blog convicted me that I should not even tease him about it. I thank God that I am physically able to do the things that he can’t. I would never want him to think he is a burden no more “checking” when I can help him out

  132. “I’m all in”

    In 2019 more personal time in quiet devotion and prayer so the people I come in contact with I can be intentional on leading them to a closer walk with Christ

  133. Thank you Sharon for The Danger of Keeping Score. Until I read it I didn’t realize that I am actually guilty of doing that with some family and friends. I realize how God loves us with no score cards, and I want to love the same way. I am adding that to my list of concscious resolutions for and going to make those cards, say the prayer and then tear them up. God bless you and Happy New Year!

  134. Before I read your blog this morning, I had no idea that I even had score cards, but I do, and it explains a lot of angst I’ve been trying to figure out. Thank you for the truth you always share with us! And I hope you and yours have a wonderful New Year!

  135. I am all in! This year my hope is that God will use my life to fortify others with only His purposes and take the focus off of myself! Break down any barriers that hold me back and take the fear and anger that sometimes moves me into depression. Use it to motivate me to help others to come to You Lord, in Jesus name! Amen!

  136. Let go of Fear- fear holds me back from making connections with women. Fear paralyzes me from being open to new experiences and new friends. This year I want to step forward in faith every day.. sometimes big steps sometimes small steps but always forward.. I neee this like I need air. 💕

  137. What a beautiful devotion to start off the new year. I need to constantly remind myself that God has a perfect plan for ME! That plan does not include looking at others and comparing or keeping score. He is the perfect Companion giving me confident peace and reminders that He does not keep score ❤️

  138. I’m all in! I lost my husband last year to suicide and I have been struggling so badly, but I am making a conscious decision to move forward and thank God for the blessings that I have. It is too easy to dwell on the bad things, and I am struggling but I am determined to continue to take those baby steps forward. Although I don’t understand the why, I know that God has been faithful and has provided for me. It’s a long road ahead but I’m going to do this.

  139. I’m all in! (Though when we lock arms, you may need to drag me along at times and remind me frequently that God is mightier than my fears.) Thanks for the giveaway!

  140. “I’m all in.” I would love to get rid of everything that is holding me back from loving God and others with my whole heart!!! Thank you for this devotion! Sharing on Facebook!

  141. Sharon,
    My husband and I are blessed to be at The Beach for the winter.
    I am reading “Enough” right now. I also have the book you are giving away! Reading that one next. Good luck to some lucky winners

  142. Thank you for the life giving message about scorecard keeping. I hadn’t realized I was doing this until reading it with a member of my family. I love starting out the new year with this message and the freedom it brings to love unconditionally, not dependent on other’s actions.

  143. 2019 is a blank calendar with many boxes that I will cross off as each day ends! My goal is to do a kind thing each day for someone. I began doing this in December, as I felt the “dread” of being away from my family during the holidays. Each day I would consciously consider a way I could make another’s day brighter! I started small… taking cookies to my elderly neighbor, driving another to a doctor’s appointment, or writing a note to a friend I’d lost touch with over the years. My son began to ask me why I was being so “nice”, and it floored me that he noticed! (I thought I was already nice, for lack of a better word!). I told him about my giving project, and he said, “Cool.” That’s another word I would probably use differently, but it made me feel good. Giving intentionally, and not expecting anything in return has blessed me beyond any words! I will definitely continue this, but instead of selfishly doing kind deeds to starve my dread, I’ll be doing them out of love. It feels different now, and what began as a way to make me feel better has taught me that God shows up, when I do… His greatest gift was sacrificing His Son… how can my small gestures of kindness make a difference? They have! I will continue to be “nice”, because it’s not only “cool”, it’s what God commands us to do to show His love! Cheers to a great year!

  144. Such a great post today! Thank you for that reminder. And thank you for writing “Praying For Your Husband from Head to Toe.” It’s an amazing resource and really helps me cover my husband in prayer when I can’t find the right words.

  145. I’m all in. I would love to see God help me forgive someone that was once a big part of my life. Because of their actions, they will never be a part of my life again but I need to be able to forgive them, the way God has forgiven me, so that I may be able to move forward and accept things as they are.

  146. I’ll all in.
    This year I’m praying for God to help me persevere in love, patience, kindness, self control – especially towards my children. Also to keep me pregnant till I’m term without any medical intervention like progesterone (currently 16 weeks pregnant and always had early contractions with other pregnancies). Also I’d like to get deeper into God’s Word.

  147. I’m all in!

    This is the year my children will come back and serve the Lord with all their heart, soul and mind. This is the one thing i have always desired and have prayed for years……..

  148. I’m all in! Loved your post today, actually I love every one of them. It’s just today it really spoke to me. The coming year will be bringing lots of changes and I am praying for courage to do what GOD wants me to do. I know HE’s always with me and I have nothing to fear. Thank you so much for your posts, I learn so much! Have a blessed day ❤️

  149. Without my Lord I can do nothing and He is the love of my life! I looked after my mom 10 yrs till she passed Dec ‘17. Inherited her fibromyalgia rheumatica 2 years ago & trying to get off prednisone since but keep having relapses. Also have 5 buldging discs with one herniated. God is my healer and He cares for me but I can not do all I feel He wants me to do for Him. I am an intercessor and pray for many needs but I sense His calling for more as I try to push Satan out of my life to be God’s servant and allow Jesus to use me to minister to others ! I begin my day with You girlfriends and reread through my day to encourage me . My husband will say I need to rest more but does not see my need for him to help more in our home. I will Start my day feeling strong and encouraged but my physical strength begins to waver and I pray. I thank you for your posts and thank God for a ministry I would be lost without❣️

  150. I’m all in! I want to fully and completely surrender and trust God in every part of my life – His will and His way. I don’t want to be a lukewarm Christian. I want to let go of everything that has been holding me back, move forward in courage and boldness and live like the warrior woman God has called me to be.

  151. Powerful! Such a conviction of the scorecards I keep. No more! Time to be set free of the wasted negative energy this takes from showing others Christ like love.

  152. This is a good one and one I’ve been working on it over the last months (long way to go yet, but asking for the Holy Spirit’s prompting), but also to live in joy and share the joy and gratefulness in spite of circumstances and things going around me that are tough.

  153. I’m all in! Hoping and praying to close some new accounts for my job to keep it.
    Praying for my husbands health -in mind body and soul.
    He hasn’t had a job in more than 4 years.
    The stress and bills are overwhelming.

  154. I’m all in!!! This year I am embracing the place of love, boldness, and authority that has been given to me by my Heavenly Father. I am believing for supernatural impact, unity, breakthrough, and covenant relationships that will allow me to flourish and grow as the Kingdom of God makes an impact in the Earth through me! I am giddy with excitement about it because the past 3 years have been challenging but I am sure it hasn’t been in vain! I am on a mission to make God proud!

