Reigniting Passion in Your Marriage

Sharon JaynesUncategorized 111 Comments

I’m writing over at Proverbs 31 Ministries today. Here’s what I had to say…

What do you do when you’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’ in your marriage? Maybe you truly adored your husband in the beginning, but now you can’t remember why. Maybe you honestly admired his finer qualities, but now you can’t remember what they were. You once appreciated his wonderful attributes, but now you take them for granted.

Between taking out the garbage, paying the bills, running the car pool, mowing the lawn, disciplining the kids and folding the laundry, sometimes the passion of marriage gets lost. It happens to all of us at one time or another. We can get so busy taking care of life that we forget to take care of love.

No one gets married to have a long list of chores.

If you’re like me, you got married because you were madly in love and couldn’t imagine life without your man! You were passionately stirred beyond belief and couldn’t wait to tie the knot and spend the rest of your days with this incredible person God had miraculously brought into your life. Maybe you still feel that way. But maybe you could use a little reminder — a re-stoking of that passion.

In the book of Revelation, God had this to say to the church at Ephesus: “I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first” (Revelation 2:4). Ephesus was one of the most loving churches in the New Testament, and yet somewhere along the way they lost that initial thrill of knowing Christ. Their love for each other and for God had grown cold.

So how do you get that lovin’ feelin’ back? God gave the church two simple steps in Revelations 2:5a, and I believe we can apply them to our marriages as well: “Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.”

  1. Remember how it was in the beginning.
  2. Return and do the things you did at first.

For most of us, the accumulation of small struggles can nibble like termites to undermine the foundation of what appears to be a healthy structure as surely as the unexpected, earth-shaking rumble of sudden disaster. And routine, even good routine, can rob us of the joy and passion of marriage … if we let it.

One day I took John’s words in Revelation to heart, and decided to “remember and return” by romancing my husband. One day I simply put a sticky note on his bathroom mirror that said, “I love you.” Another day I placed a box of Red Hot candy on his car seat with a note that said, “You’re a hottie.”

And you know what happened? Steve had a skip in his step and smile on his face. And what happened in me? I can hardly describe the love that welled up in me, as I loved my man well. Hear this … I changed! The passion was re-ignited.

I don’t have a personal story of how God took our marriage and miraculously transformed it into a storybook romance filled with white-knight rescues, relentless romance and rides into the sunset leaving all danger and darkness behind. Although our marriage has been all that at one time or another, it’s no fairy tale.

Our marriage is like a daily journal, one page after another, one day after another. I’m guessing just like yours. Some entries are smudged with tears; others are dog-eared as favorites. Some days are marred by unsuccessful erasures that couldn’t quite rub away the hurtful words said; others are finger-worn by the reading of precious events time and time again.

But on those days when I see my marriage slipping into the mundane cadence of passionless routine, I pull out my list of ideas, and put a smile on Steve’s face.

Lord, may that be my challenge today. When I see the fire needs stoking, help me remember and return. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

FREE DRAWING…Leave a comment and tell one thing that attracted you to your husband in the dating days. I’ll randomly pick one comment and send a FREE copy of my latest book, A 14-Day Romance Challenge: Reigniting Passion in Your Marriage.

Does your marriage need a little help in the romance department? Has it grown ho-hum in the daily routine? If so, it’s time to spice up your relationship and rekindle the passion with hundreds of creative ways to show your man just how much you love him.

Sharon offers heart-stirring inspiration and simple ideas that will put a smile on your husband’s face and a spark in your marriage. Get ready to…

* wow your guy with simple acts of affection he’ll treasure for a lifetime

* wake up the passion that was God’s idea in the first place

* watch your marriage grow stronger and your love grow deeper.

Take the 14-Day Romance Challenge and make your husband feel like the luckiest man on earth.


Forward to a Friend

Did someone forward this devotion to you?
Click Here to Subscribe

Comments 111

    1. Besides being very good looking and handsome, another attribute that attracted me to my husband was when I found out, only after knowing him for two days, that he was a Christian and truly loved the Lord.

  1. One thing that attracted me to my husband (that I hadn’t experienced with anyone before) was his ability to make others feel important by being genuinely concerned about who they were and what they did.

