Disappointment with God Part 1

Sharon JaynesA Sudden Glory, Dealing with Your Past, Dreams of a Woman, General Inspiration, God's love, Listening to God, Trusting God 73 Comments

 “All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful,” (Psalm 25:10 NIV).

I sat on the floor playing a card game with my young son. It was shaping up to be one of the best summers ever. Steven was savoring every minute of the long hot days, our Golden Retriever, Ginger, had delivered seven adorable puppies, and after years of negative pregnancy tests and doctor visits, I had a new life growing in my womb.

In the middle of enjoying the moment with Steven, I felt a warm, sticky sensation that made my world stand still. A trip to the bathroom confirmed my greatest fear.

Later that day, as I sat in the doctor’s office listening to his condolences for the loss of this much-prayed-for child, all I could think of was God, how could you?

I drove home. Climbed into bed. Pulled the covers over my empty womb and my empty heart and cried. I was mad at God. If this is how You love me, then forget it. I gave God the silent treatment as if I could somehow pay Him back.

God and I had a lover’s quarrel that summer. Actually, I was the only one arguing. I was mad. I was hurt. I felt betrayed by the One who was supposed to love me most. But He stayed right by my side, waiting, wooing, and eventually drawing my broken heart back so that He could heal it once again. His passionate pursuit and relentless romance continued.

Even though I was mad at God, I knew in the deepest parts of me, that He did love me and that He was somehow going to use all this pain for good—but I sure didn’t like it.

Ann Voskamp, in her book One Thousand Gifts, wrote: “I wonder…if the rent in the canvas of our life’s backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see. To see through to God.” This was a see-through place, but until I opened my eyes, I would not see God.

[tweetherder][/tweetherder]Could it be that the puncture wounds in the canvas of your life—the losses, the disappointments, the crushing blows—might actually become the rent places of the soul through which you can see God? Through which you can peer beyond your earthly trappings into glory moments beyond? Through which you can see His light bursting through the openings? I believe they could be.

How do we allow life’s difficulties to become see-through places? How do we begin to see moments of sudden glory burst through the puncture holes in the black backdrop of our greatest disappointments and pain?

Join me tomorrow as we look at this tough question together. For now, ponder today’s truth:  “All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful.”

Let’s Pray

God, I’ll admit, sometimes I get mad at You. Sometimes I am disappointed. Please forgive me. I know You always have my best interest in mind. Even in tragedy I trust You. As David said in Psalm 25:10, “All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful,” whether I understand them or not. Trusting You, Amen.

What do You Think? 

Today is a toughie. What is one time you were disappointed in God?

What lessons did you learn from the disappointment?

How are you more like Jesus because that particular issue didn’t turn out like you thought it would?

Consider writing Psalm 25:10 on a note card and committing it to memory. If you’ll commit to memorizing it with me, leave a message that says,  “I’m in.”

 Want More? 

Sometimes the most glorious moments of seeing God occur on the dark backdrop of difficulty. If you long for something more in your relationship with God, it could be that He has a boatload of blessings to show you…if you’ll just open your eyes to see. Want to learn more? Check out my book A Sudden Glory: God’s Lavish Response to Your Ache for Something More. And if you’d like to learn more about how to use what you’ve gone through in the past to minister to others in your present, then check out Your Scars are Beautiful to God: Finding Peace and Purpose in the Hurts of Your Past. You’re not alone, girlfriend.  God has an amazing plan!

 

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Comments 73

  10. I’m in! And I just received those books in the mail, yesterday. I had placed them on my wish list on Amazon, and my husband ordered them without my knowledge. He never does that, so I was thrilled and amazed. Unfortunately, there have been many times when I have been disappointed with God. Even now, I am somewhat disappointed. My husband and I don’t have the best relationship, and I have been wondering why God told me to marry him. I am still learning what the lesson is, but I know this, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 I consider myself blessed to have found your page.

    Reply

      1. He is starting to come around. He’s a good man, but he has issues I don’t wish to expound on. God is working in both our lives, and that’s what matters. 🙂

        Reply

  19. Dear Sharon, thank you for sharing. It reminded me of a time in 1976 when I too was so very disappointed that I was not pregnant. What I learned after I got through being disappointed was, to cherish the one son he had given me. That He had done many miracles in my life from saving my husband and me, to restoring our marriage and calling us I to full time ministry. God is good and His ways and thoughts are so much greater than ours. Blessing,
    Mavis

    Reply

  21. I’m in. Been trusting God for a job for 2yrs now and some times it gets challenging. Sometimes I feel betrayed by God even when I know that all things work together for good to those that trust Him. Started this year and all I could hear from God was simply “praise me” which is exactly what I’m doing. January is my month of praise. Everyday I find something to thank HIm for. It’s tough but I’M IN. Thank you for that honest piece

    Reply

  26. I’m in….I experienced a similar scenario, only to get pregnant again 9 months later (this is after 21 years mind you), as my son is 23 & daughter is now 21, GOD is able!!

    Reply

  27. I can very well relate to your story of loss. When my dad passed away, I got mad at God. I asked HIM, “what kind of faith do you want from me? I trusted You and knew YOU were gonna heal him, but You didn’t!” I stopped reading my bible, going to bible studies and just moped. Until one day, I heard HIM, loud and clear. HE said, “this is how you will treat me? after ALL the blessings I gave you. Just this time you didn’t get what you want and you turn your back on me? You’re acting like a spoiled brat!”. I suddenly realized…it’s true! How can I forget everything else? After that, God, in HIS faithfulness, led me back to HIS arms. I went back to bible study groups and I have been stronger in faith eversince!