  155. This year I need God to help me to be more confident to use my talents given by Him. As I know about them but I am usualy too shy to use them. When the situation comes i freeze and then later I know…I should aproach this person, do this, say this, why did I miss the oportunity?

  156. When I read your posts or your books, my faith is always stretched, Sharon. I’ll be mulling on this post today and asking God to help me grow in faith. I’ve chosen Psalm 138:8 as my focus verse for 2019. Every day I’m meditating on it and trusting that God will work out his plans for my life. The verse gives me hope for a year full of upcoming peaks and valleys.

  157. I’m all in! I love this idea! I have a mother-in-law who at times is difficult to love as she definitely keeps the scorecard, but I’m determined this year to look past it and make the extra effort; as well as “tear up my own score cards”. thank you for the encouragement!

  158. I’m all in! This year I will remember that I’m a child of God and that is enough, I’m worthy. I will be more confident not maybe in my appearance but in my worth as a child of GOD.

  159. It is all about the love we leave because we won’t need to take it with us where were going…there will be plenty waiting for us there.

  160. I am a caregiver to my 93 yr old mother in law. My sister in law never helps out but is always waiting in the wings to tell me how to do things. Or to crtisize me. This year I pray that the dvirecard will be forever gone. Lord help me to hold my head high and remind me why I am in this season w Mama.. Give me strength, Love and Compassion to those who throw fiery darts my way.

  161. WE ALL NEED TO BE REMINDED OF KEEPING SCORE CARDS AND HOW NEGATIVE THIS CAN BE
    FOR OUR SPIRITUAL WALK. THANKS FOR SHARING THIS TODAY. IT IS SOMETHING I NEED TO WORK ON
    THIS YEAR. I WAS JUST THINKING OF SOMEONE THAT HASN’T CONTACTED ME IN A LONG TIME AND MAYBE
    I NEED TO CONTACT HER TO SEE IF SHE NEEDS ENCOURAGEMENT NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

  162. I’m all in! This year I want to fall deeper in love with God’s Word and learn to show His unconditional love to the people I come in contact with every day.

  163. My husband and I made a New Year’s resolution this year to only be positive in our comments. So far it’s been trying but we remind each other and I believe it’s going to be a wonderful positive year.I also resolved to be in the Word each day. Reading your blogs helps me tremendously! Thank you!

  164. Oh Sharon…..I sit here, tears streaming down my face. I’ve worked so hard to stop being selfish!! But your blog helped me remember to keep working at it and that I still have scorecards in my heart to get rid of!! Thank you Sharon…as always you touch my heart and help it grow with your message!! Blessings dear lady and Happy Holidays!

  165. I’m all in.

    I prat that God will move me to become closer to trusting that all things work in his favor, and to not be led astray by fear or doubt.

  166. I’m all in!

    God’s timing is always right on! I have been dwelling in self-pity and self-centerness the past month, keeping scorecards for my adult grandchildren. Even to the point of rehearsing what I was going to say to them. I have been in prayer for two days on what to say. This morning I heard God speaking through you, Sharon, in your post, “The Danger of Keeping Score”. Thanks be to Jesus for answering and for using you! No scorecards!

  167. Thank you. As a working mom, I always knew I fell short on “the scorecard” of almost everyone. In trying to be supermom, superworker, super wife, superdaughter, superfriend, I fell short everywhere because I was too tired to be in the present. I have had to learn to forgive myself, and not to keep score on myself, but be thankful, instead, for the blessings I have. I cannot wait to be in the present this year. Thank you for starting my day in a good way with Proverbs 31. I am very grateful.

  168. “I am all in Sharon!”
    This year I would love to be able to say I have put God in the center of my life!
    Thank you for the opportunity for a book.
    Blessings,
    Amy Avery

  169. I have started this New Year 2019 praying the scripture that says “more of Him and less of me”. I am expecting great things and new ways of sharing Jesus’ love with others. Also ways to serve Him unselfishly. I have been keeping records of wrongs, OH too many!!
    I am “all in” to take hold of the faith I long for!
    Blessings!

  170. So many things in my head, I feel like I do keep score but unintentionally. I think things should be a certain way and when they aren’t I get disappointed and look at the people as if they have disappointed me instead of it just being the way it is.
    I am all in with that prayer!
    My word for 2019 is HOPE and this is helping me to get on the right track with my thoughts! Thank you Sharon!

  171. God I pray that you will take my hand and lead me forward with peace in my life. Not being scared to explore, love my new life after my 30 year marriage that was torn apart. I lost everything and have been living scared. No more! I need to let God take control and know that he will provide for me and my children.

  172. “I’m all in.” I would like to see God grow me in His love, so I can love others including those hard to love people. I want to see Him heal my relationship with my husband and my husband’s relationship with my son. I have and read your book daily on Praying for your Husband and I would love to grow more in that area. Thanks for all you posts and for sharing your own story, both have really inspired me in my walk with God.

  173. I want to become Independent again and rely solely on God like I did when I was younger. As I’ve aged I’ve become lazy and become dependent on things of this world and not God.. I need God.

  174. Very much tired of keeping scorecards. Realized I have today for someone over 20 years and it needs to stop. Thank you for your insight

  175. I’m all in! New year is a good time for a new start by tearing up those old scorecards. This devotional really hit home for me

  176. Loved the message. This message convicted me of self-centeredness with my husband. I do not want to make these choices any longer. I said the prayer and will strive and pray to be mindful to break what has become a habit.

    Thanks.

  177. I’m all in! I want to trust God more, stress less and laugh out loud everyday! I’m Mommy to 7 Mimi (step mom ) to four and foster Mom to three. I have children from 33 to 3 months. I want to gracefully walk in His glory!

  178. I’d like to say that I don’t keep a scorecard….but I do. Probably with the ones who are dearest to me. This is such a good practice…tear of the scorecard.

  179. My resolutions this year does not have to do with food even though I hope the way I pray about it I will change my eating habits as I work on cleansing my heart, mind, and soul of evil, negative and worthless mater. You can feel you have a good relationship with the Lord only to realize you have many things that hold you back from the joy you can have by cleansing yourself of things that put a barrier between you and your Savior.

  180. I’m all in!

    This year I have chosen a word to keep me on track for 2019. The word is FOCUS. my goal is to focus on God and the things He has for me. To look to Him each time I feel like giving up, or am having trouble. i have decided to start a 21 day fast, fasting from bread and alcohol, my desire for this year is to truly get closer to God.

  181. Bring me closer to God and for him to be more present in my marriage and with my kids. I hope this year God will continue to mend my marriage to be stronger, to come together as one as God has wrote in the bible. Heal me from my fears, depression and anxiety, and all my worries.

