When You’re Struggling with Disappointment of the Worst Kind

Sharon JaynesDealing with Your Past, Living Fully, Take Hold of the Faith You Long For, Uncategorized 74 Comments

My son keeps me laughing with funny videos posted on YouTube.com. One was from the movie Hercules.

Rumor has it that the script had the word “disappointed” in parenthesis, noting that the actor was to say the line as if he were disappointed.  Instead, when the actor got to that particular line he yelled out…DISAPPOINTED! Oops!

Now when I’m feeling really disappointed, I think about Hercules’ “DISAPPOINTED” and it usually makes me start laughing.

But disappointment is no laughing matter. And if we let it, disappointment can morph into deep seated discouragement.

Everyone will experience discouragement at some point in life. It will look as different and unique as the fingerprints on your hand, but disappointments will come.

  • Dropping your son off at a rehab center instead of college.
  • Signing divorce papers instead of planning an anniversary party.
  • Looking for a job rather than getting a raise.
  • Cuddling up with a good book rather than cozying up with a good husband.
  • Planning a funeral instead of planning a future.
  • Counting out food stamps instead of writing a check.
  • Moving up in your career rather than rocking a baby in your arms.

Yes, everyone will experience broken dreams at some point in their lives.

I had a dream of having a houseful of giggling little girls and boisterous rowdy boys. After Steven was born, I felt that we were well on our way to making that dream a reality.

I loved being a mom! With Bambi-length eyelashes, chubby cheeks, and a shock of black hair (which later turned white), Steven held my heart in his tiny little hand the first time I laid eyes on him.

Eighteen months later, I was ready to plan for baby number two. We had conceived Steven with no trouble whatsoever, so I thought giving him a sibling would be just as easy.

We told Steven, “Mommy and Daddy are asking God to give you a little brother or sister!”

The plan was that Steven would see how God answers prayer.

At the end of our family prayer each night, Steven would add, “And God, please give mommy and daddy another Jaynes baby.”

But the next month there was no news of another Jaynes baby. Or the next . . . or the next. Months turned into years, and Steven continued to pray, “And God, please give mommy and daddy another Jaynes baby. Amen.”

Doctor visits, infertility treatment, and monthly heartbreak consumed my thinking. This is not how the story was supposed to go.

The disappointment was crushing. The discouragement was visceral.

Steven was just about to turn five . . . and still praying for a brother or sister every night. But, it looked like that was not going to happen.

I didn’t know what to tell this little tow-headed boy so full of faith.

How do you tell a kid that he doesn’t need to pray a certain prayer anymore? Should I even do that? Was this seemingly unanswered prayer going to damage his faith?

“God, if this is Your will for our family,” I sighed, “You’ve got to take care of this prayer situation with Steven.”

We had a miniature table and chairs in the kitchen where Steven and I ate lunch together each day. One day while sharing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Steven looked up, and in his sweet little voice said, “Mommy, have you ever thought that maybe God only wants you to have one Jaynes baby?”

“Yes, I have thought that. And if that’s what He wants, I’m so thankful He has given me all I have ever hoped wrapped up in one package, YOU!”

Then he cocked his little head and stated a prayer plan. “Well, what I think we ought to do is keep praying until you’re too old to have one. Then we’ll know that’s His answer!”

What a great idea. The truth is, I had been worried about Steven’s faith, but all the while, it was my own that was suffering.

I was so discouraged that I was having trouble believing that God loved me.

Steven didn’t know how old too old was, but with a child-like faith, he did know God could do anything. If His answer was no, he didn’t have a problem with that. I told him no many times and he understood that no did not mean, I don’t love you. No just meant No, because I am your parent and I know what’s best for you.

I don’t know what you’re going through today, but I do know this. God is your heavenly Father who loves you and knows what’s best for you. Many times shatter dreams become the pieces for a beautiful mosaic that we never even thought to imagine.

There’s more to this story, there always is. And there’s more to yours too.

Are you willing to trust God with your broken dreams in order to experience better dreams? If so, leave a comment and say, “Yes, I’m willing!”


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Comments 74

  1. Lovely devotion I have also dreamed o f a lot of things which have nver hAppened .Hanging. To my Faith praying that they happen.Amen

    1. Yes, I too am willing! I thought my son and daughter would marry and I would have grandkids! Well, they both did marry, and I do have grandkids; however, my son and his family have stopped talking to me for almost eight years and my daughter has clung to her husband’s family to the exclusion of me and our family, which is smaller than small. Heartbreak, but I cling to God’s plan for me.

  2. “Yes Iam Willing”.I Trust God for a job after praying and waiting God for many years,i sometimes discouraged almost losing hope

  3. Ouch don’t like this one. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what to do with those broken dreams. The ones that are too late now but you prayed so hard for. Do we just ignore them? Push them aside? Pretend we aren’t crazy disappointed? Just accept he said no and try to figure out the why? Am I not a good mom for a little girl? Would I not be a good stay at home mom? These are tough tough questions. Faith faith faith. And hope for something else.

