When Love Hurts

Sharon JaynesConfidence in Christ, Enough, God's love, Trusting God 76 Comments

I’m a guest on Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Podcast today. Click here to listen in on our conversation about Enough and to download a free gift I’m offering her listeners.

I’m also sharing over at Proverbs 31 today. I thought I’d share this poignant moment with you too. You might want to grab a tissue.

“Mommy, Mommy,” Steven cried. “Don’t let them hurt me!”

My son, Steven, was about 3 years old when he contracted a severe case of the flu. His slumped body snuggled listlessly like an old, worn rag doll.

When I carried him into the medical clinic, the doctor quickly diagnosed dehydration and immediately sent us to the hospital.

My heart ripped apart as the nurses strapped my little boy onto a table and began placing IVs in his tiny arms.

“Mommy, Mommy,” Steven cried. “Make them stop! They’re hurting me.”

“No, honey,” I tried to assure him. “They’re going to make you all better.”

“Mommy, help me!”

Steven cried. I cried. The nurses cried.

I could only imagine what was going through Steven’s little mind. Why are these people hurting me? Why doesn’t Mommy make them stop? She must not love me. She’s not protecting me. If she loved me she wouldn’t let them do this. She must not care about me.

Standing in the corner watching my little boy cry, I wondered if that’s how God feels when I’m going through a painful situation that’s for my ultimate good. I cried out, “God, why are You letting this happen? Don’t You love me? Don’t You care about what’s happening to me? Why don’t You make it stop?”

It was a picture I wouldn’t soon forget.

I envisioned God speaking to me in my pain. You don’t understand the reason for the pain. You might think I’ve deserted you, but I will never leave you. You might think I don’t love you, but I love you to the height of heaven and the depth of the sea. You might think I don’t care about what’s happening to you, but I am orchestrating your days and care about every hair on your head. My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts are higher than your thoughts. Yes, I do care about you and what’s happening to you. In the end, this will make you better.

C.S. Lewis, who watched his beloved wife die of cancer, put it this way: “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Because God loves us, He desires our conformity more than our comfort. Allowing troubles, trials and pain is one way our loving God makes that so. No one likes getting stuck with a sharp needle, but if the needle brings healing or prevents greater suffering, it’s just what we need. Faith in Jesus Christ does not guarantee an easy life but a perfect eternity.

I don’t know what difficulties you’re facing today. It could be the toughest time of your life. But I do know that during tough times, the devil will tell you (falsely) God doesn’t love you, doesn’t care about you or isn’t doing anything to help you. Don’t listen to him. Satan is a liar—an opportunist who looks for vulnerable times to convince you to question God’s power, provision and promises.

Here’s my process when those lies wiggle their way into my thoughts:

  • Realize the enemy’s true identity: He’s the father of lies.
  • Recognize the lie: God doesn’t love me.
  • Reject the lie!
  • Replace the lie with truth: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

When we feel like a little kid, thinking our heavenly Father’s standing in the corner not doing anything, we can know He is. Jesus said, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working” (John 5:17b, NIV).

No matter what you’re facing today, remember this:

God loves you.
God is good.
God wants what’s best for you.
God is always at work on your behalf.
You can trust Him.

And that’s the truth.

Heavenly Father, sometimes life is just hard. I’ll be honest, sometimes I feel like You’re standing in the corner watching and not working. However, I know deep down that’s not true. Thank You for never leaving nor forsaking me. You always work for my good even when I can’t see it. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Which of the reminders in today’s graphic did you need to be reminded of most today? Leave a comment letting us know and I’ll randomly select one winner to receive an Enough bracelet. 

Today’s blog post is adapted from my brand new book, Enough: Silencing the Lies that Steal Your Confidence. It’s time to silence the voices in your head that say you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough … or just not enough, period. Trade in self-defeating thoughts for God’s truth that you are an incredible woman of worth, uniquely fashioned and empowered by God! Order today and receive 24 free Truth Cards. Learn more HERE. 

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Comments 76

    1. I struggle with believing he hears me, see’s me and loves me. I struggle with a chronic illness over the past 3 years.. I can’t do or be the wife, mother, grandmother I long to be. I always ask “why?”

  1. “Satan is a liar—an opportunist who looks for vulnerable times to convince you to question God’s power, provision and promises.” I remind myself of that when I see the pain my daughter is going through. You’re words reinforce what I already know, but sometimes forget. Thank you.

  2. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was hold down MY three year old son while an IV was inserted. He had pneumonia, and almost died. I cried as hard as he did, seeing his pain, and especially his bewilderment as he cried for me to help him. 25 years later, I still cry remembering. I see, now, that this must be how my Father feels when I cry out to him, asking “Why?”

  3. God wants what’s best for you! I needed to hear that this morning as I’m on my sixth day of not smoking. I’ve tried to quit many times but always gave up because my addiction to nicotine was stronger than my willpower!

