How Long Am I Going to Be Mad About It?

Sharon JaynesExpectant Living, Identity in Christ, Living Fully, Perspective, When You Don't Like Your Story 80 Comments

I was really upset with her. I don’t need to tell you the details because I want you to fill in the blanks yourself.

I was really mad at _______ for ________. I’m not worried about you not having anything to put in those blanks because you’re human. We’ve all been really irked at someone for hurting our feelings, hampering our plans or a whole lot worse.

There were two brothers in the bible that had a falling out: Easu and Jacob. Esau was really angry at his younger brother, Jacob, for stealing his birthright, aka, his inheritance. That was a lot more than hurting his feelings.

After Esau realized Jacob had tricked their dad into giving Jacob the blessing that was his birthright, Esau pleaded, “But do you have only one blessing? Oh, my father, bless me, too!” Then Esau broke down and wept.

Finally, his father, Isaac, said to him,“

You will live away from the richness of the earth,

and away from the dew of the heaven above.

You will live by your sword,

and you will serve your brother.

But when you decide to break free, you will shake his yoke from your neck.” (27:38–40 NLT, emphasis added)

We don’t know much about what went on with Esau between the time his brother fled to Haran and the time Jacob returned home to Bethel. We do know that Esau did not like his story.

But something happened in Esau’s heart over the next twenty years. He went from vowing to kill his brother (Genesis 27:41) to embracing him when he returned (Genesis 32-33). I’m sure it was a process, but it started with a decision.

Let’s go back and look at Isaac’s words to Esau: “But when you decide to break free, you will shake his yoke from your neck” (v. 40 NLT emphasis added). The AMPC translation says, “break loose.” The Hebrew word translated “break loose is paraq, which also means deliver or rescue.

When do we break loose from the yoke of unforgiveness that wraps around our necks and weighs on our shoulders? When we get restless and decide to break free. That’s when our stories will take a new direction.

I can assure you of this, the devil does not want you to break free from the weight of the past. He wants you to wear the yoke of bitterness and resentment for the rest of your life. I can envision him polishing the yoke with a fresh coat of remembrance so shiny he can see his reflection in the surface.

Paul wrote, “And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes” (2 Corinthians 2:10–11). And what are these schemes? To keep us stuck in a bad story on a dog-eared page of unforgiveness. What is God’s ultimate best? To set us free from the burden of resentment so we can write a new ending to our stories.

It was Esau’s decision to forgive that set both brothers free. Esau was free, and he set Jacob free as well. At the time of Jacob’s betrayal, I’m sure Esau thought he could never forgive the offense. But grace takes what is impossible with man and makes it possible with God.

So, for you and for me, it’s time to decide. Will we let go of the anger or hang on to the offense? Will we stay mad or simmer down? Will we shine that yoke clamped around our necks or sever the clasp with the cutters of grace and break free?

Interestingly, today, rather than a yoke of unforgiveness around my neck, I wear a cross…the symbol of God’s ultimate forgiveness of me.

Heavenly Father. ________ hurt my feelings and I have been holding a grudge for long enough. Today, I’m making a decision to set myself free from the yoke of bitterness. I’ve got the key in the shape of a cross. I’ve got the power in the form of the Holy Spirit. I’m deciding, right now, today, to let the offense go. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Is there someone you need to cut loose today? A yoke of bitterness you need to cut loose to live free. Let’s do it together. Leave a comment and say, “I’m letting go of bitterness against the person who hurt me today!

Digging Deeper

When You Don't Like Your StoryWhat if your worst chapters could become your greatest victories? I know that they can!

When You Don’t Like Your Story, challenges us to ask: What if God doesn’t want us to rip out our difficult stories but repurpose them for good?

In fact, the worst parts of your story might just be what God uses the most. So sink deep into God’s life-changing truths. The next chapter is just beginning. Includes an in-depth Bible study for individuals and groups.




© 2023 by Sharon Jaynes. All rights reserved.