  182. I’m all in. I’m considering going on a mission trip this year for the first time. I’m 64. I’m praying that God moves me according to his will and gives me the confidence I need to do this!

  183. “I’m all in !”
    Great post to start off this new year……
    I am reminded of the need to let go of the sometimes, well honestly, usually unachievable expectations I put on others….
    and myself too !
    Thank you 😊

  184. I’m All In!
    This year, I will stop taking things for Granted!
    My health, my friends, my Children’s love, my Grand’s love, my husbands love and the Love of Jesus!
    Although I am 78 years old, I want to look forward to this year and NOT just dread the 80th year is at my doorstep!
    I enjoy your Devotional’s very much.
    B.J. Dent

  185. I’m all in! This message was exactly what I needed. I’ve been miserable and unhappy for so long and while reading this it was like I was reading about myself. Thank you so much for the message and all that you do. You truly make a difference.

  186. It’s very easy to do things for people who appreciate it and very difficult to force myself to do something for someone who thinks they “deserve” it. This was a great reminder that I need to love as Jesus loves–thanks

  187. A few months back I was shunned by a woman who I was traveling with. She up and moved from my room and moved into another hotel. This made things difficult for me since she was the person who had gathered all 13 women together for this trip. I have tried to understand this situation (and written an apology letter) and after reading your newsletter, I realize she had a scorecard. Also I believe the Lord is using this situation to examine myself where I also have scorecards toward others. Powerful! Thank you!

  188. I’m all in. My goal for this year is to grow in my acceptance of God’s plan for our place of ministry and go forward for Him

  189. I’m all in. I need to make bold decisions to go out of my way to some women in my life that need attention, love, and genuine care.

  190. I’m all in!
    The Lord has sustained me despite having a mast cell disease (that can cause daily physical challenges).
    My husband is a pastor, we have three children and I teach part-time.
    This year I am asking the Lord to use me to encourage other women with chronic illness to look Jesus to be their moment by moment grace and strength.

  191. I am all in. I had been holding on a scorecard for a few days now. It had not been the first time. My husband and I had my best friend stay over to pet sit our dog and cat while we were away for the holidays. Once we came back, I noticed everything that had”gone wrong.” First, I had put on fresh brand-new linens on the bed before we left. The bed now had bed used and our old linen was on it. Minus-5 points I had swept and cleaned everything to make sure we came home to a clean house in the new year. Well, we did not come home to my standards. The bathroom had not been cleaned and the clean floors were now a mess. Minus 10 points In fact, I found an area were our dog had made an outside mess inside that had been there for awhile. Minus another 5 points I was keeping a scorecard on everything! I had been miserable starting off this new year. My husband has been trying to cheer me up. Nothing! Fortunately, I just read your post in the nick of time. I was literally washing our brand-new now stained sheets and grumbling every step of the way when I decided to pick up my phone and read my emails. I always like reading your down to earth Christ centered post. Well, I have been hit by a Mack truck of guilt and condemnation! I was doing this! You described me! I am ashamed that I had been carrying this chip on my shoulder. I have been wallowing in scorecards for a looooong time before this happened. Please Lord forgive me. Those that are reading this…I ask for your prayers this new year to give this area up in my life. It has been affecting the lives around me and my heart. I want to be free of this and the many things I have held on to in 2019 and beyond. Thank you Mrs. Jaynes for your post. May you be blessed. In Christ Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

  192. My goal is to tear up all the score cards I’ve been keeping and to forgive anyone I think may have a score card with my name on it!

  193. I’m all in! I am committed to following God’s will for my career. I’m making a change from a career in corporate finance to one that better fits His will and the spiritual gifts bestowed upon me.

  194. I so want to live bold. I struggle every day with fear but I want to be brave. I want to turn that fear into complete faith. Please pray for me. I would love to read this book.

  195. I’m all in. I’m sick and tired of living my life in fear: fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, fear of displeasing God or others, fear that I’m not enough. So….this year, I want to let go of that fear and live boldly in the confidence that I am a beloved child of God who was chosen by God himself, and that no matter what I do, He will always love me.

  196. I love this! I am looking forward to a year of restoration and healing. Looking to let go of the things that hurt and looking for God to envelop my and my family.

  197. My husband and I had been married 47 years when he died. Our marriage was not perfect, but it was a good one. We had 4 children and 10 Grandchildren. He did not get to enjoy seeing his two Grands marry, but he was spared the divorce of his youngest daughter. Many joys he missed, dying at 73 years of age, but many sorrows he was spared. His oldest grandson became addicted to drugs; oh, this would have devastated him!
    My youngest son had moved to a small town and built me a small house behind his house, connected by a porch. It was hard getting used to a new town, new Church, and trying to make new friends. We had lived for 40 years in my previous town and I had so many ” forever”friends; most of them made at church.
    After living in my little house for about 3 years, I heard a knock on my door one Saturday afternoon. I assumed it would be my son and answered the door. Imagine my surprise when a nice looking man was standing there! He lived across the street and some of my mail had gotten put in his box, and he was returning it. I had never met him and he had on a SeaBee cap. My Dad was one of the original SeaBees, so I commented on that and we got to talking.
    Even though I was horrible looking, no makeup, hair in rollers, and had on a housecoat, he asked for my phone number. His wife had died 3 years before, and at the time, mine had died 8 years earlier.
    We started going out for dinner about once a week, went to a few movies, and even played some board games.
    I made sure everyone knew he was just a friend! I had made the comment before, I would NEVER marry again….an older man either wanted a NURSE or a PURSE! And I could not or would not be either! I also said, “if you’ve had the BEST why settle for LESS!!
    Well, I had to eat my words, because less than 2 years after we met, we were married on July first, 2017. We had a nice, simple wedding in the chapel of his church. Our children were all there and my two sons walked me down the aisle to the song “Keeper of the Stars.” (Our song)
    We feel God planned it all, and did not want us to be alone for the rest of our lives.

    1. Post
      Author
  198. I’m all in! I would like to love well this year so this was a great devotion to add to list of what living well looks like in my life.

  199. I’m all in!! I have some big goals for 2019. My word for the year is INTENTIONAL. I am excited to see how God is going to use this word to further my pursuits. I want to grow in my career as a youth librarian, I want to take bolder steps in my leadership role at church, I want to continue seeing growth in my oily business, and I want to deepen my relationships with family and friends. 2019 is going to be a great year!

    1. Post
      Author
  200. I’m all in!!

    We may have long since “torn up our scorecards”, yet many of us have people in our lives who keep score on us, and periodically like to let us know how we’re doing 😉
    I pray for victory over fleshy reactions, and that my GiGs and I will always respond with the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus!!

