Have you ever heard someone say, “She’s just a bitter old woman.”
I have. And whenever I do, I know exactly what the person means. The image comes instantly to mind—a woman whose smile has been replaced by a scowl, whose conversations are peppered with complaints, and whose heart seems trapped in yesterday’s hurts.
I don’t want to be that woman.
Webster defines bitter as “exhibiting intense animosity, harshly reproachful, marked by cynicism and rancor.” But bitterness doesn’t happen overnight.
It begins as a wound that never heals because it is never surrendered to God. It takes root when we replay an offense over and over in the theater of our minds, rehearsing what happened, what should have happened, and what we wish we had said. The more we revisit the hurt, the deeper the roots grow.
What you repeatedly replay eventually reshapes your heart.
If ever there was a person who had a reason to be bitter, it was Joseph.
His own brothers threw him into a pit and left him for dead. They sold him into slavery for a handful of silver. In Egypt, he was falsely accused of a crime he did not commit and thrown into prison. Then, when he finally helped someone by interpreting a dream, a person who promised to remember him when he was released, Joseph was forgotten and left behind for years.
Joseph had every reason to nurture resentment. Every reason to collect grudges. Every reason to seek revenge.
But he didn’t.
After God raised him from prisoner a prison in Egypt to governor of Egypt, Joseph came face-to-face with the very brothers who tried to shatter his life. Standing in a position of power, he could have settled every score.
Instead, he spoke words that revealed the secret of his freedom:
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20).
Joseph refused to let what happened to him define him. He chose to see God’s hand above man’s actions. He allowed his suffering to make him better rather than bitter.
And with God’s help, we can do the same.
The only way to be free from bitterness is to release past offenses and refuse to collect them. Collect antiques, Beanie Babies, recipes, or even shoes. But don’t collect grudges.
There isn’t enough storage space in your heart to carry them.
Besides, grudges never stay neatly tucked away. They spill out in our words, our attitudes, our relationships, and our reactions. Whatever fills the heart eventually finds its way out of the mouth.
A friend once told me, “My mother used to be a bitter woman. But then she got Alzheimer’s disease and forgot what she was so angry about. She actually became a very pleasant person to be around.”
His words made me stop and think.
Oh, that we would forget while we are still healthy enough to enjoy the freedom.
Poet Ernest Lawrence Thayer wrote:
For every hill I’ve had to climb,
For every stone that bruised my feet,
For all the blood and sweat and grime,
For blinding storms and burning heat,
My heart sings but a grateful song—
These were the things that made me strong.
Those are not the words of a bitter person. They are the words of someone who has allowed God to transform pain into purpose and wounds into wisdom.
The truth is that hurt is inevitable. We live among imperfect people in a broken world. We will be disappointed, betrayed, overlooked, misunderstood, and wounded. But we get to choose what those experiences produce in us.
Will they make us bitter?
Or will they make us better?
The only way to become better rather than bitter is to extend the same grace to others that God has extended to us through Jesus Christ. Grace does not excuse wrong. It releases our right to keep reliving it.
I’ve discovered that the key to writing a beautiful life story is having a pencil with a good eraser.
One thing I never want someone to say about me is, “She’s just a bitter old woman.”
The time to make sure that never happens isn’t someday.
It’s today.
Father, I know I can’t move forward while dragging yesterday’s grudges behind me. Today, I choose to release every hurt, every offense, and every disappointment into Your hands. I refuse to keep replaying old wounds or allowing bitterness to take root in my heart. Thank You for the countless blessings You have poured into my life. Forgive me for focusing on what I’ve lost while overlooking what You’ve given. Help me remember Your goodness more than I remember my grievances.
Clean out every trace of bitterness and make me a collector of blessings instead of burdens, gratitude instead of grudges, grace instead of resentment. Transform my pain into purpose and my wounds into wisdom. And when I am tempted to look back in anger, help me look up in faith. May my heart grow softer, not harder, sweeter, not sharper, better, not bitter. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
If you prayed that prayer and really meant it, leave a comment and say, “I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.” Let’s celebrate together!
Digging Deeper
I know you aren’t supposed to have favorite children, but this book is my favorite book-child. If you haven’t read it yet, I promise, it will change your life. If you don’t want to be bitter but better, it could change your attitude to see life differently. You won’t be disappointed. When You Don’t Like Your Story (or certain parts of your story). Your worst chapters could become your greatest victories!!!