    He could easily talk to strangers and ask how they were and his way of connecting with my friends and family was seamless.

  2. One thing that attracted me to my husband, his eyes. Something so captivating was/is his eyes. We’ve been married 30 years now, and still there’s a gaze that he gives me that makes me weak in the knees.

  3. hi sis in Christ!

    thank God, u’ve been inspiring us through ur writings!

    i fell in love with my husband’s gentle amd quiet spirit.
    he has a generous heart. a giver.
    he is so well-liked by all!

    i pray each day, that God equips me to be a blessing to my husby always.

    God blezz you more, sis!!

  4. I have a huge smile on my face as I write this. In the beginning, I fell in “love” with my husband wearing his Cowboy Hat. So handsome! Plain gorgeous!

  5. I met my husband in an airport. What first attracted me to him was the way he listened….at first, then he fell asleep on the plane ride home and I chatted with his friend for the rest of the flight 🙂. That was 25 years ago and he is still listening well! I am always looking for ways to improve my marriage. I would love to read your new book. Thank you for this opportunity to win a copy.

  6. While dating, I would receive pink post it notes – in the mail, stuck to my car window, hidden in the closet – notes placed in random places left to remind me I was loved and being thought of that day. Each message would be a positive note to wish me a good day or tell me something my Prince Charming liked about me or even a note to just remind me that he was praying for me. He would even scan pink post it note messages into email messages and send them to me. On our wedding day, he left a pink post it note message for me to find as well. To be remembered in such a simple, creative, consistent way was endearing and made me feel very special.

  7. My husband was very funny, and a hard worker. We met at work, and I noticed right away what a hard worker he was, and how dedicated he was to his beliefs.

  8. It was love at first sight. I saw him riding around in town and I had a different feeling come over me that I had never had. I would love to read your book. I’m totally devoted to my husband, but now it seems more like we’re roommates. We’ve been married 26 years.

  9. Hi Sharon
    You seem to share what I need everytime. At the moment my marriage is going through some tough times and would definitely do with some much needed reigniting.

    The one thing that really attracted me to my husband earlier in our marriage was that he was a very gentle man.


  10. When we dated, my husband would always put me first (above worldly things) and still does a great job of letting me know he loves me. The mundaneness really lies with me. The rote day to day busyness of life is overwhelming and it’s hard to fit in time as husband and wife after 17 hours of daily life, kids, jobs and chores! Looking forward to finding ways to be intentional in my love for him!

  11. In the early years of our courtship and marriage my husband and I would celebrate the anniversary of our first date every six months. We would take turns planning a romantic surprise. We just celebrated our first date anniversary January 15th. Our first date was 40 years ago!

  12. In the beginning it was amazing! All we wanted to do was be with each other. But, that all has changed drastically. I’m at a fork right now. Trying to decide if it’s worth saving.

  13. He treated me special; a simple kiss on the cheek or on my hand “like a lady”. I felt adored and still do after 46 years!

  14. I would have to say that what drew me to my husband was how he loved me despite my flaws, my messes and my failures. He’s always accepted me for who I am and I don’t think I’ve appreciated him for that enough.

  15. I will never forget his kindness. He had such a different personality from other people in my life at the time we met. He was a Christian, and I was searching! He had a genuine way about him. He wanted to do nice things for me, and expected nothing in return. I felt like he was too good to be true!

  16. When I first met my husband 10.5 yrs ago, the sparkle in his eyes and the generosity of his heart is why I fell in love with him.
    For the past year, we have been trying to reignite this passion, just seems to be taking a bit longer than I had hoped for. I would love to read your book as your book Praying For Your Husband From Head To Toe really did save my marriage!

  17. What attracted me to my husband was his kindness. And I’m still so thankful for that in his life and our marriage.

  18. My husband is a hot cowboy and the night we met it was definitely his cowboy hat haha and his confidence. I’m a shy person so we mesh well together.