    1. Post
      Author
  201. All I can say Wow! I opened my email and found the topic read for today “The Danger of Keeping Score” and since 2011 to 2019 is what I’ve been doing keeping score year after year of all my casualties and misfortunes thru to the next year. I actually woke up this morning and began counting everything I could remember. It’s been eight of the worst years for me. And, my scorecard hasn’t changed. . But, this email today broke thru a wall! Thank you for putting forth your call reaching me in the darkness of this habit that the enemy has subtly planted in my path.

  202. What an excellent message because I feel that I often keep score in my marriage and sometimes in other relationships. I also feel I am more tolerant with strangers and colleagues than my family.
    My dad died on Christmas Eve and we have experienced family drama, but I know that God is a healer of broken hearts. I want to remember my dad by showing love and forgiveness to my family and others around me.

  203. Thank you for your encouraging words! I have realized lately that I have been keeping mental scorecards and knowing that this is something I need God’s help with. To let go and let God’s love permeate my relationship with others.

  204. My word to pray over myself this year is “Trust.” This year I am trusting God to heal and protect me from the almost daily hurtful comments from my mother. But who’s keeping score? God knows.

  205. I have been working on much in my life. I want to especially work on letting go and trusting God with all of my life — what I see as the big and the small — everyday. I oftentimes find myself praying asking God to keep me aware of His presence and of what his will for a situation I am in is. I want to control and push and so forth to make things happen in my time, but I know that the best way is to wait on God’s time, and that is part of what I see as letting go.

  206. I choose 2 rest in my Abba’s Loving, Secure Arms after a year filled with my hubby’s life altering stage 4 cancer, raising 8 children, Paradise fire&flood 4 my mom, battling Lyme disease myself, auntie’s stage 2 lung cancer, our pastor losing ground in battle w/colon cancer & life in general. Heaven’s gonna be SO good! He is more than able..Eph 3:20! Maranatha indeed! Lam 3:22-23

  207. I’m all in! I’d love to see God help me in my relationships. To be a better mother, daughter, sister and friend.

  208. I love your messages! A few years ago I got to meet you at the Mesa Women’s “Break Away” and now read your blog. My husband is a “score keeper” which saddens and frustrates me – but wait! Looks like I have been keeping score too. What an eye opener. Lord, teach me to love others the way you love me. Amen

  209. Sharon –

    I’m all in!

    I’m embroiled in a bitter divorce. My husband and I were married 7 years and I was blindsided in September 2016 by his unsuspected adultery. After physically assaulting me on New Years of 2016, he filed for divorce on the day my protective order was granted. We have 2 young children and this has been traumatic for them. I’m scheduled to finalize my divorce January 16, 2019 and I need to let go of how my husband failed me. Just commenting in this forrrum is freeing. Thank you for the message especially today when I needed a reminder that as much as it is up to me I must live in peace with all men. Getting my index card now!

    Be blessed and continue to be a blessing.

    ~Leya

  210. My score cards are kept on myself; did I play in the praise band this week, did I stay after for the meat and greet, did I take sermon notes and share them with someone?
    I don’t think of others that way, but I judge myself, knowing I am a child of God and bought at a great price.
    This year I pray for more love for myself and others. I want to seem more like Melanie I’m Gone with the Wind than Scarlet. Lord please fill me with your love and grace!

  211. Im all in!
    I woukd love to see God make me a better person and close the door to my past and move forward in Christ.

  212. I intend to move forward this year by praying for myself to be renewed by the Holy Spirit each time I have a negative feeling or thought about someone. I will pray for a heart of love and ask God to show me how I can better show love to the person who annoys me. With God’s help and my faithfulness to pray, I believe I will be moving forward.

  213. The Lord has really been working on my heart to let go of past wrongs and focus on loving people in 2019. For certain people in my life, this is going to be a huge challenge. So my life theme for 2019 is going to be, “See others as Jesus sees them” No way I can do this on my own, but I’m excited to see the Lord work in my heart!

  214. 2018 was a year of many challenges for myself and my family. I have noticed that rethinking the way you interact has a powerful difference on how things come out in life. God seems to have unleashed my love for others. I have been the one approaching others more. Given that I have anxiety and depression, this has always been difficult for me. I found a new church family this past year where I can just be me. My love for others is much more genuine. I need to continue my faith journey and move away from all the scorecards I have been keeping. It is amazing how easy it can be when you let go and let God. Only the Savior can be making these differences in me. Realizing I can only change ME and how I interact with others has been a saving grace.

  215. Hi , I have just recently accepted Christ as my personal Savior over the holidays. I am also in recovery from alcohol and drugs and keeping a score care is something they try to teach us not to do. It’s kind of like holding a resentment towards others. I am just beginning my life as a Christian and keeping score is something I must work on. If I hold on to these resentments and continue to hold grudges, by keeping score, I feel I will not only fail in my recovery but also as a new Christian and Believer in Christ. I pray for the Guidance and Direction to learn to live my life on a daily basis for God and to learn to be a Christian and have Him mold me into what He would have me be. Thanks for this blog today. It has really helped me in all areas of my life.

  216. This really convicted me! I didnt realize I was keeping ‘scorecards’ until I read this. I often feel ‘why should I call? They don’t call me!’ Why should I help? They don’t help me! Oh my goodness, I sound so self centered! Thank you for your words of encouragement! Now I need to pray and seek forgiveness and guidance!

  217. I’m all in. I would love for God to show me how to let go of some things to allow time for what he wants me to accomplish. Still working on the details of that with God. I am thinking a book.

  218. I have been alone for many, many years after a divorce. I would love to have a good man in my life that would share things with and love me. I’ve not had that love and tenderness even in my marriage. I’m 71 and would just like to feel what I’ve missed.

  219. This is a lesson I’ve recently gained understanding of. Thank you for the reminder. I’m all in! I’d like to see God restore my marriage this year!

  220. I’m All In I would love for God to help me be a more patient, kind and caring person so I can let His light shine through in me.

  221. I enjoy your blog AND identify so much! Today’s really hit home. I definitely need to get rid of some scorecards I’ve been hanging on to! Thank you for this eye opener!

  222. I’m ALL in! I’m making Bold Moves in Ministry this year, facing challenges that God is calling me to with courage. I’m not afraid to walk in His anointing, my answer to Him is YES!

  223. I’m all in!
    I love your blog and your books!
    It’s like sitting and drinking coffee with you, feels like you’re right here with me.
    I thank the Lord for the ladies like you that touch my life. You point out our “faults” in such a sweet and loving way!
    This year I want to get closer to God and more involved with my life group.

  224. I all in! I would like to be closer friends with God this year and to really walk in step with Him (and lose those parts of me that don’t align with His Truth).