  4. My dream is for a strong, united family…my oldest daughter hasn’t talked to me in almost four years and I have very limited access to my two grandsons due to this.
    Last night I was thinking about just giving up because my prayers aren’t being answered. I never thought this would go on this long and have a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
    Thank you for your words of encouragement today!

    1. Linda,
      I will be lifting you up in prayer, I’ve been praying for my son and our relationship for 9 yrs. Understand all too well. I’ve been speaking Gods word over him and family. I’ve yet to see my 2 granddaughter’s, 8&3. They just got married a few weeks ago. I have my up and down days. I’ve come to realize their restoration with the Lord is far more important than with me. Yes, it still hurts and breaks my heart. I’ve been speaking prodigal son’s and daughter’s come home!!
      God bless you!! ((( Hugs )))

  5. I’m struggling today. My mom died 5 weeks ago. My Only sister died in a horrible accident this past Friday. I know God has a purpose for taking them both and I can’t understand now but hopefully will one day. I’m struggling to put one foot in front of the other and hope time will help. Prayers please.

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      I am so sorry for so much loss in such a short amount of time. Cindy, I will be praying for you and I’m asking all commenters to pray for you too. Just do what you’re doing and put one foot in front of the other. One step at a time.

    2. You will be in my prayers, Cindy. I am so sorry for the loss of your mom & sister. I pray God will make His comforting love very real to you minute by minute as you travel through this heart-break.

  6. Yes I’m willing. Sometimes a delay isn’t a “no”. But the wrong timing. God’s timing is always perfect! Thanks for the reminder.

    1. I agree with you Yvonne, even though I have prayed years for the “good husband” over the “good book.” I have strong feelings for a particular Christian guy. It’s a long story and I do suspect it’s an issue of timing rather than an issue that my prayers are off base. I pray scriptures which I believe to be in God’s will — things like spiritual and emotional growth for both of us.

      I struggle with disappointment bordering on discouragement because time is moving. Because there are elements of my life that are so silent, so flat, I believe God has more for me than just this current stalemate.

  7. Yes I am willing. I have been struggling with this one. Praying for some things for several years and wondering if I should stop praying and accept that this is my fate. I surrender all Lord

  8. Yes I am. Just lost my job, about to start the last semester of college and I don’t know how everything will be paid or where the money is coming from, but I put my trust in my Heavenly Father to not only supplies my physical needs but my spiritual needs. My desire is to draw near to God in the mist of my trail.

  9. YES I AM WILLING! I am 68 yrs old and never married. I finally accepted a proposal and wedding date set for May, 2017. What is so wonderful about getting married at this age?? I get to be surrounded by my beautiful God friends!! If I had married earlier (I have known my beau for 25 yrs) I would not have chosen/known these people to participate in my nuptials!! GOD certainly played this one out just right!!! Praise be to God!

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    2. WOW! This is so encouraging! I think what’s wonderful about your situation is that God has moved in a mighty way! I would also think that you know yourself, and your fiance’ better than if you had married earlier. This gives me chills, too, and hope!

  10. Also just the reminder I needed! Isaiah 55:9-” ‘ As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts!’ ” One of the verses I am committing to memory so I have more to quote as I’m falling asleep each night with my CPAP machine! And I have also made this a time of prayer! Our Pastor’s dear wife had made a comment once that I can’t forget. Satan can’t attack you while you are praying! Thought that was really good! Thanks for all you do! Can’t wait to get your book!

  11. YES!!! I am willing!!! Thank you for this beautiful life story! We too hoped for a larger family. But God had different plans. My personal prayer was to be blessed with at least ONE little girl ,no matter how many children He wanted us to have. Five years and ready to give up hope, we were FINALLY expecting!!!! Several complications arose during the pregnancy, but our baby held on and we knew we had a FIGHTER!!!!!! Having to deliver by C-section, the doctors discovered that this WAS a Miracle Baby. My insides were just a mess with blockages and being twisted up. The doctors were completely stunned and remarked to my husband, “How in God’s Name did your wife even get pregnant?!!! Her tubes are completely blocked!!!!” Well…the doctor answered his own question right there! It was ONLY in “GOD’S NAME” and in our faith and prayers!!!! And although the Lord decided to bless us with one child ,instead of the 4 we had hoped for……that one precious Miracle was…..our little GIRL!!!!!!!! She is all grown up now, but I thank Him EVERYDAY for that miracle! We have the most AWESOME relationship and you’d never guess that she is an only child!!! To be honest, I’m glad He worked it out this way!!! It’s soooo much better than our original dream!!!!!!! God is sooooo AMAZING!!!!

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  12. Am willing to accept what God says is best me. Right now my job is on the line not a good thing but am TRUSTING God. My stomach hurts, Proverbs 3:5-6 just comes to mind.

