Seeing God Through the Puncture Wounds of Life

Sharon Jaynes A Sudden Glory, Expectant Living, God's love 48 Comments

Have you ever had a disappointment that ripped your heart out? Perhaps you’re in the middle of or recovering from one right now. Let me tell you a story about one of the most difficult days of my life and how God pulled me through.

I sat on the floor playing a card game with my young son. It was shaping up to be one of the best summers ever. Steven was savoring every minute of the long hot days, our Golden Retriever, Ginger, had delivered seven adorable puppies, and after years of negative pregnancy tests and doctor visits, I had a new life growing in my womb.

In the middle of enjoying the moment with Steven, I felt a warm, sticky sensation that made my world stand still. A trip to the bathroom confirmed my greatest fear.

Later that day, as I sat in the doctor’s office listening to his condolences for the loss of this much-prayed-for child, all I could think of was God, how could You?

I drove home. Climbed into bed. Pulled the covers over my empty womb and my empty heart and cried. I was mad at God. If this is how You love me, then forget it. I gave God the silent treatment as if I could somehow pay Him back.

God and I had a lover’s quarrel that summer. Actually, I was the only one arguing. I felt betrayed by the One who was supposed to love me most. Even though I was mad at God, I knew in the deepest parts of me, that He did love me and that He was somehow going to use all this pain for good—but I sure didn’t like it.

I wonder, could the puncture wounds in the canvas of life—the losses, the disappointments, the crushing blows—actually become the rent places of the soul through which we can see God? Through which we can peer beyond our earthly trappings into glory moments where God makes His presence known? I believe they could be. If we let them.

When we experience shattered dreams, broken relationships, tragic losses, or unfulfilled longings, it can be difficult to feel God’s presence, to see His hand, and to hear His voice. Glory moments cease when we close our eyes in pain and tune out God in anger. I know that’s what happened to me.

That doesn’t mean that God isn’t there. It only means that the sadness in our own hearts has drawn the shades and locked the doors. We question whether we even want to live in union with God if this is where the path leads. We tend to wriggle out of His arms like an angry child or slip out of His embrace like a disgruntled lover, all the while hoping He will pull us back in and tell us that we have simply misunderstood.

Men and women throughout the Bible voiced their disappointment when God didn’t act as they had hoped. David cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?” (Psalm 22:1). Habakkuk cried out: “How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?” (Habakkuk1:2). Even Jesus, when he hung on the cross, did not call out the comforting words of the 23rd Psalm, but the agonizing words of the 22nd.

And while we complain of God’s silence or seeming indifference during difficult times, He is always there working behind the scenes in ways we may never understand.

Three months after the loss of my second child, I broke my silence with God and prayed a prayer similar to Elisha’s. “Oh God, please open my eyes to see Your glory in this situation. If I could just see her. Please Lord, give me a glimpse.”

And then God pulled back the curtain in my mind and I envisioned this child, healthy and whole and playing at the feet of Jesus. She was surrounded by God’s glory face-to-face. Radiant resplendent glory. Not an ounce of glory ache to be seen.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen (our circumstances), but on what is unseen (God’s presence). For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18, parentheses mine). One day, it will all make sense. Until then…we trust. And when we have the faith to keep our eyes open during the dark times, God will scatter moments of sudden glory where we sense His presence like stars in the inky sky. We hold fast and continue following Jesus—even when we aren’t sure where that may lead.

Lord, I’ll be honest, sometimes I don’t really like how my life is playing out. But this I do know, You are in control and Your ways are always good. Help me to not close my eyes and miss seeing the glory moments in the difficulties of life. I know that diamonds show up best on black velvet. Help me to see Your glory on the background of dark circumstances. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Do you long to experience God’s presence in your everyday life? Here’s some good news. He longs to speak to you even more. The question is, how do we hear Him? If you want to experience more glory moments…moments when God makes His presence known, check out my book, A Sudden Glory: God’s Response to Your Ache for Something More.

And did you know I have an app called Praying Wives for android and apple devices? Check it out!

 

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Comments 48

  1. I really need prayer right now! I am weary and don’t see a way to keep from drowning. I am tired and lonely. Please pray for me.

    1. I’m praying for you Deborah. I’m sorry you’re struggling. Regardless of the issue keep your eyes on God. He hasn’t left you!

    2. good morning deborah…i just prayed for you and will add you to my list of prayers in the mornings. i have asked God to grab you from under your arms, and pull you to the Rock that is higher, breaking the hold the enemy has on your legs, pulling you deeper into the waters where you feel you are drowning. i also prayed you would shift the weight you are carrying to Jesus, and let Him carry it for you, putting your full trust in Him. the burden you are carrying is not supposed to be on your shoulders. i pray you will let Him take it, and then feel His peace envelop you through His Spirit. hang on, Deborah! He is truly there for you, even in the silence. seen it with my own eyes.

      hope you will find comfort and strength soon!!!