Click here to watch a video. https://vimeo.com/470367821?fl=pl&fe=vl
And if it’s your words that need a makeover, check out
The Power of a Woman’s Words: How our words you speak shape the lives of others.
Comments 137
This was such a blessing to read!
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman!! Only in Jesus name, Amen 🙏🏿
I did it!
Praying God will help me to be a collector of blessings, not disappointments.
I did it! My the Grace extended to me, I will strive not to be a bitter old woman!
I did it! I wt not become a grumpy old woman.
I did it! I will not become or continue to be a grumpy old women!
I did it!!
I know as a Christian we are to forgive, and I do think I have forgiven him because I show grace. Forgetting the betrayal, especially if it’s after a 22 year marriage. There are some days I still wake up with a pit in my stomach from the trauma. I so badly don’t want to be a bitter woman and find joy and focus on the blessing. That is something that takes a lot of work some days not every day.
I feel your pain and I continue again and again to release ALL of the feelings that are not good for me. Easier to say that do. Praying you are more successful
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman! Life is too short! I want to be a woman that honors God and the story He is writing in my life! Thank you for this reminder! 💜
“I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.” Let’s celebrate together!
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman!
Thank you for writing this today.
I’ve been praying to God to help me let go and move forward. I feel like this is a cheer for me as I begin to rise up from the muck!
Thank you for writing this today.
I’ve been praying to God to help me let go and move forward. I feel like this is a cheer for me as I begin to rise up from the muck!
I’ve heard that there is pain in the purpose and said it aloud about myself to someone else just last week. Turning the wounds into wisdom is new for me and I’m embracing it. I knew it, but didn’t word it in such a way. It MUST produce wisdom, otherwise, I’ll be stuck in the same cycle/trial/testing repeatedly. I don’t want to miss the lesson. Father, teach me. Father, show me. Father, I surrender.
I don’t want to be beitter I was recently wronged by a woman at my work lost my job she is still there I want to forgive but it’s hard want the Good to come out of the bad it’s so hard totally am a believer in Jesus how he forgave
I don’t want to be beitter I was recently wronged by a woman at my work lost my job she is still there I want to forgive but it’s hard want the Good to come out of the bad it’s so hard totally am a believer in Jesus how he forgave
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman
“I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.”
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman! Hallelujah! I am free!
Thank you for these thoughts – a true blessing.
What a beautiful prayer! I prayed it, meant it, and want that to be how I live my life. Thank you so much for your beautiful writing and the reminder to remember God‘s blessings over our grievances. To not focus on losses, but on God‘s blessings that are so much greater.
I do not want to be a bitter old women! I have seen family members become bitter. I have prayed for years, especially after personal trauma that I would not become a bitter old women. I have seen that prayer answered and see the difference in my life and those of family members who are holding onto grudges and are bitterness. I pray for them. Thank you!
I did it. I don’t want to become a bitter grumpy old woman. I have been asking my Father to help me release the resentment and bitterness and extend forgiveness, grace, and mercy to those who have wronged me because I want the same from my Father. I want to experience the freedom forgiveness will bring me. Thank you for your help.
I did it!
Having to become my husband’s caregiver has completely changed my life.
Thank you for this message that I can keep the bitter old woman out, and use this caregiving phase of my life as a time to grow closer to my husband.
I can identify with your comment. I too am a caregiver.
It’s hard. My mom is 99 yoa and I help with her. My husband is disabled and unable to get around without my help.
Thank you! With my Lord’s help, I will not be a grumpy old woman! Praise the Lord Jesus! Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! I love You Lord Jesus!
AMEN! Thankyou Sharon for sending this today!! I did it!! Leaving all my hurt, disappointment’s and unforgiveness at the foot of the cross. Choosing to be thankful for the blessings God has given me in my life. Choosing not to hang onto what I’ve lost. Praying for God’s peace and strength to fill me today, and in the days to come. Jesus is my Lord and Savior, and in him I can do all things because HE gives me strength!
I did it! Such a timely post! Thank you!
I will not be a grumpy old woman! I did it! Thank You Lord for sending me a reminder.
I needed this today. You knew exactly what was on my heart.
I did it!
Thank you Lord for answering my prayer
This will be my morning prayer for a long time to come. Thank you for these wise words: “May my heart grow softer, not harder, sweeter, not sharper, better, not bitter. In Jesus’ Name,”
I did it. Lord, I surrender all the pain. Help me not to continue allowing this to turn me bitter. Transform me. Make me better, Jesus.
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman!8
In all honesty I prayed the prayer but I don’t think I will be able to forget what happened. It is with me always. Innumerable times I have said I am giving it to God but it changed my heart and how I feel about the person who was for years unfaithful I don’t think I will never be able to live as though it never happened
I needed this article.
Amen. I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman. Thank you for this beautiful prayer and devotion, Sharon!
By God’s grace, I will not become a grumpy old woman.
I pray that prayer I will not be an old grumpy woman! Thank you this is a blessing that I needed to read today!
I did it! Beautifully written!!
I did it!! I will not become a grumpy old woman!! I am eternally thankful for you, Lord.
I did it!! I will not become a grumpy old women!!! Amen!
Love this message ❤️
I Did It!!!!!!! Praying that I will not become a bitter old woman 🙏🏽
Thank you Jesus I did it. Amen
I did it. Thank you Jesus! Amen
I did it ! I will not become a grumpy old woman !
What a beautiful post this morning. Thank you Sharon Thank you, I for sure never want to be that old woman .
Oh Sharon, I’ve been praying this for a while and there is so much truth in what you say. I’m 77 and I want to be remembered as having “joy unspeakable and full of glory”. 😊. I’ve had so many occasions lately to be overcome with bitterness and resentment but I don’t want to live that way. And only God can change that. I want a new song in my heart.
Oh Sharon, I’ve been praying this for a while and there is so much truth in what you say. I’m 77 and I want to be remembered as having “joy unspeakable and full of glory”. 😊. I’ve had so many occasions lately to be overcome with bitterness and resentment but I don’t want to live that way. And only God can change that. I want a new song in my heart.
I did it, I choose to be better and not bitter. In Jesus mighty name, Amen!
I did it, I choose to be better and not bitter. In Jesus mighty name, Amen!
I did it! I do struggle with letting past hurts color my present and the future. I do not want to be that bitter old women with a negative outlook on everything. I want to be that person God can use and someone people want to be around. Thank you for that reminder today!
I did it!!!! By the power of the Holy Spirit I will not become a grumpy old woman!!!! 🙌🏼🌻 prob 17:22, a joyful heart is good medicine!! 😂🥰
I did it!!!!! Thank you – I truly needed this right now … thank you
l did it.!!! No more I’m l going to be bitter about anyone’s reasons to show indifference towards me. Just going to move on and leave it in God’s hand
I did it. I will not become a grumpy old woman.
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.
I needed to read this!!! Thank you so much!!! I commit to not be a bitter old women and let go of past hurts and grudges.
What a blessing this devotional is, thank you, I prayed this prayer I claimed this prayer 🙏 ❤️
I really like your little sticky note 9f the things we should collect !!!
This is going on my fridge !!
Thank you!!! It gets down to a choice…every day..,I choose joy. I choose Jesus. Every day
I did it! I will not become a grumpty old woman!
I did it!
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.
God has really been working on me. It hasn’t felt good at all and it’s been very difficult. It’s been a long journey but Jesus is trying to help me heal. I’ve carried grudges towards many people that either did know they hurt me or unknowingly. To be honest until just now I didn’t realize that I’ve been reliving this pain over and over by continuing to think about the hurts again and again in my mind. I could feel myself becoming so angry and heartbroken each time I would think these thoughts (and it is so true that it will spill out eventually) even through anger at my children I’m ashamed to say I didn’t know that’s what it was. But so many wounds I’ve needed healing from childhood trauma and into adulthood, and as I’ve allowed God to heal me in these places I’ve noticed the difference.
And I have to continue to do this. some stuff has happened that has brought up more memories and I’ve felt I can’t let it go because I deserve to be upset and I want them to know how they’ve hurt me because if I let it go then I’m letting them get away with it. (wow just reading this it sounds a lot like the enemy) Another situation happened recently that included my husband & it has been driving a wedge deeper between us because I’ve felt so hurt.
but with tears today as I read- I did it!
