What Do You See When You Look In the Mirror?

Sharon Jaynes Confidence in Christ, Enough, Identity in Christ 15 Comments

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Someone who’s not enough, or someone who is more than enough because of the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross and His Spirit in you?

I was in the sixth grade when I first ventured into the House of Mirrors at my hometown county fair—a mere 12 years old. My friends and I ran from booth to booth, suckered into paying good money to play rigged games. For hours we gave cash to shady carnival characters in hopes of winning a stuffed purple polka-dotted snake, an oversized tie-dyed teddy bear, or a cheesy piece of jewelry we’d never wear. Personally, I stuck with Pickup Ducks—a sure win.

But of all the sideshows at the carnival, it was the House of Mirrors that captured my attention.

We walked through maze-like halls, giggling at the distorted images of ourselves. Short and stubby. Tall and lanky. I looked at the various versions of me and tried to decide which one I liked best. See, deep inside, in a place no one knew existed, I was in search of another version of me. I did not like the one I knew best.

Now that I’m older, I realize women all around the world have grown up with a distorted view of who they really are. They look into the mirror and see words that don’t match up with the truth about who God created them to be.

They look into the mirror of value and see the word worthless.

They look into the mirror of success and see the word failure.

They look into the mirror of intelligence and see the word stupid.

They look into the mirror of competence and see the word inadequate.

They look into the mirror of acceptance and see the word rejected.

They look into the mirror of confidence and see the word insecure.

They look into the mirror of comparison and see the word inferior.

They look into the mirror of performance and see the words not good enough.

They look into the mirror of sufficiency and see the words not enough…period.

Many women live in a house of mirrors, believing distorted interpretations of who they are—and the devil polishes that mirror of deception every day to keep it shiny.

I know the House of Mirrors well. I grew up there. Lived there for years.

For decades, feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and inadequacy held me captive to a “less than” life. I was misshaped by the words of others interpreted by a needy little girl who just wanted to be accepted and loved.

You might expect me to say, “But then I met Jesus, and all my insecurities miraculously disappeared.” Oh, I wish that were the case, but that little insecure, lost girl grew up to become an insecure Christian woman. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-thirties that I began to come out of that house of mirrors and look into the only mirror that really matters: God’s truth.

The Bible says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” (Romans 12:2). When I was in my thirties, an older woman in my church told me it was time to renew my mind with the truth of who I was, what I had, and where I was (my position) as a child of God.  She encouraged me to make a list of my true identity. I had read those verses scattered throughout Scripture before, but when she encouraged me to cluster them all together, God began a new work in my mind and my heart.

You are a saint.

You are chosen.

You are dearly loved.

You are holy.

These truths were right there on the pages of my Bible in black and white, and a few in red.

You are reconciled through Christ’s life.

You are justified by Christ’s blood.

You are free from condemnation through Christ’s death.

You have the mind of Christ.

You can do all things through Christ.

I knew the verses were the infallible Word of God, but I felt rather squeamish hearing them, reading them, believing them. But I had a choice to make. Was I going to believe God told the truth?

I decided that even though the verses about my true identity as a child of God felt uncomfortable, I was going to believe God. And that’s what I’m challenging you to do today. Let’s do it together! Let’s decide to look into the mirror of God’s truth—to silence the inner critic that holds us hostage and silence the lies that steal our confidence. Let’s renew our minds with God’s truth and look into the only mirror that matters.

Heavenly Father, sometimes I tend to believe the lies from my past rather than the truth of Scripture. Help me to renew my mind with Your truth and see myself as you see me, no matter how beautiful it may be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

What is one biblical truth that you can use to combat the lies that feed your greatest insecurity?

Do the voices in your head say you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough…or just not enough, period? It’s time to stop listening to lies that sabotage your confidence and embrace the truth of who God says you are. In Enough: Silencing the Lies that Steal Your Confidence, I expose the lies that keep you bogged down in shame, insecurity, and feelings of inadequacy. By recognizing the lies and replacing them with truth, you’ll be able to silence the lies that say you’re not enough and preload your mind with the truth that says you are.
And for a quick reference guide of  Your Identity In Christ, check out the laminated cards that tuck right in your Bible

My True Identity in Christ Prayer Card

Click over to my website and join me in the Mindset Reset—a 7-day journey to transforming your thought life by replacing the lies that steal your confidence with God’s truth.

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Comments 15

  1. I am a saint and I am holy are two truths I struggle to believe. God word is true. I’m going to work on believing I am everything God says I am. He doesn’t say I’m perfect. He says I’m forgiven because I made the choose to accept His gift of forgiveness. If God being perfect gives me forgiveness. (Not a license to sin) then I must accept all of His forgiveness not just the parts my mind allows me to accept. Easier said than done, of course. These words are written to remind me of the truth so that the lies that are so easy to believe can be rendered ineffective.