  19. Sharon…. I am part of your launch team! Love, love, loving the challenge. Just the little things I’ve done daily make a difference. I just try to think of something that makes me happy when its noticed by others….the things I did when trying to get his attention when we met. One thing I think I need to work on is taking time for my appearance. I get done up for work…. Now that I’m not working its sweats, no hair or makeup done….what’s that tell him. I would have died for him to see me like this when dating! I think I just need to make sure he knows I want to be appealing to him that way too. Its not what he fell in love with…my appearance….but when I take time to look nice just for every day…. It says I care! Blessings to all the lovely ladies who spoke of their troubles/struggles in the comments….I’m praying for your relationship.

  20. I was first attracted to the way my husband sincerely listened to me and made me feel I was the most important person around. He was my cheerleader so to speak. I’d never had that before.

  21. Why is it the woman’s responsibility to ignite the marriage and take care of the relationship aspect of it? For years I’ve done the things you’ve mentioned above and so much more. Unless I was doing them they weren’t done in our marriage. I’ve stopped and now their are no date nights, romance, and I don’t even like my husband.

  22. This was a great article I believe that this could apply to husbands as well as wives. I know there are times that I tried to reignite the passion I get no response back or I feel like I’m always the one that’s trying
    I want to feel like the beautiful sexy woman that he married almost 10 years ago

  23. One thing that attracted me to my husband was that he was clearly his own person. He was 34 and I was 26. I looked up to him, and I knew that we could both be ourselves without trying to become someone else just to impress each other.

  24. At first, it was his intensity, but then I heard his laugh. It was unique and infectious. I knew I wanted to share in more events that would bring out that laugh. Thank you for the reminder to look back!

  25. He wore amazing leisure suits which were very popular back in the late 70’s…sooo handsome! Now it’s hilarious to me that pure polyester could have made such a fashion statement! But we are very happily married and will celebrate 40 blessed years on November 11, 2017. Praise God for his faithfulness!!!

  26. My husband is your story book description of a prince, tall, handsome, great tan, and muscular. What attracted me to him though, was the way he listened, to me or anyone else who was talking. He still listens in that same manner and I’ve noticed over our lucky 13 years of marriage, that others seek him out for that same quality.

  27. Love love love how hard my man works for his goals, and the way he can remind me to cast my anxieties on the Lord. His gentleness speaks volumes to my soul ❤️

  28. One thing that attracted me to my husband was that we really enjoyed talking with each other and he actually listened to me and respected what I had to say! I was dating another man when I first began dating my husband and that other man did nothing but talk about himself– and when he was done talking about himself it was if he said ” ok– enough about myself– now you tell me what you think of me” LOL So thankful God brought my husband into my life!!

  29. One of the very first things that attracted me to my husband are his gorgeous, gorgeous blue eyes…the color blue that only a Creator God could come up with……I still love looking deep into them today!!!

  30. good to be reminded that my husband is a Godly man. God clearly called us to be married and after 26 years, we are looking at a new chapter. He loves the Lord and is tall with beautiful blue eyes.

  31. Our first date was October 10th. 27 years ago! He showed up on my door step with a pumpkin! I was a school teacher and he thought I would like it. Little did he know, that his pumpkin let me know that he was thinking “outside the box” and I was smitten by his cleverness and thoughtfulness!

  32. My sweet husband of 34 years, while we were dating would take me to Dairy Queen almost every Friday night to get a hot fudge sundae. He didn’t have much money in those teen and early 20 years, but he knew how much I loved chocolate, so we would splurge on a sundae. Also, every Valentine’s Day he would give me a box of Russell Stover candy — for me better than any roses — he still does it to this day!!!

  33. My husband can make me laugh even when I am extremely mad at him. He makes me laugh by some dumb word or jesture and I simply cannot stay mad ar him. I love this man and I definitely believe God made him to fulfill my life.

  34. Your passion for reigniting passion in marriage speaks right to my heart. I will be sure to put your book on my list, as I fight the good fight to honor the blessing of marriage that God has given me.
    Thank you for your faithfulness to write this message.
    Happy Tuesday!

  35. I was very attracted to the hard-working dedication of my man. As time went by I started resenting the work and seeming lack of attention. We have to be grateful for the God-given traits of our men, even if they get out of balance. Every bad trait can be rooted in a good one if we pay attention. Pray that God takes the character traits and brings them into balance to glorify Him, and be grateful.

