Crying in the Corner

Sharon Jaynes Identity in Christ, Trusting God, When You Don't Like Your Story 51 Comments

Have you ever felt:“God, help me! Make this stop! Why are you letting this happen? Why are you allowing this person to hurt me? Don’t you love me? Don’t you care about me? I know you could get me out of this situation if you wanted to. Why don’t you make it go away?” If so, keep reading.

Steven was three years old when he contracted a severe case of the flu. His slumped body snuggled listlessly in my lap like a worn-out rag doll. When I carried him into the medical clinic, the doctor took one look at my boy and sent us straight to the hospital. Steven was dehydrated and needed fluids immediately.

My heart ripped wide when the nurses taped a support board to Steven’s little arm and inserted the needle for the IV. Not his thumb-sucking arm, my heart winced.

“Mommy, Mommy,” Steven cried. “Make them stop! They are hurting me!”

“No, honey,” I tried to assure him with tears streaming down my cheeks. “They’re making you all better.”

“Mommy, help me!”

Steven cried. I cried. The nurses cried.

I could only imagine what was going through Steven’s mind. Why are these people hurting me? Why doesn’t Mommy make them stop? She must not love me. She’s not protecting me. If she loved me, she wouldn’t let them do this.

Standing in the corner watching my little tow-headed boy cry, I wondered if God feels something similar when I am in a painful situation. I cry out, “God, help me! Make this stop! Why are you letting this happen? Why are you allowing this person to hurt me? Don’t you love me? Don’t you care about me? I know you could get me out of this situation if you wanted to. Why don’t you make it go away?”

Then I envisioned God speaking to my pain-filled little girl heart. You might think I’ve deserted you, but I will never leave or forsake you. You might think I don’t love you, but I love you to the height of heaven and the depth of the sea. You might think I don’t care about what’s happening to you, but I am orchestrating your days and care about every hair on your head. My ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts. Yes, I do care about you and what is happening to you. In the end, this will make you better. I am not doing something to you; I’m doing something in you.

Pastor Steven Furtick once said, “We worship a God who can best be explained as a mystery, and yet we live in a culture that worships certainty.” However, the very definition of faith is an intertwining of mystery and certainty.

The writer of Hebrews penned, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1 ESV). The word translated “conviction” is the Greek word elegchos, which means a proof or test. It can also be translated as “evidence,” and yet, faith is belief in something we cannot prove.

There’s nothing wrong with trying to understand why bad things happen, but we have to recognize that our understanding is limited. The Bible clearly states, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

In other words, don’t try to figure out everything on your own. When we hold loosely our need to know the why, we can trust fully in the who. Since God’s ways are higher than our ways, we shouldn’t expect him to write our stories the same way we would. Often, the twists and turns of the plot won’t make sense until we’re on the other side of this life. And here’s a promise from the Lord himself: “Those who hope in me will not be disappointed” (Isaiah 49:23).

The devil will try to fill in the gaps of what you don’t understand, and poke holes in what you do. Refuse his input into your situation. Let faith fill the gaps of what you don’t understand and the full assurance of God’s goodness seal up what you do.

I don’t understand why certain parts of my story have played out as they have, and I’m guessing you probably don’t either. But one day we will. In the meanwhile, I trust that God loves me and knows what’s best for me. That doesn’t mean I’m going to like every situation that comes my way, but after I fuss about it for a while, I will settle down and remember that God is not absent in what is happening. I can choose to believe that God will somehow use my pain for a purpose. I may not see the good on this side of heaven, but I can trust it’s waiting for me there even now.

Heavenly Father, I don’t understand everything that happens in my life, but I do understand that You always know what’s best. I trust You, even when I don’t understand. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

If someone asked you, “What does it mean to trust God?” what would you say? Leave a comment and let’s compare notes.

My new book, When You Don’t Like Your Story answers your deepest questions about why bad things happen. Click here to read a sample chapter, watch a quick video, or pick up some beautiful graphics for your social media.

What if your worst chapters could become your greatest victories? I believe they can.

 

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Comments 51

  1. Thank you for this piece. Sometimes I feel I’m drowning in sorrow and cry out to God to help. He answers all the time. My consolation is that no matter how long, there’s always restoration. I trust in God.