  225. My children are missionaries in China. There is much unrest in China and many of their friends have been asked to leave the country because they believe. Tomorrow they return to China to live, and we have to pray that they will be OK and let them go!

  226. Oh my goodness. This devotion came at the perfect time, but God’s timing is always perfect. I sent an email to the man I’m dating last night about how I felt he had wronged me when we were together this past weekend. It was a small thing, but I blew it out of proportion and made a mountain out of a molehill. Then I wake up to this devotion this morning. Sometimes God can be very subtle when he’s talking to us and others he can throw it right in your face. This morning was a throw it in your face kind of thing for me. My heart was heavy about what I had written; so I forwarded to him this devotion with a note apologizing for keeping score. Almost immediately he responded back and things are looking much better this afternoon.

  227. I’m all in!
    I’m praying that God will soften my heart to love others as He does. I have built a wall and not let others in for far too long.

  228. I am all in. Last year my husband of 36 years left me for his high school sweetheart. At first I was devastated Then I began praying and drawing close to my Lord. The consequences were what I call Amazing Grace. I found myself forgiving him and her. Then came the day she came to my home and I got to share Jesus with her. No she has not accepted Jesus yet but I pray for both of them. Why some people ask is for this reason Hell was not created for man. God has blessed me with much forgiveness.

  229. Thank you for this post about letting go of scorecards and moving forward in courage. I want to be more grateful and joyful this year my words for this year: joy & gratitude). We spent last year focusing on abiding in Christ and this year our church is focusing on being sustained by God’s word, Christ’s grace and the power of the Holy Spirit.

  230. Wow. How profoundly eye opening ! I feel we are all most likely guilty of that in some aspect , even if we don’t have an actual scorecard 😉 ! What great awareness your message brings to me . I may feel I’m consciously trying to be kind to those undeserving but if I’m being honest , I know I let any lack of reciprocation bother me . Thank you ! This will definitely stick with me as an incredible reminder that it’s not about me … it’s about doing your best to do what He would do no matter what you get back 😊

  231. I’m all in! My answer is two fold. As a widow I sometimes feel that without my husband my role in the family dynamics is broken. I feel that I have to work really hard to have a place in my family. When I voice this to my children, they get defensive and point out my shortcomings. This road isn’t easy but not keeping score is the best advice you could have given me. I will just continue to love and be patient.

  232. I’m the worst at keeping a score on my brother. My mother has Alzheimer’s and he can’t find the time to call or visit. So this sets off an awful, hateful feeling that he doesn’t care. It never ends. Then I have score cards for his wife and adult children who don’t help or call.

    This has really opened my eyes at my lack of compassion. Who knows what they are going through. Instead of being angry, I plan on praying for them when they annoy me. That’s going to be a lot of praying on my part. I hope God forgives me for my awful behavior.

  233. Sharon, I’m all in!! I need to have faith and wisdom bold enough to get out of a 20+year relationship that is causing my children and me a lot of pain. It is a hard decision to make as a Christian and I need all the faith I can muster to move forward. Even if you don’t choose me for the book, please pray for me.

  234. I’m a!l in!!! I didn’t realize it but I do keep mental scorecards on people in my life. I am going to make a effort to stop doing that and instead pray for the individual. I want God to show me His purpose for me at this season in my life. I am asking for His direction and Godly wisdom.

  235. I’m all in!

    I’m praying for me to live out the fruit of the spirit and love everyone so God’s will be done on earth as it is inheaven.
    I’m starting a new job so I’m praying for God to use me as a witness.
    I’m praying too for my husband and children to be saved this year and my extended family, friends and neighbours.

  236. A paz, Sharon! Estou lendo seu livro: Sonhos de Mulher. E fui muito ministrada por ele. Que Deus continue abençoando seu ministério…👏🙌

  237. I’m All In!
    To Love as God Loves
    See people as God sees People
    Not to get stuck any where…. Keep moving forward.
    I’m not meant to be perfect or strive…. To abide in God. Be in agreement with My Father. Remembering he will use it All for my good & His GLORY💗

  238. My husband at the beginning of our marriage brought to our place with his Fathers heirlooms and then my husbands collectibles which I had in our home and then in sea trains.Through the years the cars were put on our property (20 acres.) did this bother me, as long as they stayed away from our house I would not complain. Things grew and also his calls to his Sister about her things and he wanted to talk with her.
    ….Soon what he was giving her was more. What I needed to do is really stay out completely. Once in a great while they would call and talk and sometimes with me. My husband was ill and I was to handle things. … To shorten this it ended that while my husband was ill it turned into bigger problems , I wanted to give those things up. How ever I had to be away and taken care of myself. I really blew up at a relative and boom more problems started. I have always been mostly easy going,,,,,maybe too and I had so much anger discussing things .We need to realize we can do something before the bigger things builds up and happens.
    I have gone thru the water and the flood and I am okay today. It is over and with God’s love and help I will be okay.I am away from it and I am free. I have kept track of things ignoring the symptoms in me. I have to learn to give some things u faster and not keep track any more. I really am thankful to The Lord and my children and the freedom of all the “things” that has caused havoc
    .

  239. I am ALL in! I used to keep scorecards all the time, I have gotten better but thanks for the reminder!!! I have to be less self centered and let love speak.

  240. I’m all in!

    Keeping a scoreboard surely does make a person miserable. I am praying that God will help to let go of that board, take away all the self-centeredness and put the joy back in my life.

  241. I sure need to be all in. It is so easy to fall into the human trap of score keeping instead of loving with God’s love. I am guilty of score keeping. It is often easier to show God’s love to strangers than family, because you don’t have to deal with a 40 year old score card.

  242. This was written for me today. My husband and I are separated for the fourth time. Both of us keep scorecards of the past and all the wrongs. My prayer is we both can let the past go and move forward…together.
    Bless you Sharon and thank you!

  243. I’m all in!

    At nearly 40, with 3 young kids, a loving husband, and enjoyable job, I feel a little loss as to what my goals should be. I feel that.i have accomplished all of my big life goals, but I know there has to be more.
    I pray that God reveals what He has in store for my life. It feels almost like a blank slate of how He wants to use me. I pray to keep my eyes open and be obedient to his calling.

  244. I’m all in! I occasionally keep a scorecard for my husband &, then, I realize it is my unspoken expectations that cause the problems. I recently returned to work part-time & was expecting my husband to pick up some of the household tasks I do on a daily basis. This did not happen & the mental scorecard came out along with being critical of my husband. I had some heavy duty praying to do to right the situation. Now if I want my husband to do a task I would normally do, I ask him with respect & love. Thank you, Sharon, for the wonderful reminder about scorecards & their hazards.

  245. I’m all in. I long for God to show me areas in my life where I hold back and open those areas to do his will boldly.