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    3. Prayers sent for you Deborah. You are precious, especially to our Father. He holds you in the palm of His hand. May He breathe on you and lift you to new heights. May His strength and comfort be abundantly poured into your spirit.

    4. God is with you Deborah and is surrounding you with His love and protection. Meditate on how much the Lord loves you and is working in this time of trial. Claim scriptures, His word won’t return to Him void but will accomplish that in which it is sent. He is your lifeline.

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    5. Deborah,

      It is my honor to pray for you! I understand how you feel because I have been chronically ill for 25+ years, the last 15 of which have been very dark and excruciating. Yes, I understand! That, coupled with a lot of rejection during childhood, molestation at 9, divorce, and the knowledge of living with remembrances of shameful things I’ve done that I didn’t think I ever would or could, to name a few, cause me to be able to empathize with many hurting souls and come alongside them, offering comfort and encouragement. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you! He is the lifter of your soul. I’m afraid I spent a lot more time being angry at God than Sharon did, to my detriment. I am finally able to begin to see the dark clouds lifting, as I acknowledge that God is the only One who truly understands and can help me. So, yes, I will pray for you, and, if you feel so inclined, feel free to pray for me. The oppression has been brutal, especially the closer I get to freedom. Hang in there girlfriend; God loves us! 🙏🥰

      1. Thank you so much for all of your prayers! Please know God is so very faithful! He has renewed my peace and joy! I am praying for each of you and thank God for the blessing you each brought to my difficult time!

      2. Please know God is so very faithful! He has renewed my peace and joy! I am praying for each of you and thank God for the blessing you each brought to my difficult time! Thank you and may God bless your faithfulness to Him.

      3. Please know God is so very faithful! He has renewed my peace and joy! I am praying for each of you and thank God for the blessing you each brought to my difficult time! May God bless your faithfulness to Him.

  2. Hello, I truly thank you for sharing your testimony! And in speaking of diamonds, I want to acknowledge the (pure) gold. You know, gold shines and sparkles too. In HIS WORD HE tells us : But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. [Job 23:10 NIV] It is in this purification process where Abba meets us right where we are and elevates us to the heavenly places, where we’re seeing through HIS eyes (in the Spirit) and NOT our worldly, physical eyes,
    It is those times when we are going THROUGH, that more and more of our ministry manifests itself from Faith to Faith, Strength the Strength, Glory to Glory. He gives us what we need little by little, teaching upon teaching, precept upon precept. May God bless you and keep you ALWAYS. May God continue to protect you and prosper you, in JESUS’ MIGHTY NAME, AMEN, AMEN, AND AMEN!!!

  3. Thank you Sharon, this so encouraged me and gave me the reminder of who’s in charge and to take my mind of the situation. I’ve got to beleive God does everything for our good and he gets the glory out of any situation. I will continue and praise God for what’s comming. Thank you

  4. Thank you Sharon for your inspiring stories of faith in GOD.
    Like you …i also would like to pray what Elisha prayed that “may GOD open my eyes too to see His glory.”

    I would also like to pray Davids prayer
    ..”O why are you so downcast O my soul, put your hope in the LORD”…

    …Esau’s prayer for “GOD to bless me too O LORD”…

    and i would also like to pray Jabez’ prayer “for GOD to remove all my pains.”

    Thank you so much Sharon for your works. May GOD bless the works of your hands in JESUS’ name amen.

    Stay humble and sincere towards your calling, your passion.

    In GOD,
    Myra dela Rosa

  5. I have received this from a friend and I identify with it, i am in a class deep valley right now with my husband getting involved in immorality and drunkardness, I need God

    1. I can relate. I feel like my family situation is bringing me closer to God. Making me stronger. Godly instruction is good, my other safe place to talk and listen is Al-Anon, for family and friends if an addict.

  6. Thank you for the wonderful work you are doing and making the word of God come to life using your own life examples. I can totally relate to the message above.

    Thanks again for sharing and keep up the good work! May your ministry be blessed!!