  13. Thanks for your words of encouragement I’m struggling with disappointment over something and I feel like god is not here my prayers

  14. Yes, I am willing! Thanks for sharing. Children are such a blessing and God speak to and through them in amazing ways. Cried while reading. I can see why God didn’t give me children, but right now it seems every dream is gone and I have no idea where to go from here. I am choosing to trust Him, but some moments (forget days) are so hard. Our God is faithful and He does know best. He has promised to give each and everyone of us Hope and a Future. In His time we will see it.

  15. Yes,I’m willing. I know is not easy road…. I need to trust God to give the best to Him son and daugther. Jesus I surrender all my dissappointment to Your love… I need You Jesus. Amen

  16. Boy, did I need this post today. I’ve had a tough 2 weeks, & then this morning I was disappointed by something that is really not all that important. I think it’s one of those “the straw that broke the camel’s back” kind of things, but I just felt so burdened by the disappointment UNTIL I came across this post. Helps put things in perspective. Thanks you, Sharon, for another bit of timely wisdom.

  17. Yes, I’m willing! I give up my disappointments to God to deal with in His timing and meditate on the truth that GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME! I don’t know what I would be doing without my relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ. It is such a blessing!

  18. I don’t know whats going on. MY daugther Keila left the house this Sunday. I don’t know where she is. For us it is out of the blue. I am trying to hold on to trust God but it is impossible to breathe sometimes.
    God has not changed he is faithful he will change everything for our blessing.
    Help me/us. Please pray.

  19. O God u know my pains & worries even more than I do, u know the situation of things in my house more than I do but today with a leap of Faith I declare YES I AM WILLING so Jesus take the lead

  20. Yes I’m willing!!! Through it all, I’ve been surrendering myself, my children. My heart is so broken, what a most difficult month! I don’t understand, I don’t see where the mending and joy will come through. I trust the Lord with all I can muster, speaking His word. It will not come back void, but accomplish all!
    Nine years since my oldest son has spoken to me, 2 granddaughter’s yet to meet and their wedding come and gone a few weeks ago. Just another major event loss. Hmmm, makes me wonder where and how that 7 times repay will come back?? I didn’t even recognize my son in a picture, he is 30 now.
    Oh , but his dad has had pleasure of having it all, seeing it and yet he broke all vows, shattered lives and here I am Lord, help me to see you in all this….

  21. This post touched me deeply. I have suffered infertility, affair, and now a divorce…many broken dreams, but regardless I hold on to faith that our Loving Father knows what’s best for me. Not an easy task at times, but somehow God pulls me through and always will!

  22. Yes!! Today marks 8 years since the Lord placed a beautiful Taiwanese boy in my arms!! The beginning of a mosaic I never dreamed possible. What I had thought a year before was the worst thing thwt could ever happen to me was all part of His better plan!! God is able!!

  23. Yes, I am willing. I am an old lady with not too many dreams left. But I did have a whole bushel of them, nevertheless. Then I found out I had Parkinson’s. Now I walk with a walker and am pretty well confined to the house unless I can get someone to take me who is willing to deal with my walker. If I drive myself, I still need someone to help me when I get where I am going. This is not how I planned my life. But from the beginning I have known this is how God has it all planned out. He is using me from my home with my computer and for that I am grateful. I am grateful it is not the kind of Parkinson’s that makes people shake all over. God is good all the time. All the time God is good.

  24. Yes, I am willing. Broken marriage, husband neglected our sons and me. He seems to thrive in his new marriage while I am still alone not willing to settle and just get married as several friends have advised. God told me to wait on Him and I’m committed to Him. If He has a godly man for me, He will help him find me. I have so much love, encouragement, respect to give. I’ll live in each moment doing God’s work until God surprises me. He wouldn’t tell me to wait unless there’s someone to wait for! My sons want a good man for me and to be a mentor for the. Im willing and waiting.

  25. I took my shattered dreams for proof that God didn’t love me. And three times our pastor dismissed my pleas for guidance. That hurt almost as much as the disappointment that I couldn’t get pregnant again. Sharon, like you, I got pregnant with our daughter super easily so I assumed it would be easy to have just one more. Wrong. I’ve struggled with how our family dynamic is with one child and the worry that I don’t want her to feel alone. I feel all alone in my worry and disappointment too. Thank you for writing this and reminding me that “shattered dreams become the pieces for a beautiful mosaic”. I’m willing.

  26. Yes, I am willing! Funny you said, ” actor” That is my daughter and my dream for her! God even went as far to put us in CA, put us with the right people, agency and provided everything we needed!! I’m not sure if I did something wrong or He needed me to come back home for other reasons?? There’s a lot to my story as well, but I am willing to trust God for what He has for us! It’s really hard some days, but I can’t give up!!

  27. Yes Lord, I’m willing to wait! I took in and had complications. I had to do an evacuation after much bleeding and been told that I had uterine Fibroid and not a baby! I thank God that there is no Fibroid now and I’m assured that my children will come.

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