  246. I am 72 years old and have no close family except my neice who lives in S.C.(Her father died a month before she was born and her mother remarried when she was about 15) The last time I saw them both was 5 years ago and I want to see them soon again. I want more love from distant relatives and keep wondering what my mother was like(she died 3 weeks after I was born) My goal is to have more faith that GOD will allow me to see my neice again at least once and to have the money to do it.

  247. “I’m all in.”

    I want to be strong and courageous and keep moving forward impacting those with whom I interact to be better financial stewards.

  248. Sharon,
    I’m all in!!! I listened to 1 Corinthians 13 three times last night before bed. I’m hardly ever on here and saw your name. After seeing you in Hershey, Pa this email was a must read.
    My whole life has been an incoming and outgoing scorecard. I’m 51 and just heard an easy word from God thru you. Wow so powerful. I pray that I can remembethat simple word and live it completely everywhere I go and help others with “no scorecards”. Thank you!!!

  249. I would love to stop worrying and being anxious. I have your book Enough and will reread to start the process and I am hoping God will jump in and assist with my healing. Thank you so much for your writings and teachings!! ; )

  250. Thank you for this email. I have been reassuring my loved ones and letting them know that love doesn’t keep score and that some relationships are toxic to their well-being. We will continue to pray for the individuals in our lives that expect us to bend to their will, asking God to help them understand unconditional love in its truest form. I also pray for my family members struggling with the guilt trips inflicted by those that keep score, especially when they do not feel they have met the unknown criteria of the day. Please pray for us as we continue our journey to healthy relationships with those still having issues because we now refuse to participate in the game.

  251. Thank you so much for this challenge to not keep score! I didn’t realize that I had slipped into this habit until recently. But God has been convicting me about it, and then I read your words. Thank you for allowing God to use you to teach truth and encourage others in our walk of faith.

  252. I am all in. I want to be able to let all my insecurities about myself to move forward in God’s plan for me. To not get sucked into things of the world or have the score cards of what people do or don’t do. To be different, to show God’s love to all his people.

  253. I did that writing out forgiveness and tearing it up. it sounds like a great idea. The love chapter is all about Jesus.

  254. Oh Sharon! You hit the nail on the head. I see this so often & am guilty myself. God bless you for stepping on my toes!!

  255. I would like all false walls of self protection to come down and all that had set them up in the first place be replaced with His truth, strategies, ways and fruit!

  256. I’m All In!

    Dear Sharon,
    Thank you for your motivation & encouragement. I love you.

    The thing that I would Love most for GOD to do for me this year, is to teach & show me how to LOVE like HE LOVES. “GOD AGAPE LOVE”. Also, to be Obedient to HIM and have a very Intimate Love Relationship with HIM.

  257. God has given me the ability to forgive easily and forget almost as easily, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t times when forgiving is a little harder, or I forgive but dredge up an offense or disappointment at some convenient time. Your vivid puicture is a great reminder of how I need to mentally grab those thoughts and mentally tear them up before I start a list . Instead, I need to deliberately begin m,entally listing reasons to be thankful for that person

  258. January 1 was 1st day of my retirement from public works. I am a widow. I am looking forward to moving forward hopefully in the direction God has planned for me. I love to read and would love to read your book.

  259. I’m all in! My mental scorecards pop into my brain all of the time. It is a struggle to push past them. I like the idea of using notecards as a physical reminder to simply love like Jesus.

  260. I wrote a comment but did not see it get posted, so forgive me if this gets posted twice. God has given me the ability to forgive easily and forget almost as easily, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t times when an event cause me to dredge up an old offense or disappointment. It’s at those times I need to mentally grab those thoughts and shred them. Instead, I need to list reasons to be thankful for that person. Thank you for the powerful visual reminder.

    Nancy

  261. I’m all in!

    I pray God continues to work in my marriage, to continue to grow it into a marriage that reflects his will for our lives.

  262. This was the perfect picture of my mother. Everything was about her; her children were there to make her feel better, take care of her needs, and make a fuss over her. I learned eventually that she was damaged emotionally and did not have the ability or capacity to love or care about anyone else’s needs but her own, which were never met even if she had millions of hugs, kisses, cards, visits. It has taken a long time for me to even begin to heal from a mother like this and it has impacted my image of God who I have struggles trusting. If you do not have any love from your parents there is no conception of God deep and unconditional love for you. Through reading and studying the Bible and the Holy Spirit’s help I am slowly being healed.

  263. I’m all in. I don’t think I tend to keep score… but rereading this scripture in your post found me fighting back tears. Lord – do Your work in me.
    Love is patient, love is kind … it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4a, 5b

  264. I’m all in with God!!!
    Great article; great lesson.
    In this year, my desire is to fulfill God’s desire. I want to love like he loves, give like he gives, go where he leads me and be who he has called me to be.
    Luke 1:37
    For with God nothing shall be impossible.
    1 John 3:16
    Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

  265. I used to be like that, then I realized that if I wanted to more Christ like I would have to let go. The first person was my husband and that helped me to move forward in our relationship and not divorce. I still struggle sometimes, but for the most part I don’t keep score. I found it lightened the load I had on my heart. Please pray I will continue to get stronger with this process.

  266. I’m all in!!!
    My motto for 2019 is to “Fix My Focus”
    My verse for 2019 is Colossians 3:2 – Set your (MY) mind on things above not on earthly things
    God bless your ministry!!! I ❤️ it!!!

  267. “I’m all in!” I’ve had a difficult couple of years from going through a divorce, to having heath issues, to caring for my elderly mom who has had Alzheimer’s for 10 years and recently passed away. I’ve been dwelling in self-pity and become very critical and judgmental, not loving like Jesus at all. I resolve to make 2019 a year of REPENTANCE from my selfishness and pride and focus making Ephesians 3:12-13 “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been perfected, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have laid hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize of God’s heavenly calling in Christ Jesus” my theme Scripture. Thank you Sharon for your devotional. It has convicted me! I realized that it’s not about me, but it’s ALL about GOD! I would love to receive a copy of your book: Take Hold of the Faith You Long For: Let Go, Move Forward, Live Bold.

  268. I am so in. This has been something God has been showing me lately I just didn’t have all the right words until I read this story. Thank you for sharing it.

  269. Locking arms and all in. My husband wants a divorce. At first I asked why, he answered just because. I felt weak and so not worthy, but God has truly been a step ahead of me opening doors. Now it is time for my new journey. I’m scared, but have faith. I’m weak, but He is strong, and I’m nervous, but He is holding me up. I thank God for past, present and future blessings.

  270. I’m in! A great positive message and a good reminder to be more Christlike in every thing we do! Fill me Holy Spirit as only you can do!