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Comments 80

    1. I give up the resentment against the person hurting me today n pray that God will give me strength to forgive n forget, in Jesus name.

    2. Dearest Lord Jesus,
      I’m releasing all the hurt caused by Karl. May God bless all his days and help him to change his ways. Remind Karl today and everyday of your love, grace, mercy and forgiveness that comes in trusting you! Lead him to a strong faith in you, Jesus!
      In Jesus Name I Pray!

  1. So inspiring to hear the words,” when you decide to break free, you’ll shake his yoke from your neck”. We are not helpless, victims too. Emotions and pain. We can set ourselves and our offenders free by the decision to forgive, with God’s grace! Thank you for teaching this to us!

  2. What a relief! I don’t recall ever seeing anything about what Esau went through while Jacob was being cheated, much as he had cheated Esau. This is a real wake-up at 0349. No one ever mentioned that Esau made a decision. I can only remember one sermon on how it was my decision whether or not to let someone else control my life, by my not forgiving them. What power to give someone you don’t even like! Even if only for a moment.

    Esau actually made the decision not to spend his life and his energy hating his brother because his brother was a liar and a cheat. As his father told him, he was the one who would have to “break free.” He would have to decide not to let Jacob determine his life, by breaking free. Free of the anger, the hate and the regret. Esau attended Jacob’s property and wealth. The honorable thing. We have to choose. Really. It is up to us. Wow.

  3. Thank you, this is so what was on my mind though my words I could not find as well as yours. Yes I have held on to a bitter last relationship though I knew it best to leave. Thank you for todays lesson

  4. I am letting go of the hurt and unforgiveness against the persons that have hurt me for too long! Thank you Jesus! ❤️🙏

  5. Thank you for this eye opening story of Esau. It helped me to begin to let go of the hurt I experienced once again with a close friend. I am breaking free.


  6. What Jacob did was wrong and it was an injustice to Esau. Esau ultimately didn’t take revenge, as Jesus didn’t take revenge on the people who unjustly treated Him. Therefore, I relinquish taking revenge on the injustices done to me.

  7. This was great everything about the message is what I needed today. I also didn’t know that Esau forgiveness worked for him and his brother.

  8. I am letting go of the bitterness against the person that hurt me today, in the name of Jesus, amen. I love the imagery of a cross shaped key to unlock the yoke with the power of the Holy Spirit. No more polishing that heavy yoke with recalling the offense! Thank you for this inspiring devotional.

  9. I have let little pieces go but I need to let it all go. The hurt from children who walked away from our family for no reason. Never saw this response from Esau. Powerful.

  10. Wow! Beautiful words from God via Sharon this morning!!
    Thanks again for being sensitive to the Holy Spirit.
    Through my tears I’m choosing to forgive.

  11. I am letting go of the bitterness against those who have hurt me. In the mighty name of Jesus Thank you for the gift of love for others and improving my attitude

  12. Today, I let go of the resentment, pain and bitterness against the persons that hurt me.
    I’m tired of wearing this yoke. I choose to forgive. LORD, help me forget. in Jesus name. Amen

  13. Wow! This is what I needed to hear today! My husband and I are starting the foster care process. We’ve been respite for two teenage girls that have went through some horrific things. I asked the younger one to take out the trash and she refused and started calling me awful names. This really hit me hard to the point where I didn’t care to ever see these girls again. This story reminds me of the importance of Grace because our Lord gave it to us, so we need to give it as well. Thank you!!

  14. God sure does speak to us .. I laughed when I began reading this because I just went through trying to define this story for someone who became stuck on Esau’s losing his birthright as the focus; she missed that it led to forgiveness and reconciliation.

    It’s two days later and I can now share this, because only God could find a way to point out that it’s the forgiveness that matters..

  15. I let go of any and all offenses of bitterness and hurt from others to me. I pray for them to come to know Christ Jesus as I do.

