My son was about seven years old when we took him up to the mountains of North Carolina to go snow skiing for the first time. For hours I instructed him in my best teacher voice how to stand up, ski down, and get up once he fell. After several hours, it appeared he was not getting the hang of it at all.
“Mom,” Steven cried, “If you just quit telling me what to do, I think I could get it.”
“Fine!” I said in frustration. “Go ahead and do it your way!”
And you know what? He did. Thirty minutes later Steven was cruising down the slopes with ease. Swish to the right. Swish to the left.
The problem had not been Steven not getting it. It was me not getting it. My continual instruction was hindering Steven from working the maneuvers out on his own. The day started out being a skiing lesson for Steven, but ended up being a parenting lesson for me.
Sometimes the most powerful words are the ones we choose not to speak. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…a time to be silent and a time to speak,” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,7). A wise woman learns the difference.
In the Bible, Esther is a wonderful example of a very wise woman who knew that timing was crucial. After much prayer, fasting and deliberation, she went before the King to make a petition for her people. It was an important request as the entire Hebrew nation was at stake. Rather than grovel at the King’s feet in dismay, she very calmly invited him to dinner. When the King attended the soirée the following evening, once again he invited Esther to make her request. Once again, she invited him to dinner the following evening.
At the second dinner party, the King offered yet a third opportunity for Esther to make her request. Finally, Esther revealed the evil Haman’s plot to annihilate the entire Hebrew nation, which included her life as well. It is an amazing story, and I encourage you to read the book of Esther for yourself.
But here’s a lesson among the drama. Esther had a very important request for the King. And yet, it was all about timing. Sure, she could have made the request the first time she approached the King and he extended the golden scepter in approval. Yes, she could have made her request at the first dinner party when he offered her anything she desired, “up to half his kingdom.” But there was something in Esther’s spirit that caused her to wait. The time wasn’t quite right.
Even though the Bible doesn’t tell us directly, I believe that Esther was listening to God. I believe the Holy Spirit was telling her to wait. Because she asked herself the question, to speak or not to speak, and then spoke when the time was right, the entire Hebrew nation was saved. That is the power of a woman’s words offered at the right time.
Lord, sometimes I talk too much. Help me know when to speak and when to keep silent. And Lord, give me the self-control and courage to do both. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
What is one time that you kept silent and you’re glad you did? Leave a comment and let’s share.
Bonus: Here is a fun verse to ponder. Job said, “I put my hand over my mouth.” Give it a try. I bet your hand is a perfect fit!
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Comments 30
Hi Sharon, I had this happen to me at work with a coworker, she had said something about me that upset and made me angry and I was on my way to confront her but God had other plans cause when I got to her and went to open my mouth I lost my breathe and couldn’t breath so I walked away . I have forgiven her but God has moved me around in my job so I don’t have to deal with that situation again or her cause we have 2 very toxic people in our team and the holy spirit has locked my mouth anytime that I come in contact with these 2 individuals. I thank god for this cause I would got in trouble and I will not give the devil any more lead way it’s not worth it
Author
What a cool God story!
The one time I did NOT speak but remained quiet was a Tuesday night in Sept. of 2004 when my husband said he was going to leave me on Friday . For 26 years I never kept quiet . I was jealous, angry, bitter, hurt, wanted revenge , insecure , and that drove him to leaving me . But the LORD spoke to me and said DO NOT SPEAK ….When I opened my mouth , no sound came out. 3 days prior to his leaving I spent 7 hours in my room with a closed door and said to the LORD , ” I will not leave this room until you have changed me , spoken to me and you go with me and help me to let go of all my anger, my jealousy, my hurt and forgive and let happen what needs to happen to make me the person YOU WANT ME TO BE at any cost ! When my ex came to the house 3 days later on a Friday Sept 17. 2004 to get his things, he spoke very mean, unkindly words and with alot of anger and I could not open my mouth to say a word . He said , ” oh now you’re quiet but for 26 years you couldn’t keep it to yourself “. And he said ,”oh now, you open the blinds when for 26 years you could not open your blinds without being jealous of the women walking past” . Why now ? What’s changed ? He left , slammed the door and that was the last time I saw him , but I was able to write him a very nice letter explaining how GOD had delivered me in that 7 hours of all that I could not give up on my own . HE showed me where the problems were , what HE had in store for me and how I needed to respond . I have forgiven myself, I have forgiven him and told him ” Im moving forward with GOD alone to be my husband, my helper, my friend, my advocate, my comforter and I’m sorry it has come to this for us , but GOD wants better for us both . ” It did not bring my husband back , but it freed me of all that I could not let go of on my own . It made me the Spirit filled follower of Jesus that I am today with peace, love, and no more unforgiveness, no hurt, no anger , no jealousy, no retaliation or selfishly lived life, but now I am free of all that and GOD is using me to help other women who have been where I was as HE brings them to me one by one . God told me HE would use me for this purpose and I was NOT to go looking for them , but HE would bring them to me iin HIS time . HE has been faithful and has restored to me all the years that the locusts have eaten of my foolish ways. GLORY TO GOD ALONE !
Author
What a victorious story!
Thank you for continuously sharing the good news of Jesus. This resonated with me. Sometimes I talk too much. I need to be quiet. The Holy Spirit will guide me, obedience is better than sacrifice. Thank you!