  2. I trust GOD to be GOD! There is no one like HIM! I trust Him to be my strong tower, provider, comforter, and friend. I am the apple of HIS eye!

  3. I trust God with all my heart, a few years ago I had a bad accident and broke my leg really bad. it was touch and go whether they would have to amputate. Before the paramedics moved me, I cried out to God with clench fists asking for him to help me get through whatever was going to happen. After a couple of days and operations I was taken off all pain killers especially morphine. on going back to consultant he said he didn’t know how they hadn’t amputated and I said power of prayer and beliefs. The other thing was the consultant that should have been on duty that day had gone off sick , the Top consultant was the guy that operated, another God blessing. the weeks of convelesance were restful and I was at peace.

  4. Even when I am in the depths, I know I can believe that all God says is true and He will not leave or forsake, for greater is He that is in me than he who is in the world. Be of good cheer for Jesus has overcome the world! Peace!

  5. To fully rely on him and not try to go into my own understanding but know that he is holding my hand working out any situation better than I could imagine

  6. I think that it means to “let go and let God…” and sometimes it’s hard because I’m a “fixer.” I have to let a situation go and pray about it, asking God to fix it. It will be fixed eventually, even if it isn’t what I had hoped for. I think we would be happier if we could just let go and not agonize about it because we know that God is in control. I am going to try to let go of being a fixer as much as I can and watch what God does in my life in 2021.

    1. Thank you Melissa for your comment! This speaks volumes about me. I, too, am a fixer and always feel the need to have back up plans for everything. This story was meant just for me. Your comments were meant for me. Thank you for sharing!

      1. Same here! Back-up plans, what if’s,
        second-guessing, etc….. it’s exhausting.
        This was meant for me too, and the comments. Thank you ladies, Thank you Lord Jesus. I’m going to try to let go more often too, Lord please help me!

        1. @Melissa, Maria, Michelle: Thanks for making me feel more normal. What you all said is me too a “T”.
          The “what-ifs” absolutely steal my joy. And I’ve exhausted myself with “back-up plans”. Anxiety has struck me to the core and to sickness.
          With a wounded heart, I continually have to remind myself “God’s got this”.
          May the Lord Bless you All.
          Thank you all for your transparency. 💓

  7. I have to trust God in my present circumstances bcz I know He loves me and has a plan that I may not understand but trust Him with my life. My circumstances may not change but God is in control.

  8. Wow! Can I relate to this. Just yesterday I spoke some of these same words. I feel like I have been through trial after trial and even still my heart is hurting. I don’t understand why my life is this way but what I do know is that God loves me! He loves me far too much to allow me to go through the trials, hurt and grieving, without any purpose. He has a plan in all of this. He promises good to those who love Him. He turns what the enemy meant for harm into good.
    I realized in my weariness and with a heavy heart that I may not get my desires met in this life. That is a hard reality to come to. But in that I also realized that if I don’t, it is only because God is doing something far bigger and more important. Something that I cannot see or understand.
    My role is to be obedient and faithful and trust that what He is doing is good! No matter how it feels. That is not easy! Not easy at all. But my friends, our time here is short and more important than the things I want, I want to know that God is using my life here for His purpose.
    Hang on to hope. Heaven is coming and there will be no more trials. No more sadness or pain. There, we will receive our blessings!

    1. Thank you for this. I was able to share some of your words with a friend who is in a crisis in her marriage. It is so true that we may not get all our desires met in this life. But our hope and reward is in heaven. Until then we need to be faithful and obedient and not give up.

    2. This truly blessed me! I mirror EVERYTHING you said! All I have is my faith that God is using all of what I am going through for His good and that He will ultimately be glorified!!
      Thank you for your comment!

  9. For me it is
    Truly
    Rely on His
    Unfailing love and
    Submit to His perfect
    Timing
    Every time something goes wrong I hear God ask “Are you going to trust Me? It is total surrender to His will. It isn’t always easy but I end up giving it to Him.

  10. TO ME, TRUSTING GOD IS OBEYING HIM THROUGH THE DEEPEST PAIN AND SORROWS. CONTINUING TO OBEY HIM NOT KNOWING THE FUTURE OR HOW LONG THE PAIN WILL LAST OR WHY IT IS HAPPENING. BELIEVING AND KNOWING HE IS CONTROL AND LOVES YOU AND ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS IS DOING WHATS BEST.

  11. Even though I do not have all the answers to the whys in life I know God will never leave or forsake me His word never changes I can rest in Him

  12. I would say: Sometimes I have no idea why things happen the way they do, but I do know that God will come through and be faithful to his promises (the ones supported by the Word of God). 😊

    1. Amen I agree God knows what’s he’s doing even when it gets tough fight your battles on your knees prayer trusting him believing him and saturating your love yo him no matter what God is Love💝! Blessings!

  13. There is awesome truth in this article Sharon…. God’s Word is so true….ALL things do work together for good, even when we can’t see what He is up to. The Father’s Love is so enormous and I do believe that love would NEVER allow us to be hurt unnecessarily. There were those who wagged their heads at Jesus on the cross, sure that He was ‘smitten of God’ as they watched Him suffer. BUT GOD, heartbroken over His Son’s suffering, had a plan. I believe He has a plan for each bit of suffering we endure as well. Trust His love ❤️

  14. God’s plan is so often hard to see by our view but he has binoculars covering every inch so trusting him is our only hope!

  15. I really enjoyed this sharing. It hit right to the very heart of how I NEED to trust God more and remember He knows what He’s doing, and I don’t have to! This is so awesome, and it gives me peace. Thank you for this sharing!!!

  16. I have been helped lately to understand more fully this concept of trusting God by studying the life of Joseph, son of Jacob. So much happened to Joseph at the hands of family and his bosses wife. The outcome was that Joseph was able to say to his brothers… “What you meant for evil, God

    meant for good”.
    I pray for that kind of faith and trust in God.
    If someone asked me what it meant to trust God I would share that true story in Genesis.

  17. This really spoke to me. I am dealing with a situation at work that I pray about almost everyday. Honestly sometimes I wonder if it will ever be resolved. I ask God to show me the part I am playing in making the situation bad and the part Ineed to play to improve the situation. I will continue to pray for resolution. God is good and he will not leave me or forsake me.

  18. Faith means not worrying about every thing. I know God has my best interests in mind. He knows what is best and I will trust him. Even when life doesn’t go the way I want, I know God is near and has a plan for me.

  19. I would say to them that even though I cannot see the resolution to the challenge, I do know that in the past, God has been there for me, working it out, not how I may want it to, but things generally turn out better than I expect. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but I do know who holds the future and whose I am. So I will leave everything in His hands and ask that His Will be done. Leave it all in His hands.

  20. A few years ago, my worst nightmare seemed to come to life. I’d been diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia, a very painful facial disorder called the Suicide Disease because of the intensity of the pain. Three months later my husband was diagnosed with stage-four cancer. It felt as though the sky was falling and I collapsed under the weight of it all into a pit of severe depression. I could no longer feel God’s presence and felt abandoned by Him, but I was the one who fell away. He was beside me the entire time with healing in His hands. It took time and much prayer, but both of us recovered. I am stronger now than I’ve ever been. although the pain continues. Those gaps in my faith that I’d been unaware of before are now filled to overflowing. My husband still has cancer but it is far better now and has little effect on his life. We are so relieved and rejoice in God’s mercy and love!!! When all seems lost, think of the words God repeatedly gave me through this crisis “All is well.”

  21. My youngest son has a note on his desk and it says something like this: I cant see the air I breathe but is there. Trusting God is kind of like that.

  22. Thank you for this today! I needed it so much. My mother passed away in April 2020, my grandmother Dec 2020 and my father is in ICU with Covid. I needed to hear, I still need to trust and believe in God.

  23. Some days I just need a reminder that God is still active and in control in spite of everything that is going on around me- and that chapters CAN be used for His glory. Today your post was that reminder. Thank you for pointing me back to Him.

  24. Trusting God to me is inhaling deep and not being afraid to exhale deep, too. Being able to take it all in and truly feel it without worrying about what comes next. Not holding my breath worrying about the next lung filling. It is good to remind myself of this as I don’t always practice.