  16. Thank you so much for this. I have struggled so long with unforgiveness. So much so that it has caused my marriage to suffer.

  17. Thank you Jesus for helping me to let go
    of the bitterness that I hold against the person who has hurt me today. With your mighty power I can do this! Thank you Jesus for filling my heart with love and peace!
    God Bless you all sisters in Christ💟

  18. I repeatedly allowed someone to betray my trust and use me. I was seeking acceptance and longing to belong in relationship with someone who was not for me. I Forgive them and I thank them for lesson. Thank the Lord for not letting a-lot of things in that situation not be so. I’m Thankful for the rejection that ultimately set me free of them. I let it go in my thoughts and in my heart.

  19. I believe there is a category of offense that needs a bit of clarification when it comes to forgiveness – abusive behavior.. Even when forgiveness was issued, Esau and Jacob did not ‘live together’ – Gen 33:12-18.

    I can forgive ‘anything’, but I cannot live with ‘anything’. Paul said, “as much as it lies within you, be at peace with all men”., or “ Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.” Ro 12:17-19 MSG.

    “If you’ve got it in you.” – Sometimes abusive behavior beats the willingness to live side by side right out of you. The knowledge of continued sin – a pattern of sin – should be heeded. You can still forgive from a distance. Forgiveness does not always result in reconciliation, but still powerfully roots out bitterness.

    I speak from experience. Widowed after 32 years, I remarried. Abuse showed up within 6 months. I endured the cycle for 14 years before divorcing. It became obvious after 3 1/2 years of professional Christ centered therapy – the only way to end the cycle, was to end the marriage. After 2 years of healing, I wanted to see if our relationship could be redeemed. There seemed to be humility and sorrow over the cycle of abuse, so we remarried. Within 6 months the cycle resumed. It is now 2 years after remarrying. I am once again at the threshold of ending the marriage. It is sad, but true…it doesn’t ‘lie within me’ to live with my husband anymore. I still love and forgive him, but will not live with him. I will not be bitter.

  20. I am letting go of church hurts and hurts from family plus my wrong choices in life. I choose forgiveness and trust my Lord to bring healin because no real healing comes without forgiveness🙌🏻Thank you for these truths I received today❤️🙌🏻✝️🌈

  21. I want you to know sister that this email came at the perfect time offense comes almost suddenly in my life. And I don’t want to be not walking in the love walk towards others. I know the Lord forgave me for so much and knowing that I will forgive and I will let go of the hurt and bitterness today of those that had hurt me I am choosing to forgive and pray for them and bless them in Jesus name Amen. ✝️🙏

  22. I choose this day to release the hold my unforgiveness has had over me, and I relinquish all of my feelings of resentment, bitterness and pain to the only One who can remove the yolk that these feelings have had over me. I choose to, now, break free from this hold, and, instead, see my circumstances as “God ordained” and, therefore, see my circumstances as a necessary part of God’s perfectly orchestrated redemptive plan!

  23. I let go of all resentment and bitterness in Jesus name today! I release the person who hurt me and pray Gods restoration in relationships❤️🙏

  24. Every time I feel peace about this situation where I was horrifically victimized, a new punch gets thrown. I know it is merely the scheme of the devil. I’m letting go of bitterness against the person who hurt me today!

  25. We need to forgive others as Jesus forgives us. We are meant to share the gift of forgiveness, and what a gift it is-because as we forgive our hearts our changed and even if the person never knows that gift was given to them, we are set free and look more
    like our Lord…truly a gift to gladly give.
    Thank you for this reminder today. It doesn’t have to be big events or large hurts that we can apply this. The yoke is shed every time we let the hurt of something go and live in the grace and share it as well.

  26. Our Lord has worked in my heart to not hold on to bitterness and anger against my exdaughter in law who has told lies against my son and now his children will not see him or our family. I am praying for her salvation, letting go and letting God!