I will not become a grumpy old woman!
Thank you
you’re book -Enough -has also been such a blessing to me.
I did it! I don’t want to carry all those hurts around with me. I know God can heal every part of my life. Thank you Lord!
Thank you Lord for these words
I’m going through this right now
And I’m trying to forgive and forget 🙏
This has become a struggle for me that I need to let go of my past and give it all to god . I am printing this to read often as a reminder of how letting go and granting grace to those who have hurt me ..
I will not be a bitter old woman in Jesus’ name! Praise the Lord for the healing ❤️🩹 that He gives His children!
I did it! I will not be a grumpy old woman!
I did it!
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old women! Thank you Jesus! Amen
I did it! I will not become a bitter old woman. God is good and faithful every day!
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.
Yes! I did it! With Gods help!
This really hit me. I’ve been dealing with a nightmare person at work for over 3 years. After reading this, I wrote her name in my prayer journal, closed it and said, “God I’m giving it all to you and will choose joy.” Less than an hour later, I got a call that my problem turned in her 2 week notice! God is good! ❤️🙏❤️
How did you know exactly what I was struggling with?!??!
I did it! I give it all to my Savior Jesus Christ.
Thank you Sharon.
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman, in Jesus name. Amen!!!
Perfect timing for what I’m struggling with right now. Such a blessing you are! Thank you!
Sharon, such wise words to keep us from becoming a grumpy old woman! I wish I could send this to someone in particular who needs this message desperately but wouldn’t receive it from me. I’ll pass her off to the able hands of Jesus!
I did it!
“ Transform my pain into purpose and my wounds into wisdom.”-Sharon Jaynes, I love this! Thank you.
2 Peter 3:18-“Grow in the Grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman!
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman! Thank you for sharing this Word of Wisdom.
I will not become a grumpy, old woman! I did it!
I did it! This really hit home today.
I prayed the prayer. It is sooo wonderful to feel the weight off by forgiving. Lord help me to continue to forgive, including myself.
I did it!
Thank you for writing this blessing! “I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.”
I prayed this prayer! Laying down all hurts and grievances at Jesus’ feet. Amen!
I DID IT!!!!
I found this reflection about not becoming a bitter older person meaningful because holding on to painful experiences can sometimes affect how we see ourselves and other people. I like the reminder that choosing forgiveness, growth, and a healthier outlook can be a personal journey that takes time and honest self-reflection. https://www.triggersandphantoms.com/
SHARON, You are a Blessings of a Woman ! I’m a Man, always feeling Blessed and Grateful for your words of Wisdom!
Author
You are welcome here! Truth is truth!
I did it!! I will not be a bitter old, ugly woman! God has been too good to me. Past trauma has a way of showing up at worst times, but God!
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman!
September 1st, 2026, changed not just one life, but the lives of three people and a dog. The impact reached far beyond us and into our community.
That morning, I was walking my 11-year-old daughter to school with our dog when a 16-year-old driver hit us.
In the days that followed, I knew there would be anger. But I didn’t want anger to be what came from our tragedy.
So I called out to our community and said, “Forgive the driver. Let’s stand together and show grace. I am not the only one hurting. My daughter is not the only one hurting. The driver is hurting, too.”
Out of hundreds of responses, I could count on one hand the number of people who disagreed. Instead, I watched a community come together. I watched people choose compassion over anger and grace over blame.
And somewhere in the middle of all that pain, I felt God’s calling in this tragedy.
Forgiveness was given freely and willingly—not because what happened didn’t hurt, and not because the consequences weren’t real, but because I didn’t want anger to have the final word.
God was with us that morning.
And I believe He is still with us now.
Author
I’ve been sorta weepy today, and your email made the tears flow. Your grace wasn’t forgiving something that happened years ago but something that happened two weeks ago. I am so inspired by your grace. What an example of Jesus to your granddaughter, the teen that hit you, and the community. You are an example and inspiration to us all.
The prayer at the end of this devotional, touched my soul and helped to heal my heart.
I did it! I won’t be a bitter, grumpy old woman. I am giving my anger, resentment and hurt to God.
This was so timely! Thank you so much!