  36. We dated long distance for 14 months, and I so admire that he always kept our “phone dates” (yeah…back in the late 80’s…that was a thing!) as a priority. God allowed our relationship to grow deeper as I’m not sure it would’ve had we lived close by. Our marriage had a powerful foundation!

  37. Really needed this today. We have really been struggling, and I have been praying about our marriage. Thank you for this message.

  38. What attracted me to my husband was his caring attitude. He made me smile even when I didn’t see anything to smile about.

  39. One thing that attracted me to my husband was the way he treated his mother. He joked with her, helped her, held the door for her. I heard from others how he had stood by her when his father died and was there for her. I wanted a man to treat me like that.

  40. My husband and I are 2 years apart, which means he graduated 2 years ahead of me from High School. He supported me in the the things I still wanted to do in school, even though he was no longer there.

  41. What attracted me to my husband in the dating days (besides his beautiful face – he looks like the lovechild of johnny depp and keanu reeves), were his hugs. To this day being in his arms brings me peace. When everything around me is crazy sauce, just being held by him makes everything better.

  42. Hi!
    When my husband was introduced to me in our primary years, i knew then that i will end up with him regardless and inspite of everything & anything. I don’t know how, when, why – but i knew we will end up together. Indeed, we are!
    I knew, feel and saw how he and is still – a leader, lover and responsible @ that.

  43. One thing that attracted me to my husband was his gentleman, tender character. We were in high school 53 years ago & I didn’t meet anyone with those characteristics back then. He still has those characteristics.

  44. Hi!
    When my husband was introduced to me in our primary years, i knew then that i will end up with him regardless and inspite of everything & anything. I don’t know how, when, why – but i knew we will end up together. Indeed, we are!
    I knew, feel and saw how he and is still – a leader, lover and responsible @ that.

  45. His combined intelligence and humility. My husband is very smart but never makes anyone around him feel inferior. He values all people. He has a heart for special needs kids and even worked at as a camp counselor for special needs camps when he was a teenager.

  46. He talked to me. And when you are in high school and have a guy who will take the time to actually talk, you’ve got a keeper. 30+ years later, he’s still mine.

  47. From the very start, I felt so comfortable with him. I could be open & myself with him. I loved that he would put me over himself. If he only had $1, he would rather use it on me & him do without. We were both “big kids”. We would have THE MOST fun. Laughing, talking, & joking. Just hanging out at home. But, I do believe the thing that I have & will always love the most about him is the fact that, no matter what, he would always be there, sticking around, not giving up on me.

  48. I remember the twinkle in my husband’s eyes when we first started dating. And, he still has that twinkle 36 years later. Lucky me!

  49. What attracted me to my husband in the dating days was his sweet smile (he has big dimples), his gentle nature, and that he loved life, always the life of the party or the center of the crowd.

  50. When I first met my husband, I thought I was smart, addressing him with a Russian greeting I had just learned. He answered in Russian and tried (very unsuccesfully, I confess) to engage further knowledge of that language. Then he asked me to go hiking on our first date. His love for the outdoors (simplicity, in general) kept me interested.

  51. His steadfast stability and fearlessness, his integrity was amazing and he was not afraid to stand in the face of fire for God or me or anyone.

  52. He was a really good listener! And I was and still am a really good talker!!! He was 10 years old and I was six years old when we first met!! In our backyards! Also, as we both “grew up”, I watched him with the neighborhood kids, how he would play with them and I remember thinking, he would be a really good father! And he is. Our children are both grown, but he plays with the children at church just like he did way back in the day!! Totally awesome and probably why we will never be old. Our age may keep creeping up, but we love kids and it keeps us young!

  53. What a attracted me to my husband was his sense of humor. No matter what was going on he could always make me laugh. And to this day 40 years later he still can make me laugh.

  54. He was a perfect gentleman and didn’t even expect a kiss goodnight. We were 18 and 19 years old and it was very unusual to find a gentleman at that age. I knew I wanted to marry him after the first date.

  55. We’ve been married 44 years and the one thing I will never forget is the night he walked up to me and said ” you look like you need to be kissed”. It was embarrasing when he told that to our g4own sons but it was the one comment that started a great relationship!