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  34. I am in. I have been struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss and have felt much anger. I need to stop being angry.

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  35. I’m in! I too, sufferred disappointment from God– After 18yrs of praying scripture & believing God would deliver my husband from something destroying our marriage & then I lost my dad, I gave up on God. He let me go & turned me over to my depraved mind because of my stubbornness & I gave in to destructive behavior that hurt many. It took me 7yrs to get back to realizing MY BIGGEST MISTAKE was turning from God. And just as He promised, despite my sins, He was there waiting for me to come back with His open arms of love! After a total of a little over 20yrs of praying, my husband has been delivered from that specific issue, God is growing us both in ways we could’ve never imagined & continues to help us as He delivers us through many other things (my husband comes from a horrible background of physical, emotional, & sexual abuse, so with his baggage & mine, we have a lot to get through). Through all that, I learned the hard way that a branch not attached to the Vine begins to whither & die, so for me, I now “stay attached” to the Vine. We don’t always know “why” things happen or continue, but we can “CHOOSE” to believe that He IS FAITHFUL & that He has GOOD PLANS for us out of whatever circumstances we are in! Faith is choosing to believe that which we cannot see. I learned that God’s deliverance for me doesn’t mean I don’t go through it, it means as I go through it I have Him with me & I can have His peace during the storm IF I choose to focus my eyes on Him & not the storm! I want to encourage others to “STAY FOCUSED ON GOD! LET HIM WORK ON CONFORMING YOU INTO CHRIST’S IMAGE, TRUST HIM, & DESPITE WHATEVER’S GOING ON HOLD FAST TO GOD’S WORD–DON’T LOSE HEART!” God’s ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts, but he does know what’s best for us to accomplish His plans!!
    Thank you, Sharon, for your ministry!

    Reply

  44. I’m in! It is awesome how GOD ALMIGHTY has been using the girlfriends in GOD Ministry to touch my life and answer my questions! This weekend I was depressed and Mary Southerland’s message was based on, “Coming out of the dark Part 1 & 2”!
    Then today I just got news of a close family friend who has to carry a child who has holes in his/her precious little body.. your devotion spoke to that and I have a friend at my Church who went through the same circumstance and her husband wrote a song about their baby boy who they carried full term but peacefully went to live with JESUS!

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  50. I’m in. I no longer get mad at God; after 7 months of big burdens one after the other I just need Him to be near in order to be at peace. And I have some amazing times with Him; still I feel like I’m missing something… Maybe I’m taking my troubles to Him an not casting them to Him or maybe I’m just too sad to see how He is working. I know He is near, He counts my everytear… I just need more of Him to take me through my pains right now… Looking fwd to tomorrow’s devotional.

    Reply

  52. I’m in. When I was pregnant with twin girls, I was ecstatic and felt doubly blessed. When I lost them at five months gestation, I was devastated. So angry with God. Was this the way He showed love? How could He be good? Now, 25 years later, I have often seen the goodness of the Lord. I soon realized that though I wanted to run from God, what I really needed was to cling to Him. He never leaves!

    Reply

  58. Wonderful message! I do not have children but this story has encouraged me a lot concerning other things in my life. To lose a baby is not something pleasant and cheerful but to lose your health and your time is also not a pleasant and cheerful thing.Thanks for the wonderful message and the encouragement and the revelation. God bless, cheers.

    Reply

  67. I love this excerpt:
    Ann Voskamp, in her book One Thousand Gifts, wrote: “I wonder…if the rent in the canvas of our life’s backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see. To see through to God.”
    It just touched me in a very deep way.

    Reply

  68. I am happy that God sees me most of the time. However, sometimes I am not so happy. When I don’t do the things that I should, or when someone really gets me so upset. Even though thoses time are not very often, I do wish the Lord will help me to eliminate those times. While I am not happy about where I am, I do thank God that I am not where I was when I started. To God be the Glory

    Reply

  69. I’m in! Your devotional spoke all the words that were on my heart. You detailed every emotion that I was feeling. One week before reading your devotional, the doctor confirmed my second miscarriage. I was devestated, confused and hurt. Two days before reading your devotional, I cried out to God for help. And He answered my prayers! I was in a dark, dark, place. Without a doubt, I believe that your devotional was sent by God himself. I cried as I read it over and over again in pure amazement. Talk about “Sudden Glory”!!! Thank you so much for sharing your story!

    Reply

  70. I’m sometimes disappointed in God too. After being divorced 16 years and raising my boys alone, a godly man entered my life. We were married 2 months when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Not to mention I was given the news on my birthday. I am in stage 3C. Anyone who knows the stages will realize I was 1 step from stage 4. The doctor had told me there wasn’t much you can do for a stage 4. So now I have to take every form of treatment. I’m in my first set of chemo treatments. I was upset with God at first, then I realized nothing comes to me that has not gone through His hands first. I don’t know why this has come to me, but I pray that God allows me to see His glory moments throughout this ordeal. I told my boys that IF this cancer should take my life, it’s because God has called me home and NOT that I lost the battle to cancer. It also doesn’t mean satan won! My biggest disappointment has been not getting to have a honeymoon with my husband. I hope to get one after July when treatments are over and I can have reconstructive surgery. I could stay mad but I choose to walk with God. I’m so thankful He sees me!!

    Reply

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