When Shame Weighs You Down

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I sat on my back porch, wrapped in my fuzzy worn robe—the one that’s twenty years old but I just can’t seem to get rid of.

The birch tree leaves shivered in the cool morning crispness and the gerbera daisies that had been sleeping beneath the soil through the winter months, stretched their faces to the sun . . . just a bit higher than the day before.

Then I heard him. The rooster.

ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. I’m not sure where he lives, but it’s within earshot.

ER-er-ER-er-ERRRR. I thought of Peter. I thought of me. I thought of you.

You know the story. At the dinner table, on the night before Jesus went to the cross, He had a chat with his friend Peter. He referred to Peter in his pre-disciple-days name—Simon.

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.”

Don’t you know Jesus thought…sure you are, buddy?

“I tell you, Peter,” Jesus said, “before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”

A few hours later, Peter did just that. Denied that he even knew Jesus. Three times. And then the rooster crowed. ER-er-ER-er ERRRR.

And Peter went outside and wept bitterly. He cried and cried and cried.

The next morning, the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered his failure.

And the next morning the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered his failure.

And the next, and the next, and the next.

With every cock-a-doodle-doo came a fresh reminder. First thing in the morning.

Have you ever been there? I have.

I have failed. I have cried and cried and cried. I have remembered.

Shame has poked drain holes in my Spirit-filled confidence and I have hidden behind the wall with Peter…behind the bush with Eve.

And even though I had asked God to forgive me, and I knew that He had, the rooster still crowed in my heart, and I remembered my failure all over again.

Like a trapeze artist who takes hold of the second bar, but refuses to let go of the first, I have hung—dangling over “life to the full.”

Not quite letting go of the life that’s “less than” in order to soar fully and free as God intended.

And God calls to me…Let go. Move forward. Live bold. It’s the only way.

And Paul tells me how… Here’s what I do… I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Forgetting what lies behind and reaching for what lies ahead… (Philippians 3:12,13)

And I see it clearly. For me and for you.

When we finally take hold of, grasp, and make our own all that Jesus has already taken hold of for us and placed in us, we begin to experience life to the full—the faith we’ve always longed for.

But taking hold is not enough. We’ve got to let go.

Let go of shame-filled ponderings and and take hold of grace-filled pardon.

Let go of crippling bitterness and take hold of radical forgiveness

Let go of weak-kneed worry and take hold of sure-footed confidence.

Let go of insecurity and take hold of your true identity as a child of God.

Let go of preoccupation with self-doubt and take hold of God’s power-filled promises.

Let go of comparison and take hold of your God-fashioned uniqueness.

Let go of the lies that hold you hostage and take hold of the truth that sets you free.

Let go of paralyzing doubt and take hold of fleet-footed faith that’s ready to dance to the daring rhythm of God’s drum.

I get excited thinking about it and I’m ready.

God has placed lavish promises in the safety deposit box of my heart and fashioned a cross-shaped key just for me…just for you.

And letting go of shame and taking hold of grace is where it all begins.

What did Jesus have to say about Peter’s failure? Three strikes, you’re out? Not hardly.

After his resurrection, Jesus pulled Peter aside…

“Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “You know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

“Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”

Jesus removed the shroud of shame hanging from Peter’s guilt weary shoulders, and called him to get back to the ministry to which he was called. And He does the same for me and for you.

Take hold of grace.

But the rooster still crows.

The question is, what will we remember when it does?

Not the sin…but the grace.

Oh friend, don’t let the enemy accuse you of what God has already forgiven you of.

Don’t let him fool you into thinking that the cross was not enough.

Take hold of what Jesus has already taken hold of for you.

And He asks…

“Daughter, do you love me?”

“Yes, Lord, you know that I do.”

Feed my sheep.
Take Hold of the Faith You Long For is finally here! Let’s learn how to Let Go, Move Forward, and Live Bold in the adventurous faith God intended. Let’s live beyond simply being a nice church girl and live lifetake hold collage to the full! Isn’t that what you’ve been longing for all along? If you feel like something is missing in your faith, this book is for you. It also includes a wonderful Bible study in the back for group or individual study. Click here to read a sample chapter and watch a short video.

4 Responses to When Shame Weighs You Down

  1. Paula Williams June 7, 2016 at 12:33 pm #

    Marvelous insight..I want 3 books for friends of mine.
    You’re doing great work for The Lord.
    Thank You..Paula

    • Grace June 29, 2016 at 7:46 am #

      Thank you very much for how you make it . Twice Jesus spoke of ‘ to feed, sheep and lamp
      and to take care of sheep. As mother it takes a lot to feed your children the dietary and
      best food for good health and growth. Also to take care. It requires hard work, courage and
      patience. Needs a lot to do. But when i remembered that He (Jesus) will not leave us alone.
      It gives joy and happiness since He is the WINNER !!!

  2. Katherine Swarts June 7, 2016 at 7:11 pm #

    Don’t feel silly about the robe; I have favorite sweaters from my college days (even further back) that I still can’t bear to part with.

  3. Toni June 8, 2016 at 8:16 am #

    Thank you. This post will change the course of my whole day….thank you.

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