  4. Thank you for the reminders that God is in control. “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

  5. Sharon – with the recent uptick in abuse cases inside and outside the church, this teaching can be very dangerous. Many women are living in dangerous marriages. Both physically and emotionally, even spiritually. If they listen to this type of teaching, I’m
    Afraid they hear, stay. God sees you. He’s doing this terrible thing for your own good. When someone else is doing something evil to them, maybe even their “Christian” husband. We are not to tolerate evil and comform to it. This puts women and children at risk. Abuse must be acknowledged and people uplifted not pushed further down into conformity, whatever that looks like.

  6. love this.. the devil is oh so good at sneaking the lies in… but with God we can say enough. He IS working out all to the good, He loves me and I trust in Him

  7. YOU CAN TRUST HIM! It has been 7 years since we lost our daughter to an accident. Our faith and friends got us through and continue to be a reminder of HIS plan. While several came to know Christ through our message at her funeral there are 2 of her dearest friends who slid further from God. I am still close with them and continue to try to reach them for Christ. This was a perfectly worded message describing Satan’s lies and God’s truth!
    Thank you!

  8. Good morning..your section about the devil wiggling into our thoughts …oh..my…he seems to have a field day sometimes in mine…..thanks for your story/devo today……..

    Have a blessed day…….Kathy

  9. I constantly need to be reminded that God is always at work on my behalf. Even if it is not on my time schedule. Even if I cannot see any change in the situation. Even if things seem to be getting worse. God is always at work for my good. Always.

  10. “God is always at work on your behalf ” I sometimes have trouble seeing God in my hardships and troubles. Thank you for your words and for reminding me- He is there and He is working on my behalf.

  11. You can TRUST HIM.
    Our family lost my beautiful cousin unexpectedly Easter morning and we just don’t understand. Leaning into trusting Him to work all things for our good and His glory and not leaning on our understanding (easy since we have none!), waiting for HIS work and plan to be evident.

  12. Sometimes the pain and suffering we go thru, is from the hands of others and the bad choices they have made. but we find ourselves suffering really more than they do because of certain circumstances. So I have to learn to stop blaming myself for the mistakes of others. God has shown me, that true love will suffer regardless who caused the pain. In my case it was with my grandson, who was raised in a Christian home, when to church all his life excepted Christ at the age of 11. Got out of church after graduating from High School. He met someone they started dating, moved in with her they had two children. When the second child was born, they started having problems, not sure what was happening, then we found out they were both on drugs. I now have custody of the two children, and I am very thankful for that. I love those children so much. but I continue to be threatened by the mother, that the dad sees them more than she does, and she is going to call her lawyer and get those kids back. Knowing within my heart that would not be the best thing for the children. I trust that God will give me the opportunity to keep these kids in a safe place with me. They both say they are trying, but sometimes I see different. The pain and suffering this has caused these precious children is beyond understanding, I often ask, why God these innocent children and myself, did nothing wrong. So why are we suffering. I have seen God in this situation many times and I know He will not let me down. He knows what is best for these kids. The parents will not let me adopt them, So it is all in God’s hands .

  13. From today’s graphic the reminder that God is always at work on my behalf really stood out. Whether it’s a bad day, a day if hurt, or just another ‘plain ole day or boring routine’ my God is still at work! So therefore, is it ever just a plain, mundane day? Wow. No! He is at work. I am set apart for Him! Today is a brand new day in Jesus!

  14. “You can trust Him.” I’ve been struggling with this very thing recently through circumstances involving my grandchild. It’s so hard to understand why things have happened to him through no fault of his own. I know God is good and faithful. I do trust Him, but sometimes it seems my trust in Him is full of holes like Swiss cheese. I’m working on it, though, by recalling His goodness. Thank you for your encouragement today. It’s a word from our trustworthy God.

  15. My mother recently passed and I have a numb feeling that doesn’t seem to go away. I can’t really put it into words but I try to remind my self that she is at peace and that I am not alone God is with me. I am a single mother and my mother was always there for words of wisdom and advice. I miss her but I know because of God my Best Days are ahead of me.

  16. Sharon, THIS!! Wow! This is so good. Thank you, thank you for sharing this teaching with us today. It led me to write a prayer that I will treasure and use when I walk through a hard time where God seems absent. So thankful for you and for your wisdom.



    1. Post
  17. God wants what’s best for me. This is what I need to be reminded of and to hold on to during trials. When things hurt the deep places of my heart it’s hard to imagine God is working out the best plan for my life, but indeed He is. He is often teaching, molding and humbling me to make me more like Him.

  18. That when we are going through difficult times, it seems as if God is not there, when really he is there and we just have to look for him, feel him, and remember that difficulties are sometimes out of our control. We just remember to keep our faith in him and we will get through.