  56. His kind green eyes, I knew from our first date he was the one. That was 39 years ago and I would say yes all over again…

  57. He was just so fun to be with!! We have many things in common, and back when we were dating, we both loved to go to used record stores (yes, that’s how long ago we dated, over 25 years ago!! ☺), and afterwards go out to dinner and just really enjoy each other’s company! 💕

  58. When i first met my husband, he was teaching bible study. i knew that he was the man for me. I thank God for 40 years of marriage.

  59. I was attracted to my husband’s way of not acting like anything he wasn’t. You get what you see with him. He is a good man with a great God!

  60. I knew him several years before we started dating, during which he always made a point to talk to me any time he saw me, even if it meant making a u-turn in traffic. I loved how special he made me feel. This past May was 8 years of marriage for us, and around the time he stopped trying to make me feel special. We are currently separated, and I pray constantly for God to bring us back together. I love him more than I ever have, and I’m waiting on him to come home.

  61. His sense of humor. I am a more serious person, so I definitely need his sense of humor. He also is very good at organizing things.

  62. My husband is my high school sweetheart. We have been married 33 years and in the beginning it was the wrangler jeans and cowboy hat. We would always go two stepping on friday nights. Now it’s his gentle spirit of wanting to help someone in need and his love for Christ.

  63. Loved this message today. My husband wooed, and continues to woo me, by his attention to detail. He notced the freckles on my lips on our first date and he notices little things even 17years later that make me smile. I would love to have a copy of your book! Thanks so much!

  64. My husband has always made me laugh! To me, that is the best characteristic in a husband! He is amazing and after 20 years he is STILL making me laugh. He makes LOTS of people laugh! He is good looking and caring and all but making people laugh is the best. Not everyone can do that. He surely does!!!

  65. In the beginning I was attracted to my husband’s outgoing and carefree personality. He gave me a bit of freedom and bliss in my structured and ‘Make a plan, work the plan” life style. We’ve been married 30 years, but the past 10 years have been struggle. He has had a non-cancerous brain tumor, men’s breast cancer, a chemical imbalance in the brain, and has ended up on disability. We still love each other, but the struggle is real. He is no longer the happy-go-lucky man I married.

  66. The first thing I noticed about my husband was the way his smile reflected in his blue eyes. His eyes continue to reflect his smile, but also his love for me and Jesus. Thank you for your words of encouragement!

  67. Above all else, he chooses to be kind- no matter the circumstance. That melts me in any trial or “tough moment.” He has 4 brothers and it showed me he would carry through the years ahead!

  68. He started working at my place of employment…I thought, “What a fox!!” It was 1989 and I could say that back then. Lol!

  69. Going back to the beginning is hard…I do love my husband and I know he loves me. He just treats me like a burden so much and I wonder if I treat him with the honor due him. I look forward to your study.

  70. Hi Sharon; my mom noticed your last name as it was her maiden name. I looked u up and am so blessed at what I have been reading, tx! This will b my 15th anniversary this yr w/my husband. We haven’t had a very good marriage. I am praying for an excellent marriage. God has been dealing w/my heart the last almost two yrs which included challenging health. I feel that he is now leading me to take back my marriage. The thing that I was attracted to my husband was his heart that desired for Christ to b # 1. However, like me had struggles; so I could relate to his imperfects, yet a u yearning for Christ. I loved the fact that he had a confidence about him that nobody or anything could shake as he had an identity n Christ. He didn’t “need me” or anybody else.

  71. My first thought when I met him was “wow, his eyes are so blue” then after we started dating I felt very safe and loved by him… We have been married for 39 years!

  72. The first thing was his faithfulness in church, his determination when he asked for my number…my reply I don’t have time for a man in my life (I was a widowed mom with 5 children), he left with my number. And most of all as we continued talking, I said to him can’t you count…I have five children. He simply replied yes and I beieve that the Lord is giving me a second chance and just as missionaries have a calling…I believe this is what the Lord has for me. He has been a wonderful husband and father to my.. i mean our children. There are hard days we are not perfect but we are loved by God and each other.

  73. What attracted me to my husband, besides his good looks, was the fact that he could always make me laugh, and he treated me like a real queen. 😇❤️

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *