When Comparison Kills Confidence

Sharon JaynesExpectant Living, Identity in Christ, Living Fully, Take Hold of the Faith You Long For, Uncategorized 8 Comments

If there’s one thing I know it’s this: The measuring stick will get you stuck! Comparison is the devil’s tool that has kept many of us gals from stepping into our God-given destinies…and it’s time to stop!

You know I’ve been camping out with Moses by the burning bush for over a year while writing Take Hold of the Faith You Long For. When we meet up with Moses in Exodus chapter 3, he is an insecure, stuttering, recluse. He argues with God, tells Him that he is not a good speaker, and strongly suggests He picks someone else for the job of delivering the Hebrews from slavery.

But, Moses hadn’t always been so insecure. Look what Stephen said to the Sanhedrin: “Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in speech and actions” (Acts 7:22). He was powerful in speech? That’s what The Book says.

So what happened? Moses failed and bailed and ran away to Midian.

Thought he deserved to be there.

Got stuck there.

He forgot his pre-ordained preparation and his God-given ability.

Oh, I wish I were sitting right there with you and we could just chat and throw around ideas. For now, I’ll just ask you this question and maybe one day we’ll sit and talk long.

How do you think that Moses came up with the idea that he was not a good speaker?

Here’s what I think. I think that Moses came up with the idea by comparing himself to other people he thought were good speakers.

It’s the same way with you and me. Comparison opens the door for sabotaging lies to steal our confidence, stymie our courage, and stand in the way of our contentment.

Comparison puts up roadblocks along the path to fulfilling our God-given calling by setting an undefined standard of approval and acceptance.

We fear the REJECT stamp will come crashing down with wet ink that mars all of life.

We fear that we are perhaps fatally flawed as confidence seeps through the holes of insecurity punctured and punctuated by comparison.

We compare our abilities to someone else’s and come to this conclusion: I could never do it like she does it. And you know what? You were never meant to!

God doesn’t need two people just alike. He has uniquely and precisely created you with specific gifts and talents to do exactly what He has called you to do. So get good at being you!

David wrote: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (Ps. 139: 13, 14 emphasis added).

He knew what full well? In these particular verses, David wasn’t praising God for the way He flung the stars in the night sky, set the spinning earth on its axis, or stocked the oceans with sea creatures of every kind. David was marveling at the magnificent masterpiece called David. Me. You. He knew that full well.

You are God’s workmanship. His masterpiece—Woman was His grand finale of all creation. Do you know that full well?

Paul wrote to the Galatians, “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life” (Gal. 6:4–5, MSG).

Listen; if God didn’t put it in you, then you don’t need it to do what He has called you to do.

  • If God didn’t make you eloquent, then you don’t need to be eloquent to do what He’s prepared for you to do.
  • If God didn’t make you a good speller, then you don’t need to be a good speller to do what He’s prepared for you to do.
  • If God didn’t place you in a home where you were the apple of your daddy’s eye, then you don’t need to be the apple of your daddy’s eye to be all God wants you to be and do all He has planned for you to do.

One pastor said: “One of the main reasons we struggle with insecurity is that we’re comparing our behind-the-scenes with everybody else’s highlight reel.”

I always promise to show you the film on the cutting room floor. See, I cut them out, but God picked them back up, brushed them off, and inserted them back into the reel. “These are some of my favorites,” He explained. “The scenes you would rather no one see are the very ones that will help women see Me.”

And it’s the same ways with you. Don’t hide those parts or sweep them under the rug. God will used them in ways you could never imagine.

God knows your inadequacies and your insecurities. He knows what caused them and who caused them. He saw you before you even had them.

Yet He chose you before you were born for a purpose—to fulfill a plan in a predetermined point in time (Acts 17:26).

It’s time to let go of comparing ourselves to others and take hold of our uniqueness crafted by God.

God made you to be you! And He thinks you’re amazing!


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Comments 8

  1. Thank you for these amazing words. I have been struggling with my insecurities and it comes from comparing myself to others. I just need to remember God made ME awesome and my flaws are not flaws, they are just me and the way that God made me. Thanks for these words.

  2. I love it! Truly we are all amazing in our differences. We often forget that God did not create us by mass production. We are all unique, special and worthy of being loved for our differences. I might not look the same way in the same dress that someone else is wearing, but then again, why would I want to!

  3. “fear the REJECT stamp will come crashing down with wet ink that mars all of life.”
    This has stopped me from trying to put my art out in public. Two people from my church told me their siblings are better then I am. So I tell myself ‘I am not as good, so why try’. I know there are hundreds of artists in the fine arts, and hundreds of hundreds of artists world wide. ( you can replace the word artist with any career title) I hold myself back believing I am not good and will not succeed so why try.
    I need to try because even though it imay be true their siblings are better, I am uniquely made and what I do will also be uniquely made.

  4. Dear Sharon, Thank you for speaking to me and encouraging me to move forward, not give up or give in. I am applying what you have taught me through your book,
    Take Hold..The Lord bless and keep you.
    I started a job with home care for a young man with special needs. It is quite the challenge. Yet the Lord has prepared me to deal with the medical as well as the others special needs he has. What a privilege to work and be with him. At first he reminded me of what my behavioral problems my son has and it almost me. I almost quit. But I came home and read from your book: God’s words put into your mouth for such a time as this n I took hold of my faith n walked my mouth in the right direction to conclude that I can and will do all things through Christ who strengthens me, moving forward not looking back!! Strength and answers to prayer almost followed immediately. Because I took hold of the task beforee n would not give up. I continue to pray that the Lord embolden you n I to speak up not shut up. There is my praise report. The glory goes to the Lord who strengthens us to be the women He’s called us to be. Amen!

  5. Thank you. You are an encouragement and an inspiration to us. Your ministry is a blessing to us. May God remember your labour of love and reward you openly in Jesus name. Much love!

  6. Two days ago I came from a first time visit to a home where a wonderful and sweet Christian couple and their son live. It is a very large beautiful newly built brick home on a stunning well-kept spacious landscape. They in turn had to stop by my place that evening. As I rode home I couldn’t believe I had to let them see where I live. Let’s just say it’s a very small, old “home sweet home”. I did not want them to come to my home, but I was purchasing a car from them and there was no other way to get the car here, except to have them drive it here. I even woke up the next day feeling embarrassed!

    I love this post but especially what you said here: “Don’t hide those parts or sweep them under the rug. God will use them in ways you could never imagine.” I need to remember this every day!

  7. Dear Sharon,

    Believe it or not, But I have been receiving your emails for a while and they all have been on point. But this one(to God be the Glory) has truly confirmed for the thousandth time what God has been saying to me all of my life. But this day, once again, He has reminded me of how precious and special I am to Him. That He created me uniquely. He said that I could not move forward until I learned to love me. He gave me recently, Psalm 139:14 as a constant reminder when the enemy tries to make me think otherwise. This has been a life long struggle, but every time I almost give in to satan’s lies; He always send a ram in the bush. (I have over 4000 email and guess which one I chose to read?

    Thank you, for you truly have been a God send to me!

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