I did it! I don’t want to be a bitter old woman. Lord please help me to forgive and to turn my greatest hurts into my greatest blessings. For my good and for Your Glory. In Jesus name, Amen.
So grateful for the gifts God has given to you and that we get to share in your wisdom tidbits… so blessed by your devotions and insights. 💕
“I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.”
I did it! Hallelujah!
I did it!
This was the Best read. I enjoyed it so much. I do not want to be bitter only better. To turn lessons into blessings.
And turn to God to guide me in the journey of my life.
Thank you Sharon for this beautiful reminder.
I did it!
I do not want to grow into a grumpy old woman.
I did it !!
I dont want to be a grumpy old woman.
I did! Praying my daughter reads this also
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman!
Thank you Sharon for this message!
I really needed this!
God Bless you and your ministry 🙏
“I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.” This subject has been on my mind in several ways. Thanks & Praise to Holy Spirit for guiding you to write this article. Thank you for your obedience. And also for my friend who shared it.
It’s been 17 years since my divorce. I’ve remarried and I’m happy. But whenever have to interact with my ex it brings back so much anger and hurt. It’s almost as if I have PTSD. Please pray for a complete healing, I have forgiven just not forgotten.
I did it. I believe it!.
I will not become a grumpy old woman in Jesus name
I prayed this prayer and I asked God to keep me happy. Encouraging and loving towards people everyday that I live. I do not want to be one of those grumpy old women at all. Lord guard my ways and help me to succeed in this for the rest of my time here on Earth. In Jesus name, amen.
I prayed this prayer. Please Lord help me to never become a grumpy old woman that has okay how do I do this? Leave a reply I did nothing but negativity to say or criticism to say about everyone. I love you Lord, guard my mouth guard my heart and help me to always think before I speak. I asked this in Jesus name. Amen.
I did it! I will not, by Gods grace, become a bitter old woman!
Thank you for the challenging word.
“I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.”
Tomorrow I turn 80, My husband left after 34 yrs of marriage 24 yrs ago., I held twin grandbabies that were not breathing and won a battle against cancer.
Yesterday I sat outside with six lovely women, studying Scripture on Grace.
I !eat Mornings with the Master, a group I do twice a month.
James 1:2-4
And John 15:1-12 kept me from being a bitter old wimen!
Author
So proud of you. I know you heavenly father is too.
“I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.”
I did
Oh Sharon, thank you for this much needed reminder. The devil has been pelting me since I was a little girl. I have always tried to be agreeable and people pleasing to gain love and while I know the Father’s love is all I really need, something in me longs for the tangible love of humans. Let me just say while there are blessings for sure, I focus on the many that still drudge up yesterday’s pain. It has as of lately come from a few of my children and that pain is excruciating. I am choosing today to not look on that anymore and let it damage my heart and spirit. I release them to walk their journey without being offended because between menopause and bitterness, it’s recking havoc on this gal lol!! God is too good not to lift up and honor and I refuse to let the enemy dim His light in me!
Author
Let’s stand firm together!
“I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.”
Very timely, thank you
I did it!!! I will NOT with God’s help and guidance, become that grumpy old woman dragging my yesterdays moth infested luggage into today’s fresh beautiful day. AMEN
I did it!!! I will NOT with God’s help and guidance, become that grumpy old woman!
I did t!! Hallelujah! I want to have a heart full of praise and gratefulness!
I did it! I will not become a bitter woman.
At the age of 78 I often tell myself I do not want to be known as a bitter old lady. I continually ask God to adjust my attitude and put a watch over my mouth so that what I speak comes out as gratitude and not grumbling. I have to admit I have alot of adjusting times, especially in light of the way the younger generations have been brought up in work ethics, respect of elders and authority, etc. Thank God for HIS GRACE AND MERCY TO ALL OF US.
Author
Aristotle said the same thing about the younger generation of his day. Hmmmm
I did it! I don’t want to be grumpy old woman thank youJesus
I did it! I refuse to become a grumpy old woman; I choose mercy
I did it !! I will not be a grumpy old woman.
I did it !! I will not be a grumpy old woman
I did it! I will not become a grumpy old woman.
I did it! I have been or rather God has been convicting me to letting go. I have been on a journey of getting rid of anger and bitterness. This post was such a blessing. Thank you. 💜