  7. Oh Sharon. Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is definitely one of those God appointed and timely blessings. I needed to hear this more than you know. If in your using of God’s gift, when you say if only you knew you could touch one person it would be all worth it. This is the one time. Thank you! Praise God!
    I am a below the knee amputee and have been dealing with an open wound on my residual limb for just over 3 months. It was complicated by a fall followed by an infection. Now I’m looking at surgery followed by 6 weeks of healing. I cannot and have not been able to wear my leg all this time.
    Now my daughter has cut off all contact with her and my 3 grandkids. They have been my life. She was only 18 when the oldest was born and because of that I needed to take on a Nana/Mom role in their lives. I have been there for them 24/7 for all these years. My oldest granddaughter has experienced a terrible trauma and everything I’ve said is wrong. She has twisted everything I’ve said. I look at it as a Christian with mercy and grace. I believe in praying about it and how God would want it handled. That is all wrong to her. This is not the only time we’ve looked at things differently. Now she has broken off all contact with everyone, herself and the grandkids. I have been able to deal with a lot of things but this is devastating to me.
    What you have written in today’s devotion is like a breath of fresh air to me. We know that God is good all the time and He is always in control. And, we don’t know all that He is doing during these times,under the surface. We just need to trust Him! He knows what He is doing. I just pray that no matter what God is glorified.
    Thank you Sharon, my friend. You were just what I needed and God knew that. Isn’t God amazing?!

  8. Thank you for this word…
    Perfect timing—praying for Gods light to be brighter than the darkness around me.
    Blessings!

  9. Thank you for sharing this. My family and I have walked through a very dark time with the tragic loss of my father. The events that unfolded were just unspeakable. We are still picking up the pieces even a year later and trying to understand. I am so thankful my husband and I are deeply rooted in our faith because even so it takes every ounce of faith you ever had going through what we did. You have to pull from deep down. Even when it doesn’t make sense. There are things in life that happen that will shake you to your core. The word of God and his love will get us through if we just stick close to him.

  10. Thank you Sharon! Your devotions are always timely and meaningful to me! I appreciate your transparency in sharing real life struggles and victories with us! I’m struggling with grief of letting go of two estranged daughters right now. Some days I feel like I’m suffocating with worry and anxiety but I keep bringing myself back to Jesus , His word and letting go to Him! Sometimes enemies are members of our own household. They loved Jesus when they were young and were so sweet in their childlike faith. I choose to believe God is refining my heart to put Him first above all else in life through this trial! Thinking of my children has became an idol in some ways so in the midst of the estrangement, I’m pouring my life into serving Him and trusting that He is working all things out for His glory and our good. Blessings to you!!

  11. It’s been many years since the several miscarriages and a failed attempt at IVF but I was that woman that was mad at God for awhile. After time it was harder to stay mad at him and I needed his embrace and ran back to him. I still ask why sometimes but trust his ways. Thank you for sharing with us always!

  12. Thank you Sharon! I really needed this today! Sometimes when the pain is so great, I forget that God is still working, that He loves me & is not doing anything intentionally to hurt me.

  13. This spoke to my heart! Thank you for sharing your heart and encouraging us to ask and to look for God’s glory. He so loves to reveal his glory.
    I would really like to be included in recieving your blogs.

  14. This is confirmation of what the Lord has been telling me as I am in a bad situation right now in my life. Thank you Jesus

  15. Hi Sharon, I saw all those books you donated to Carol Kent to be distributed to women inmates. I am a former inmate myself, which is where I begin reading and then following the Kent’s story. What a blessing you are to so many. I just want to thank you for all the women you will touch and for always touching me.
    Signed: A grateful recovering and redeemed child of God!#!

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    3. Lilian, I feel your pain as I have been where you are. I will be praying for you and for your husband. Lean on God and I pray you have some good Christian sisters to pray with you. God is still in the miracle business and He comes through in His perfect timing. May God bless, comfort and strengthen you. In the holy name of Jesus, I pray! 🙏✝️🙏

  16. Sharon,
    Thank you soo much for your beautiful story you shared—it touched my heart and gave me real hope for my situation. There really is a way out safely to the other side. And with glimpses of glory along the way! What a deal for when we’re truly in a mess.

    I wanted to share my website with you about where I share my story of a miscarriage and resources that helped me. I literally just finished it days ago and went live with it! What timing! I pray it’s a blessing to you and anyone else! 🙏🙏🌺💗

    http://www.hopeforthehurting.online

    Thanks again, I love learning from you,
    Jadie ☺️

  17. What an awesome message
    Thank you. I do love all your messages, they are always so uplifting and encouraging.

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  18. At times it feels like He is not there,then i ask for something and He answers. I trust Him in all including children.

  19. Please pray for my household … my sons vs my husband (not their dad). It is a difficult place to be. Also, my sons were raised in church, however, they want nothing to do with it or God now. Also, my husband needs to tune up some too. Thank you in advance & God bless! Thank you Sharon for your realness!!

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