  271. Self-centeredness says, “Come here and give me a hug.” Love says, “Come here and let me hug you.”

    Wow! I thought I was taking care to not be selfish. But this one steps on my toes today.

  272. HELLO GWEN i love your article about score cards It really got me thinking I AM THE STEPMOM AND STEPGRANDMOM I often fell left out at family events It is so very nice when they hug me instead of me asking for a hug WOw you have changed my outlook on things

  273. I read GIG every day, and have added many of the women’s other lessons. Thank you. I have been a faithful follower for 30+years, and thank God still growing (67 years old). I love the simple instructions of your lessons that begin with a scripture. I could possibly argue with you, but NOT with scripture. I always keep reading, I always keep learning from people who follow, and from those who don’t. Hope it’s a good year for you and yours; i know that it will be even better for mine as I tear up the score cards, and begin writing brief, but genuine LOVE letters.

  274. I’m all in! I am praying for healing and taking action of what I know God’s word is telling me this year. My husband has been the one person who has stood beside me from the day we met, loving me like no other…speaking the truth while he listens to the Lord and fights the evil I have brought in to our marriage and growing family without giving up on me.
    My life was full of lies, denying the traumas, neglect and sin laid before me to learn from as I thought all was well and perfect. It has been so difficult for me to accept this truth and change before those I love and trusted as a child. I pray for complete trust in the Lord through every little and every great thing in my life that comes each day…and to know and trust I am worth it and will share the love He explains in 1 Corinthians 13:4 with my family. To let go of trying to please and protect any sinful relationships and continue praying for those to find Jesus and follow him, in hopes to mend and heal the broken relationships in my life. Prayers to truly love as God asks us to love each and every day without keeping score or holding on to the past. To live with gratitude for the blessings I have today. In Jesus name, I pray.
    Thank you for such an encouraging message today.

  275. I’m praising the Lord that my health is pretty good for my age and I can still do for my family. It gives me such joy to be part of their lives as much as possible. I have to say that there have been times when I was guilty of being disappointed but am learning to just be thankful for the way they have blessed my life.
    Thank you so much for this devotional; its an excellent reminder that the Lord is in control.

  276. “”I’m all in.” I want to continue to be strengthened by God in my Heartache going on with my 18 yr Granddaughter being drawn into gang life . And my daughter and husband cutting us both out of their lives along with taking my other 4 granddaughters out of my life. GIG are readings I enjoy each morning. Thank you

  277. I have been there in keeping score with my love ones not meeting my expectations. I remember how self centred I was and when my spouse
    and others not meeting my needs, how I have pushed them away or hold resentment towards them .oh how miserable I was. I pray with all my heart to never ever get there again. I had to pray for my heart to change. I still struggled with this terrible habit at times. Its not a good place to be in.

  278. “I’m all in.” This December 5th my husband of 44 years felt ill and ended up in the ER. He was admitted and lots of test were ordered. The tests showed he is filled with cancer. His prognosis is with chemo he might have a year left. I would like to see God perform a miracle this year and save my husband. He is a wonderful, kind, giving and loving Christian man. This I pray.

  279. Wow…the description of keeping track of people’s faults on a scorecard hit home. I get caught up in focusing on what’s fair instead of just focusing on what God wants.

  280. I’m all in.
    Yikes. This was hard to read. Because this was me exactly this past weekend. And it’s been me most of my life. I think it’s genetic, because my mom certainly has it also. 😉

  281. I’m all in with giving my thoughts, feelings, actions and praises to Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior! I have realized as I reflected over 2018 how much God loves me and that I truely can’t do anything to make Him stop loving me. How liberating!! Grace is a beautiful thing and I hope everyone in 2019 learns that personally. They will never be the same.

  282. These are all good points about keeping score. However, there is another type of score keeping. I believe we need to learn from past issues/mistakes. When someone has lied, abused a relationship, taken advantage of someone, it should be noted so as to not let it happen again. If we keep allowing things like that, we are enabling that person to continue in sin. I don’t think that is being disobedient to the instruction to avoid keeping score, but is necessary to prevent the repetition of a sin. Love covering a multitude of sins can be to stop allowing someone else to keep victimizing us.

  283. I’m all in. My wish for the new year is that God will open my heart to prayer. Since I have become more involved with my church Satan has been trying to block me from praying. Prayer feels like a job I don’t want to do. I pray I can get through this and find joy in prayer.

  284. I’m in. Let go, Move forward, Move forward. It’s sound easy but scary too Prying for the courage and faith to do all three

  285. I’m all in. I don’t know why but I have let my faith and trust in the Lord be shaken to the core. I pray that this year will bring increase of faith in the Lord and an everlasting trust in Him. I know Gods word says He will never fail me or forsake me, I am struggling to believe it.
    I really desire a close relationship with Him.

  286. “I’m ALL in” For sometime now I’ve been feeling like I have no purpose. What I’d love to see this new year is For God to reveal my purpose in life, to show me where to go, which path to take.

  287. I’m ALL in. This year I want to reclaim myself. I have been in an unhealthy marriage for 28 years, but I continued to push on because I didn’t want a failed marriage. My husband walked in August 28th, out of the blue, and told me he wanted a divorce. I was devastated, but now I realize that God reached down and saved me. He has provided for me and strengthen me during the past 4 months. We are still in the process, but I know God saved me. I had lost myself and allowed my husband to strip me of my health, my family, my friends, and my career. I want to reclaim myself in 2019, and walk with God daily pursuing his will for my life. I know he has a better life in store for me. A life that I can be myself and glorify God for all of the blessings he has given me.

  288. I grew up under a scorecard father! I thought I hadn’t “inherited” this from him but I realize how could I not! I think the way I keep a record of the wrongs just looks different then the way my dad did. But it’s still scorekeeping! Thank you for sharing this topic and reminding me that our God has forgotten and forgiven all of my iniquities when I decided to follow Him.

    1. Post
      Author
  289. I’m all in! I need healing in my knees. During our women’s conference this year God showed me running up the stairs in our house. I’m looking forward to my healing and the day I run up those stairs! This year I want to do more for God. I want to get closer to Him. Read His word, pray more, and go to church on more of a regular basis. I do go a lot but not as much as I should so I can be there for others.

  290. I’m all in! I think many of us “score” people at times without realizing that’s what we are doing. Thanks for enlightening us!

  291. The reference to Psalm 130:3 really stuck with me. How true is it that, if I cannot stand to a record of my own sins, and am sorely in need of that loving Grace from God…how can I put myself in the judgment seat and keep a record of those I proclaim to love? I’m all in!!!!!