  19. God is always at work on my behalf.

    My husband, now my ex husband filed for divorce after 43 years of marriage. I’ve known nothing but him since I was 18. I have no idea who I am right now and the pain is intense. I feel so very alone, but I still believe God loves me and will not let this pain be for nothing.
    There is beauty for ashes and I will keep holding on despite Satan’s attempts to kill me. Thank you for your writing Sharon, there is always something for me there.

  20. They were all great reminders…all to often the world/satan try to feed us lies about God and want us to doubt Him and His love for us…Thank You for reminding me today that God is always at work behind the scenes…and He will never fail us or leave us …We are secure in His hand.

  21. God is always at work on. My behalf. Thank you for this devotion this is truly needed at this time in my life which feels like it’s the most difficult I’ve ever been through and that’s saying a lot LOL. God bless you!

  22. I needed to be reminded that he’s always working on my behalf. Sometimes it feels like everything is going good for everyone except me. I need to remember this daily! Thank you for reminding me!

  23. I’ve been wanting direction in my life , refuse to give up on my marriage, refuse to let cancer take control, fighting lupus and separation also. I m not one to question the journey I’m on, I call my now my healing journey. I know that he knows my pain and has sent daily goodness in my life. The hurts and the pains inflicted has not change but the encouragement , teachings , promises he’s reminded me and sent has given me the assurance that he’s not just watching over me but speaking into my pains. I know he’s loving me thru all of this. I need his direction and a breakthrough with my husband, our kids are hurting. Your illustration with your son hit it home for me. I’ve been writing poems and want to share them with those hurting and battling cancer. I need my gods intervention and being used more for his glory to the lives I’m surrounded by daily. Any thoughts you may have would be great.

  24. Satan is a liar—an opportunist who looks for vulnerable times to convince you to question God’s power, provision and promises.Faith in Jesus Christ does not guarantee an easy life but a perfect eternity.God loves you.
    God is good.
    God wants what’s best for you.
    God is always at work on your behalf.
    You can trust Him.
    No matter how much pain I’m in God is with me and I will get through this with God by my side.

  25. I really needed to be reminded that God is always at work on my behalf. When things are very hard and I get so very tired and I forget!

  26. I cannot choose one, I needed all of them this morning. I was in the emergency room just a few hours ago. My son is struggling with an eating disorder, and has chosen death over life. I can barely read thru my tears. Thank you for a word of hope on a day when my faith is weak and weary.

  27. It is so hard to watch my daughter go thru such tough times. She is an unwed mother. She is in an unhealthy relationship with a man who is abusive and addicted. He was arrested for battery and she still defends him..She doesn’t feel she is good enough for many things..Thank you for your book.

  28. I wrote recently about the pain being a blessing and learning to count it joy, not an easy thing I know but Jesus endured the cross for us, we are His joy,

  29. Thank you for this timely devotion I read on Proverbs 31 today. Often I have self-defeating thoughts. Sometimes I feel as if I’m the only woman who feels like that and am afraid to admit it to anyone but God. But that’s a lie of the enemy: to make me feel as
    if I’m the only one. It’s obvious that many women, maybe even most, feel this way much of the time. Today I needed to be reminded that God is ALWAYS at work on my behalf. Not just on days when my performance measures up to what I think He would be pleased with. On days when I fail miserably, relying on my strength instead of His, He still is working on my behalf. I forwarded this to a friend who is struggling with this too. If my name gets selected for the bracelet, I will give it to her. God bless.

  30. What I needed to be reminded of most is that God wants what’s best for me. I know that in my heart. When we moved to the town we live in now one of my cats got out the back door and is still lost nearly a year and a half later. He was my one cuddly cat that fell asleep with his head on my shoulder every night and knew when I was sick or sad and comforted me. I’ve had a hard time understanding how that could be a part of God’s plan for me since it has broken my heart. But I do know deep down inside that God has my back. I know I can trust Him no matter what happens and I do. I pray every day for my cat to come home, but even if he doesn’t,’ I will trust Him.

  31. I needed all of those today. God must have had you write that message just for me. I am suddenly doubting the love God is supposed to have for me. I feel that I am just one thread left in my rope from throwing in the towel. Why would God not love me enough to give me a faithful husband, instead of a cheating husband who lies his way out of everything? Our preacher gave a sermon Sunday on how hatred and anger separate you from God and ultimately takes you to Hell. That made me realize that no matter how much I love God, live a Christian life, and study my Bible, I am still going to Hell because I harbor so much hatred and anger against the person who pretended to be my friend but was sleeping with my husband and stealing him from me, both of them lying to me the entire time. I thought I forgave him (I’m struggling with forgiving her), but after the sermon on Sunday, I realize his mistakes and bad choices are taking ME to Hell. (This adds fuel to the fiery anger I am having.) He supposedly has asked God for forgiveness and I know God forgives so his cheating butt gets to go to Heaven, while I go to Hell no matter what. It’s a very deep wound filled with hatred for this person who stole years away from my marriage all the while pretending to be my friend. The Devil comes in all forms. I’m sure it’s the Devil telling me that God doesn’t even love me enough to give me a faithful marriage……..but the inclination that I am going to Hell because of their actions opened the door wide for the Devil to come in and have his way with my heart and my mind. I’m feeling so defeated. Prayers are appreciated ladies.

  32. The devil is a liar, we were just discussing this at my office today. He is the author of lies, but we must remember God is still there, no matter what! Thanks for your devotions!

  33. Wow! I needed this today. I have a big interview tomorrow n and I often get so focused on myself th a t I f or get God’s got my back. He wants what is best for me.

  34. We moved to our forever home to spend our retirement in God’s beautiful foothills in July. February 24th a huge attic fire engulfed our beautiful home. We moved to a rental down the street, unscathed. March 10th God healed my neurological disease at a revival! 3 days later it returned. A week later my husband got pneumonia. Never once did I wonder “Where is God?”, He was right there with us, and still is, teaching us patience and faith! Thank you Jesus for your provision!

  35. The part that touched me and made me cry was the fact that Jesus was there through the betrayal I suffered from my husband he gave me Jeremiah 29 v 11 thank you so much for sharing shared with friends

  36. I know God’s truths. I know He will never leave me nor forsake me. However, there are definitely times I wonder why God has allowed my husband to relinquish spiritual leadership of the home no matter how maany years I have prayed for him to return to a fiery faith and close relationship with the Lord so that we could lead our family together. Sometimes I don’t understand why God woul leave me feeling lonely without close friends or mentors most of my life when I have such a deep desire to share hospitality with people. But I have to know that whatever God is doing, it is for my best. I just hope I don’t have to die before I get to share intimate friendship and many opportunities for hospitality.

  37. Im so grateful that God loves me..I marvel at his unfailing faithfulness toward me..
    Thank you Sharon for being an Obedient Servant of the most high God.
    You could have decided not to write and be a servant but you choose to be an Obedient Servant and for that I am truly grateful because your writings have truly helped and is healing me.
    I was burned in a house fire when I was 2 and the lie of not being ENOUGH has haunted me all of my life.
    I am now 53 years young and still asking God everyday to heal my thought life..
    I have been walking with God for 40plus years and have come a long way..I just purchased your book ENOUGH and I know its going to be a blessing of healing and deliverance..
    Im excited about the journey..
    May God grace and mercy continue to surround you as you continue building his kijngdom thru your writings..
    God Bless

  38. “God is always at work on your behalf” because lately I’ve been struggling to make time to be in the Word and it doesn’t always feel like God is there, but I know He is. Thank you for this devotional so much!

  39. God loves me. Nothing can seperate me from the love of God. No matter what I do or say my Savior loves me. He cares for me He’s crazy about me.

  40. God wants what is best for you! Thank you for this message. I am trying to help a friend who is struggling. This is a perfect message for her and for me. I would love a bracelet for her.

  41. Thank you Sharon, This was spot on to my recent struggles. I needed the reminder that:
    God loves you.
    God is good.
    God wants what’s best for you.
    God is always at work on your behalf.
    You can trust Him

  42. Recognize the lie: God doesn’t love me.
    Reject the lie!

    I’ve lived with these lies in my head for far too long. I know the truth but when things get really hard to accept and handle together, it does feel like Jesus is just standing and watching and doesn’t care.
    Thankyou so much for sharing this truth. I’ve been struggling with my own battles and the same lies not only the enemy is speaking to me but people who are close to my heart who are supposed to be my covering and understaning to what I’m struggling with but are just the opposite.
    8 daily need to train my heart and mind in God’s truth and throw out the lies of the devil. Please pray that I can do this with or without the love, support and understaning of a hard hearted person I conut on to stand by me who doesn’t care anymore.

    1. Remember that our God is the God who sees you (El Roi) and He chose you in advance to be one of His children to do good works.
      I will pray for some one, Judy, to be of soft heart and full of wisdom and strength to encourage you and for Jesus to heal you of this hurt and to continue to trust and have faith.

  43. For me Nancy the truth that I come to nearly always is God is always working on my behalf and my go to scripture if suffering or impatient is Romans 8:28. Super powerful truth but also is praising God at the same time and surrendering.
    Fabulous pod cast! Book sounds incredible! God bless you as you bless others!

  44. Thank you for the podcast. I will be purchasing your book Enough. I’m all the way in Cape Town, South Africa. It’s taken me a while to work through my hurts. I am still working through them and I know God will heal me and I know I will be Enough

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