  2. Yes, A long while ago I was depressed deeply and thought nothing of myself-inadequate, not pretty, unhappy, inferior etc. You get the picture!
    But God , Our LORD JESUS was with me the whole time and sent people, medical specialists, friends from Church, other friends who were kind to help me boost myself up, see myself as a talented and gifted woman. This took many years. I am 66 yrs now and feel like a 30yr old. I dress well always and make sure my hair is tidy even tho’ it’s COVID time & my hair has grown, I try to brush it so it looks stylish. Inside I work on smiling, calmness, Peace, and tolerance(which is a hard one for me).Yes, it takes a lot of work but it’s worth it finally!

  3. Sharon, I feel as if you were talking to me today. My heart is full of regret and shame and I cannot believe that I am worthy, no matter how much I pray and repent. God has been so good to me despite my faults, so I believe his grace but cannot seem to forgive myself. Thank you for this message

  4. Thank you for this wonderful message; something I have been working at for many years. Like many , I will start to slip, thinking negative thoughts about myself, but your message reminds me of how far I’ve come on my journey.

  5. Thank you Sharon! I really needed to read this today! I’ve been struggling with a flood of bad memories both from my childhood as well as struggles I had while raising my 3 children who are all adults now. Two of them are making poor choices in their lives and I blame myself which only complicates my already fragile attitude toward myself. I have made amends to each of my adult children for the wrongs I committed, which were yelling when I lost my temper and over spanking. They like to “lord” the guilt over me by blaming me for why they can’t have what they want in life. My husband and I have been married for 34 years and thank God, we are happy and healthy in how we relate to one another as we both have made personal strides with recovery from our abusive pasts. Even though the wrongs I committed with my kids are not astronomical compared to what I suffered, it is hard to forgive myself and the disrespect I encounter from two of my adult kids makes it even more complicated! I am seeing a counselor now to help sort through it all as family gatherings are unbearable. My husband and I are Christians and the kids have walked away from all that we have taught them and what we have held dear in our hearts! I grieve the loss of not having a healthy family while growing up and I now grieve because of what the enemy has stolen from me yet again with the deception and influence he has in my kid’s lives! I have felt more depressed then usual over this and long for a “healthy” family! Our oldest was diagnosed with border line personality disorder/narcissist which is what my mother had. She is unable to resolve conflict in any way and becomes volatile especially towards me at any family gathering! It does not matter that I do my best to love her unconditionally and have reached out to her to ask forgiveness for any hurt I committed towards her, but she chooses to not forgive me because she enjoys bullying me and trying to manipulate me with the pain she knows I feel. It is hard to tell her that she is not welcome at family gatherings because of how disrespectful she is towards me and her siblings. I am thankful for my understanding husband who puts me first as his wife and holds her accountable but even still, as a mother who loves with her whole heart, it is excruciatingly painful to lose her to this disease. My other daughter just withholds herself from us, keeps secrets about her lifestyle and pretends with us. The Lord Jesus revealed himself to her in a dream when she was 6 years old to say that she was to be a missionary and tell others about his love! Today she is in her late 20’s and has walked away from Jesus lives with a man twice her age who is not a believer. Both my daughters have had great relationships with their Dad and he has been an awesome father to his kids! So, there is no excuse for either of them to blame their bad choices on not having a good Dad or Mom! I pray the Lord Jesus to return soon to right all the wrongs in families and societies who are hurting. Jesus is the answer and I appreciate your emails so much! I have read two of your books and I know God will see me through this. It is a deep valley we walk sometimes and I know from having walked through other dark valleys, the healing of Jesus is the same today! I know in my heart that His grace is sufficient, it’s just I am older now and not as strong as I once was and feel so vulnerable. I praise the Lord for his goodness in my husband and I’s marriage! Blessings to you today! Thank you for praying!

    1. I read your words about wanting so much to have a healthy family, and that is also my desire. I have to trust God’s plan and also forgive myself for any shortcomings in raising my two boys. To live in the past will prevent you from moving forward. Embrace God’s love for you and don’t believe the lies of the enemy. God will protect you!

  6. Sharon , this was timely for me !
    I just had surgery for skin cancer across the top of my forehead, which left a large scare .
    Just one more physical reminder of my insecurities.
    I do not want to continue this constant low self esteem battle and no self confidence. Those battles belong to my Heavenly Father not me .
    Yes I am joining in the 7 day challenge !
    Thank you for sharing your story and Gods truths !
    Full of Christ’s love
    Nancy

  7. Oh Sharon, talk about perfect timing! I have been really struggling with the woman I see in the mirror. I really, really need your 7-day challenge. Thank you so much!

  8. I”m turning 57 on June 9th and I’m still struggling to believe I have a purpose. Trying so hard to figure out where I fit in and why God put me here.

  9. Thank you so much for sharing this .
    It means a lot to me and Came at the right time .
    God bless you

  10. I be interested in challenging a lot of times believing the lyes people tell me because not everyone believes in me and feel like a failure, that my best isn’t good enough. Trying to change my negative thoughts into positives. It is hard to because when i get told over and over again that my best isnt good enough. It is tough, but trying to give to god to help me not believe the negative of what others say about me

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