  292. I love what you wrote about scorecards. Its something God has been talking to me about because I have been keeping score on my teenage daughter who is so lost. I know that I was forgiven for so much and God my Father still loves me no matter what. I need to stop judging my daughter and keeping score on what she does wrong as if that helps. I want to learn to love her like God loves me so that when she come home to me I can be here to show her Gods love and mercy. I would be so screwed if God kept a scorecard on me. Thank goodness for the blood of Jesus who covers our sins. I know that my daughter doesn’t do anything to hurt me but its because she is lost and hurting. I will remember not to keep score on her anymore. Amen. Thanks Sharon.

  293. I needed to read this today. I am going to let go of keeping score. No more tit for tat. I am just going to start living like there is no tomorrow.

  294. Dear Sharon this is me!

    Not only have I kept record of all the wrongs but I have actually justify it by saying this is how I experience Love… If someone does something for me! So if they didn’t I took offence and obviously kept a scorecard!

    I can definitely testify of how miserable a life can be with keeping score cards but thank God for opening my eyes today and thank you for sharing this!

    I’m going to tear up all my score cards today!!!

    God bless you Sharon and thank you for sharing.

    Love
    Cecilia❤️🙏

  295. I’m in! This year I’d like to see myself knowing more about Jesus. I need to learn, grow & become a vessel used for Him and love as He loved.

  296. Dear Sharon, I’ve been all in for the past 34 years of my marriage. Im committed to my vow to love my husband. My faith and trust in God have continued to place my marriage in God’s hands. I read and study GIG entryway and live the biblical insight yall give us. My husband is someone who is very negative and ptss me down every time he gets upset. I do not keep score I keep forgiving. I want more faith as I continue to lift him and me and our marriage to the God of the impossible. Thank you for your blog and daily prayers, as well as GIG. I don’t do Facebook or other social media..

  297. Wow, that is funny. I was looking on Amazon, ordering books, and I put this one in my queue as “Save for Later”
    Then I read my emails, and “The Danger of Keeping Score” with how to enter to win one of the 5 book giveaway at the bottom.
    I proceeded to read the email, and I was like “Hmmm, oh that’s what my mother always does, that’s my mother, that’s my mother, oh, wait a minute… that’s me, that’s me, and Oh did I do that to my granddaughter? Sad face, Okay, I will tell her come here so I can hug you from now on” etc. etc. etc.

    Anyway, I would like to win a copy (or even 2) of this book. One for me, and one for my mother. 🙂

    Thank you God bless you.
    Carrie

  298. I’m all in! Wow I didn’t even realize I have been doing this towards friends and my husband! I need to change my ways.

  299. I’m all in! Thank you for bringing “His light” to my mind! Your message illuminated “thoughts” stored in my memory bank of loved ones or those near to loved ones that “keep score” and it was like envisioning a very strong lighting storm that has just passed but is still storming on the horizon, lighting up the entire sky as far as you can see. The wonderful aspect of your message is it broke through one of the major “strongholds” in my life wherein I can look at “scorekeepers”, including myself, as someone who needs to know the Lords’ LOVE better!

  300. I’m all in!

    Hi Sharon,
    I would like to see God bring restoration to my 8 year marriage. I’d like to see God mature me and work on me, help me deal with the life He has blessed me with. I’d like to see God help me see pass my husband’s lack of empathy or lack of emotional connection. I’d like to see God give me the right viewpoint so I can be a better wife and mother to my family.

  301. Thank you so much for your message , It really spoke to me. I was literally just feeling sorry for myself that my son and his family hadnt come over to eat my Birthday cake with me. Feeling unimportant , instead of realizing with 3 children its hard sometimes to get out. Thank you for putting me back on track with perspective . There are so many people out there with alot bigger problems and thank you for helping me to remember that…i am all in this year ! I have purchased your book , i am enough and just got it in the mail yesterday. I am excited to start reading it. Thank you and i pray God continues to bless your days and your messages.

  302. Sharon, the Lord used you to majorly convict me. After spending months mentally making a list of howbmy husband has wronged me and stewing on how I’ve been wronged, I made an actual list…a scorecard. I’m so ashamed. Like all marriages, we both have things to work on and improve. But I was so self centered and foolish, and never focused on myself. Most importantly, I never focused on loving my husband as God loves us and has commanded us.

    I teach about mindset in my job, but have been blinded to my own fixed mindsets. How sobering this post is.

    I typically am not an open person on public forums. This is a huge vulnerable moment for me to publicly post. I’m doing this as a promise to the Lord, my husband and myself to love better and stop making scorecards.

    Thank you again for sharing. Any further help or suggestions would be welcomed!

  303. Thank you for inspiring us! 2019 – I want to walk with God like Enoch walked with God – here is to pushing through to seek God more every day!

  304. Hi Sharon! Thank you for sharing your heart. I never really realized how badly I do that, but reading your post brought great conviction from the Lord. I definitely needed to hear that and I know that that is something I am laying down at the foot of the cross right now, today. 2018 brought a lot of growth and change. I look forward to so much more in 2019. I AM ALL IN!!!

  305. I’m all in !! I’m Married to what I call a ” Coffin Nailet “. This is something I knew about him when I married him. We’ve been married 27 years. A “coffin nailer “, like the score keeper, keeps tabs, on every wrong; driving a nail into the coffin until one day that coffin, or relationship is Shut.
    Two years ago, three deaths in my immediate family caused destruction in what was forever a beautiful close family. What’s left of us. The score cards have been flying, and we’ve all been guilty of this. We’re all in incredible pain. My ” coffin nailer ” husband has been the strong loving friend I fell in love with 30 years ago. Daily emails from Christian supporters has kept me going , my faith has never wavered. This post has really inspired me, thank you. I will listen to myself and my negative tone in this year ahead.

  306. This was such a great reminder. Thanks, Sharon. I especially loved the verse “If you, LORD, kept a record of sins, LORD, who could stand?” (Psalm 130:3, NIV). So thankful God still continues to pursue me and loves me unconditionally.

  307. I’m all in!this really touch my heart I have a whole note of my husband record of how he keep hurting me and claim he loves me but go about sleeping with other woman ” the verse that says if God keep record of sins who can stand” got me to my kneel am grateful God never keep records of my iniquities

  308. Greetings!

    Thank You, Lord Jesus, for using this godly lady to impact soooooooooooo many women, for You!

    I have been praying for God’s purpose for me and in the meantime, my hunger to get close to HIM intensifies moment by moment.
    I desire so much, that my life will point others to our Lord Jesus.
    Will you join me pray?

    THANK YOU, for letting our gracious God use
    you mightily for HIS kingdom.
    GOD BLEZZ YOU MUCH MORE!

    HE is coming soon..

  309. Letting go of everything that holds you back is a life long project. If only there were one book or a simple 10 step plan how easy and worthless that would be. Letting go involves struggle. It involves wrestling with God like Jacob. It involves being real with God and getting messy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *