Comparison Kills Confidence

Sharon JaynesEnough, Identity in Christ, Take Hold of the Faith You Long For 28 Comments

If there’s one thing I know it’s this: The measuring stick will get you stuck!

Believe me, I’ve been stuck there many times. I wonder if you have been too.

Comparison is the devil’s tool that has stopped many of us gals from stepping into our God-given destinies…and it’s time to stop!

You know I’ve been camping out with Moses by the burning bush for over a year while writing Take Hold of the Faith You Long For. When we meet up with him in Exodus chapter 3, he is an insecure, stuttering recluse. He argued with God and told Him that he was not a good speaker.

But, Moses hadn’t always been so insecure. Look what Stephen said to the Sanhedrin: “Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in speech and action” (Acts 7:22). He was powerful in speech? That’s what The Book says.

So what happened? Moses failed and bailed and ran away to Midian. Thought he deserved to be there. Got stuck there. He forgot his pre-ordained preparation and his God-given ability.

Oh, I wish I was sitting right there with you and we could just chat and throw around ideas. For now, I’ll just ask you this question and maybe one day we’ll sit and have a long talk.

How do you think that Moses came up with the idea that he was not a good speaker? Here’s what I think. I think that Moses came up with the idea by comparing himself to other people he thought were good speakers.

It’s the same way with you and me. Comparison opens the door for sabotaging lies to steal our confidence, stymie our courage, and stand in the way of our contentment.

Comparison puts up roadblocks along the path to fulfilling our God-given calling by setting an undefined standard of approval and acceptance.

We fear the REJECT stamp will come crashing down with wet ink that mars all of life. We fear that we are perhaps fatally flawed as confidence seeps through the holes of insecurity punctured and punctuated by comparison.

We compare our abilities to someone else’s and come to this conclusion: I could never do it like she does it. And you know what? You were never meant to! God doesn’t need two people just alike. He has uniquely and precisely created you with specific gifts and talents to do exactly what He has called you to do. So get good at being you!

David wrote: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (Ps. 139:13-14 emphasis added).

He knew what full well? In these particular verses, David wasn’t praising God for the way He flung the stars in the night sky, set the spinning earth on its axis, or stocked the oceans with sea creatures of every kind. David was marveling at the magnificent masterpiece called David. Me. You. He knew that full well.

You are God’s workmanship. His masterpiece—His grand finale of all creation. Do you know that full well? You are amazing!

Paul wrote to the Galatians, “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life” (Gal. 6:4–5, MSG).

Listen; if God didn’t put it in you, then you don’t need it to do what He has called you to do.

If God didn’t make you eloquent, then you don’t need to be eloquent to do what He’s prepared for you to do.

If God didn’t make you a good speller, then you don’t need to be a good speller to do what He’s prepared for you to do.

If God didn’t place you in a home where you were the apple of your daddy’s eye, then you don’t need to be the apple of your daddy’s eye to be all God wants you to be and do all He has planned for you to do.

One pastor said: “One of the main reasons we struggle with insecurity is that we’re comparing our behind-the-scenes with everybody else’s highlight reel.” I promise to show you the film on the cutting room floor. See, I cut them out, but God picked them back up, brushed them off, and inserted them back into the reel. “These are some of my favorites,” He explained. “The scenes you would rather no one see are the very ones that will help women see Me.”

God knows your inadequacies and your insecurities. He knows what caused them and who caused them. He saw you before you even had them. Yet He chose you before you were born for a purpose—to fulfill a plan in a predetermined point in time (Acts 17:26).

So let’s let go of comparison and take hold of our God-given uniqueness!

You’re amazing!

Leave a comment and tell one thing about the way God made you that you are thankful for today. Don’t be shy.

Lord, thank You for making me with unique gifts and talents. Thank You that there is no one else just like me, but I was created to Your specifications. Help me to stop comparing myself to others, but to be the best me I can be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Today’s blog post was taken from my book, Take Hold of the Faith You Long For: Let Go, Move Forward, Live Bold. In Take Hold of the Faith You Long For, I reveal the most common reasons we get stuck in our Christian faith, living less than what we had hoped. I show you how to break free of all that holds you back, move forward with all that God promises, and live the adventurous faith of bold believing. It’s time to TAKE HOLD of all that Jesus has already taken hold of for you and placed in you! Click on the book cover to download a sample chapter and view a quick video. And if you’re looking for a new study for your women’s group or individual study, Take Hold includes a Bible Study guide in the back.

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Comments 28

  1. I’m thankful that He made me a strong person with determination, motivation and great resolve especially to turn to Him in the midst of my everyday battles.

  2. Thank you for such inspirational words, these are much needed for me to remember and apply it to my life.

    God’s Blessings

  3. Sometimes I talk too much lol. I also share too much about my life and the struggles I have. I am thankful that I know God can use those struggles in my life to help someone else. There r things about my past that I wish were different, but they r not those past mistakes r part of who I am today. I can name 2 mom’s that I know had girls like me… I prayed with them, told them to keep praying, to keep doing the right thing. To raise those girls in the way of the Lord. I told them my story, they had hope. I know one of those girls has completely turned her life around and is completely sold out to God.

  4. I needed this today! I’ve always hated my big ears, but they come in handy a lot! I’m a good listener, & while I may not be a great thinker to come up with solutions to someone’s problem, I will listen all day.

  5. Sharon I think that this article is right on for me. I find myself doing the comparison thing because I don’t think that I measure up. But your article gave me so much to think about and pray about. I have to know in my heart that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God and he gave me talents that he gave no one else. Thank you for the reminder and for helping me to see the honest truth.

  6. God gave me the ability to help others. He has given me a natural ability to understand medical “stuff”. My daughter suffered for over 17 years with multiple medical issues that any of them could have taken her life. I was able to bring her home and take care of her for 17 years! God made that possible! Now my husband is disabled with Parkinson’s and dementia and I am his caregiver. I could not do this without God right by my side. It is not easy by any means. I get angry, frustrated and exhausted but I know God is beside me helping me get through it! Thank you God!!

  7. God has given me a love for my family! I have 2 grown sons and it doesn’t matter how old they are, they are still my babies! My oldest just went through a divorce and watching him go through this has been very hard. The goodness coming from it is his peace with his 2 daughters and the time we can now spend with them. I know God has a plan for his life! Our youngest son lives in Saudi Arabia with his family.He and his wife are international school teachers. They have lived out of the US for about 8 years now. First was China, now Saudi Arabia. They now have 2 children, one born in China, one born in Saudi! Their life is exciting as they travel all around the world and they have made friends all around the world. So, I am grateful for my family and how God has engulfed us as His own. Today I am sensitive to this as my son and his family arrives for the summer from Saudi Arabia! My heart is full! I have learned to enjoy the times we all have together and not think of the times we aren’t together!

  8. I consider it my life’s mission to encourage everyone in making that key truth their personal reality: “Help me to stop comparing myself to others, but to be the best me I can be.”

  9. I am thankful God made me a writer. And female. And blonde. Hey, I like being blonde, it’s part of my identity. I love being a wife, a mom, a girly-girl, a beach walker, a counselor, a decorator, a good cook, a tea party hostess, and sometimes even an inspiration to others. I denounce the things I don’t like about myself. I like being me!

    Thank you, Lord Jesus, for creating me uniquely your daughter. Amen!

  10. I had always told myself I wasn’t a public speaker, that I can’t talk in front of people like others do. Well after much prayer asking the Holy Spirit for guidance, courage, discernment and emotional strength, I now feel I am doing God’s work in the field of addiction education/prevention. I am the Director of Reality Tour for the “Mon Valley” Area in PA which comprises at least 8 school districts. I am the main speaker monthly at the 2 1/2 hr evening parent/child stud education/prevention program. We have just completed our 4th year of tours and plan to continue as long as the need dictates.
    My son Raymond has struggled with heroin addiction for 10 yrs and is now 11 months Drug free.
    I feel God placed it on my heart to make a difference in preventing other families and children from falling prey to the the addiction crises.
    So I’ve learned God did have plans for me to be a public speaker!!!!!
    I’m blessed and grateful for this opportunity to help others. Praise God Amen.

  11. I am thankful that God has given me the gift of encouraging others. It warms my heart to share cards, small gifts, and devotions and quotes thru email with friends.

  12. God has given the gift of patience! No, I’m not perfect & always keep perfect rein on my patience & do occasionally lose it but it does take a lot for me to lose my patience. I thank God for that. I also don’t look at others as how other people may look at them. I see everyone with rose-colored lenses at first until they prove me wrong & even then, I still show them grace because God gives us grace when we don’t deserve it.

  13. I recently deleted my social media because I was feeling so “lame” in comparison to my friends who were all having glorious parties and having babies left and right. It reminded me how BLESSED I am in my home, with my husband, and living a safe and wonderful life. This was so on point for me 🙂 THANK YOU!! I need to kill comparison completely in my heart.

  14. for a while i kept saying I can’t be on the Worship Team, I don’t sing as well as they do. But now i am, and even though they haven’t chosen me to sing the lead on a song, and i have been on it for about a year, I sing because i love Him and I love to Worship Him.

  15. Over the years, I’ve often been criticized for being talkative and I admit that in the past my talking was a coping thing and somewhat because I just wanted to be heard. I felt guilty and ashamed that I couldn’t be quiet and still like some people. And I’ve been attacked for talking. But these past few years, God and I have been working on this. I’m a better listener now–a little slower to speak, but I’ve also realized that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made and God made me with the personality that I have. Because I’m able to talk to just about anyone at any time, I know that God has used me to bless others. God is turning what was once a stumbling block into something to glorify Him. I once had someone give an “impartation” over me and all he had to say was “you’ll be bold”–everyone else got glowing things and that’s all I got. I asked God what that was about and I “heard” Him say, “If you’re bold in Me, you can do anything.” So I am who He says I am!! 😉

  16. Thank you for this today! After much family time over the holidays (which was wonderful), I have spent much time reflecting on how similar my two sisters are (they are both very musically talented, have great talents in quilting/sewing and making gorgeous stained glass, both are very organized and goal oriented, one sister is an assistant director at a local Y and the other sister runs a widow’s support group and wrote an amazing paper on it to get not for profit status). I have been wondering how I missed the boat on all of those things and I guess it is compounded by my wondering what my “gift” might be. I can do a little bit of lots of things, but don’t necessarily feel like I’m really gifted at anything in particular. I have been comparing their many talents/gifts to my lack of them…need to let that go. Thank you again, this was good timing.

  17. I am grateful that God gave me intelligence. Over the years, my intelligence has brought me through in my career, and in my relationships. With that intelligence, God gave me a capacity to be an encourager. God also gave me a great capacity to empathize with others. I can sense when something is wrong with people I interact with, and then encourage them in the Lord. God has developed in me a solid character and ability to love others. I am grateful for all of this. I strongly believe that a lot of these traits are because I sought the Lord fervently, and asked to be the best me I could be. I have fallen prey to the comparison conundrum in my life, and I finally conquered it by believing that we all have gifts, but we all do not have the same gifts.

  18. I have been pushed down by my Dad and was never good enough. Not as “good” as my brother and 2 sisters who were the apple of his eye. I struggled with it for years and then ended up in a co-dependant relationship where he verbally abused me and put me down and told me what to do and when to do it.
    My Dad and I have been talking more and bonding more. Praise God! And my son’s Dad and I are not together but since we have a child together we still have to deal with one another.
    I am so thankful that God made me have the empathy and love for everyone. I see (Or I want to believe) that there is good in everyone. I’m forgiving and I’m kind. I truly care for people. I love that He instilled that in me. I have also found that I am talented in painting and drawing and I have peace and feel so calm when I do those things. GOD IS AMAZING! And I’m so thankful I am fearfully & wonderfully made!!!
    Thank you so much for this Sharon! I really needed this message! God blessed you with being a vessel for Him.

  19. I have been reading and following you for sometime now, I must say that i have been encouraged and inspired. Each time I feel sad or struggling with something and need a word of encouragement I always see a post that speaks directly to what I’m passing through. I thank God that he has prepared you for such a time as this. I am indeed grateful. Tears filled my eyes as I read and ask God to help me stop comparing myself and to help me embrace who he has called me to be.

  20. Thank you I really think am gonna like this book. I am one of these ppl who compare my self to ppl in my family. Never felt good enough the blacksheepof the family. All ways told I was just like my dadwho die when I was 9. Never knowing his side of the family abandoned by bothsidenever belonging never wanted. So hard to believe that God wants me and my own family never did. But reading your words make me believe i can be someone that God might want to use. Thank you.🙌❤💕🤗

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