  27. I pray for the freedom from bitterness and resentment for the injustices of the one who hurt me, deeply emotionally, and the residual effects, that I won’t look back at times over my shoulder into the past, but look ahead and continue looking and walking forward in the light if Jesus our Savior, In Jesus name, Amen.

  28. Thank you for this message. It was exactly what I needed today. I’m feeling at peace after letting go this afternoon.

  29. Although I have heard the story of Jacob and Esau numerous times I’ve never read Gen. 27:40 from the AMP version before, what especially stood out to me is “when you break loose [from your anger and hatred],That you will tear his yoke off your neck [and you will be free of him].” That is so true, as long as you hold onto anger towards someone you are never free of them.
    So today: “I’m letting go of bitterness against the person who hurt me today!

  30. I am letting go of the bitterness I have against the woman who hit my husband with her car. I give to Jesus my heart and ask Him to take this yoke of bitterness off of me. While my dear sweet husband is no longer here, I know he is with Jesus. In order for me to move forward, I release the hurt and ask Jesus to heal my heart.

  31. I’m letting go of bitterness and unforgiveness against my siblings who hurt me.
    Help me God to extend your love and grace to all my family members.
    Let your love overflow and I will live victoriously without bitterness, unforgiveness, and grudges in my heart.

    Thank You, Lord, for this reminder.
    I can forgive because I am forgiven by a gracious and loving God.

  32. I let go of the hurt, the lies, betrayal by a very person I trusted. Lord, please help us both to let go of the yoke of bitterness. I choose to forgive and let go because of your example, Lord. In your powerful and precious name I pray Lord Jesus, Amen!

  33. Right now, by the help of the Holy Spirit I am letting go of bitterness and unforgiveness against the person who hurt me in Jesus name. Amen.

  34. I am letting go of a grudge toward someone for hurting me mentally and emotionally the power of The Holy Spirit in Jesus name I declare victory over bitterness and deceit and lies Jesus Heal my wounds and cover me and the other person in your blood and in the truth of your light Amen protect me from the snares and guide my tongue to speak when needed Amen

  35. I thank you Lord for todays word and scripture. I am free and have forgiven my best friend who hurt my feelings back in August. Yes, I have cleared my heart of any bitterness and will continue to pray your Holy Spirit remain within both our hearts.

  36. I read everyone’s comment & agreed with each of you for freedom!
    God bless you.
    Towards the end of reading, I could see that my own anger has only been hurting myself…
    I pray that I can strengthen my mind, to overcome high expectations I have put on others.
    May I find freedom from restricting my anger on other’s, and stop my stalling of Gods generous flow to move on with grace and keep moving forward…
    (And I pray for Armor to shield me from allowing others to harm me.)
    Grace to us all- thank you Sharon for bringing us together in healing!

  37. I am letting go of bitterness and resentment against so many family members who hurt me repeatedly. I’m laying it at the foot of the cross and leaving it there!

  38. I’ve let go of all hurts and wounds from family members. I never wanted anything to come between my Lord Jesus and me. Unforgiveness is one horrible thing. Besides, it weights alot! Today, I’m traveling to a women’s retreat with 2 of these family members. God is so Good because He SO loves us. Amen!

  39. Juselda
    October 9, 2023, AT 11:35 AM

    I Let go of all the hurt and bitterness from family members and my Children and gave all the hurt to
    Jesus as I asked the Lord to teach me how to forgive those who hurt me

  40. Dearest Lord Jesus,
    I’m releasing all the hurt caused by Aj. Forgive me for judging him harshly, punishing him, and having evil thoughts towards him. Forgive him because he knows not what he did. May God bless all his days and help him to change his ways. Remind Aj today and everyday of your love, grace, mercy and forgiveness that comes in trusting you! Lead him to a strong faith in you, Jesus!
    In Jesus Name I Pray!

  41. I’m releasing all bitterness, anger & unforgiveness I have towards everyone who ever hurt or offended me, by the power of the Holy Spirit.

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