  25. This topic is so relevant in a time when it seems like everything around is falling apart. Loosing closest family members, friends after interceding for them is painful but still I trust in God. The scripture that encourages me the most is 1 Corinthians 15:19; If in this life ONLY we have hope in Christ, we are of all men, most miserable. I’m learning more and more to fix my eyes on heavenly things because everything on this earth is fading. I trust God like the apostle Paul that either way, whether here or there, I’ll be with the Lord. Thank you God for giving us the blessing of total faith and confidence.

  26. God has not dealt with me as my sin, sometimes blatant, deserved. When I think about some of my past, how can I not trust God? The God Who loves me in a “proven” unconditional way. Understood, not really, but there’s a “knowing” in my heart.

  27. The Almighty God is the acitech of my whole being,therefore I will learn to trust him in anyway or setiouation my life may be going through.
    Thanks you alot for your encouragement.

  28. I dont understand and believe that God has the best for me… I don’t believe my worst chapters could be my greatest victories….. i want to believe in the goodness of God.. but the death of my husband and the betrayal of family- well at least i thought his parents and sister were my family too, were all in His hands and he purposed it to go against me, against our sons, and against Brian too….
    How do i trust again.. Lord i cannot on my own, help me……

  29. “What does it mean to trust God?”

    Yesterday my husband was undergone covid test due to some of his workmates positive in COVID.
    Before that happens we spent our New Year vacation in the province last December 28 to January 2. He received a message from his workmate that some of their workmates are positive from Covid before new year. I was scared because we were with my parents, my siblings and most of all my nieces and nephews. The night before my husband’s covid test, I cried a lot in prayer. Asking God to have mercy on us.
    I entrust to the Lord the results of my husband’s Covid test. I trusted the Lord to make the Covid Test result negative.
    We received this morning the result and thank God the result is negative. We are so happy for the result.
    Indeed when we acknowledge God’s power, wisdom and that we are helpless God will make a way to help you because you fully trust Him with everything in your life. Thank you God. All Glory and Honor belongs to You Jesus.

  30. As I recently took a fall and broke my ankle I’m reminded of the story of an earthly father walking down the sidewalk beside his child. The child is walking on the curb and trips and falls. The earthly father just like God was with the child, loved the child, and did not turn away but yet a bad thing happened to the child. Our walk with God will have falls, some as accidents and some due to our sin, but we can be assured that God is with us, loves us and cries with us..

  31. What does it mean to trust God…
    For me it is this…
    Being in the gym (pre-pandemic) stretching after my work out, being flat on my face (literally) and tears running out of my eyes just sobbing and crying out to the Lord to just take my pain away. My heart was crushed, and not do to my own ministrations. It was in that moment that God felt the furthest away from me yet… I was the closest to him. I knew he would never leave me, yet I felt all alone. Here it is about 15 months later, I still don’t understand and I still wrestle with these feelings (not as strongly) THANKS TO GOD and his steadfastness and to HIS LOVE!!

  32. Trusting God is when you reach out to Him for help and you leave it there; you don’t think about it or talk about and wait on the result but always remember to ask him to give you the ability to accept the results

  33. Just read today and it’s 1/7/2021 perfect timing after yesterday’s incident. Now more than ever trusting God is my source of strength fully, complete surrendering!!! The world went upside down too many questions as to why is this happening? Revival is needed. Only God can help us through all of this we won’t be able to make sense but He is waiting on the other side. We can’t see the light we are at the curve, at valley we need to press fixing our eyes ok Jesus. Waking by faith not by sight.

  34. I have learned that “to trust God” means to acknowledge that I cannot control what happens in life and instead acknowledge that God is still good and all powerful even in the midst of my circumstances. It is having the correct perspective that God knows better than I do. Even though I don’t understand why things happen I can trust that God is still for me and has a purpose for everything that happens. I learned this the hard way after my (Christian/pastor) husband left me and took off with someone else leaving me with two precious and confused daughters. I am still in shock that such evil exists in our world. But I have never been closer to the Lord. He has even restored love in my life by providing a man who loves the Lord and loves and comforts me so well.

  35. I am not a parent, but I am thankful for the examples that parenthood gives…it does help to understand how God must feel as He sees us doing things that are stupid or dangerous, or when He has to discipline. Thanks for another example, after a couple of days when life has been challenging in spots!

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