One time my supervisor took me to the managers office to tell him that I left early without letting her know, which was not true. I had left a note on her desk. As I opened my mouth to tell him she was lying, he put his hand up for me not to speak. So I kept quiet, but inside I felt “But she’s lying!” However, after she finished speaking, our manager said to her, “Val, DID leave you a note telling you she was leaving early. I saw it when I came to your office looking for you.” I will never forget how the Lord fought for me that day! If we will just hold our peace and let the Lord fight our battles, Victory shall be ours!🙌🏽💖
Author
Oh I love that story!!!!! It’s always so much better when Hod defends us.
Thank you for resending the devotional to me! I can open them now! I appreciated the thoughts today. I needed this reminder!
I love the book of Esther. Yes I always ask God to put guard over my mind and my mouth. Nothing sharper than the tongue.
Today’s reading is a great reminder to quit telling/suggesting what to do to my son Andy who is in rehab once again.
I pray he does “get it” this time around.
He is a 33 year old alcoholic and has been on this roller coaster to recovery for over ten years.
Every day I pray and turn him over into Gods hands.
I recite this verse every morning.
“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” Psalm 141:3
Thank you, Sharon! At 72 I still needed this reminder!
Thank you for this timely article. I pray the examples of your skiing story and the obedience of Esther will be reminders of the importance of timing when choosing when to be silent and when to speak.
Thank you Sharon for this sweet story!
I do love the book of Esther, and as I get older (72 now), I find myself asking God for His direction and the words that come through my mouth will be from Him!🙏
Amen
Wow. This here spoke to me cause I struggle with being silent when I know I am correct or when I want things my way. Thsnk u for sharing. Lesson learned 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Hi Sharon. Thank you for sharing this story. I pray that the Lord teaches me how to be quiet sometimes and talk when the opportunity is in his timing. God blessed you.
Writing this from Kingston Jamaica. I wish I had read this earlier today cause it would have helped me to keep my mouth shut with my son.
Reading what you said about what your son said you moved me deeply. I definitely have go to go read the book of Esther
Oh my! BINGO!!!
I had reprimanded a young woman who had lied to me about a commitment she failed to keep. The truth would have been a much better choice of course, and her real reason totally understandable. She shot back more lies and basically told me to mind my own business.
This morning, the Lord prompted me to apologize and confirm that He will direct her paths in her relationship with Him, not me.
ALWAYS wait and pray and wait ( like Esther).
Eating crow for breakfast is not a tasty meal.
Thank you for the timely message.
Author
I’ve eaten crow many times!!!!! Yucky
Thank you. I needed this today and will remember it every day. I’m praying to Our Lord and Holy Spirit to know when to speak and not to speak.
I’ve read your book “The Power of a Woman’s Words” twice now…and will read it again! How I wish I had read it about 20 years ago! My husband and I have good relationships with our children, but I have shared excerpts from the book with him and it has changed how we communicate with our adult children. We’re cheerleaders now, and what a difference it has made! My dad’s advice was that you cannot unspeak words you’ve spoken, but you can always speak thoughtful words at a later time if necessary. I still blow it at times, which is why I’m keeping your book to reread 😂 My next challenge is not just NOT to speak words of destruction, but TO speak words of hope! It’s amazing what a difference genuine words of affirmation do for a person no matter their age or occupation.
I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when it comes to my grandson. he’s 16 and doing nothing with his life right now it’s summer I understand that but he doesn’t seem to have any motivation and I have pondered in my mind all these scenarios how I’m going to help him and tell him what to do well God’s telling me to be quiet and pray on it before I say anything and I’m going to do just that God always sends me something for the situations I’m in thank you
My boss had told me before I left for surgery he expected my letter of resignation when I returned. I prayed for guidance and opened the Bible – Ecclesiastes “”when the wrath of the ruler rises up against you, forsake not your position and remember kindness abates offenses.” Upon my return he asked for my letter. I calmly told him “I called the Dept of Labor and was told if I did not want to resign I did not need to submit a letter.” I smiled. He looked perplexed. “Furthermore,” I said. “Maryann will not be back until the end of the month.”(I was covering for her as well). He said okay and I went back to my desk.
I say this verse a lot when I need to be quiet. Psalm 141:3…..Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord, keep watching over the door of my lips.
I have been learning to just honestly stop talking so much and to listen to others without interrupting. This was such a great reminder that God is working in me. Thank you!
Hello Sharon,
Thanks again for a beautiful reminder how to conduct ourselves daily in the outside world. I have been praying lately more to ask God to be my mouthpiece to others. We are so Blessed!!
My son Elon has been battling alcoholism for quite some time. Recently decided to go to a detox center.. there are times when I have become upset and said things out of desperation. Your words have come a perfect time for me to pray more and seek the right time to say the right things. I covet your prayers and I’m very grateful for all the wisdom you share freely.
I remember suggesting something to my husband Russell. He told me,it wouldn’t work, instead of arguing with him. I let it go! A few weeks later,he came to me and ask me how this would work? But the end,he said that I think someone told me that! It was exactly, what I told him! I didn’t tell him, I told you that! I just smile and he smile back! We move on forward from that!
It’s so good to have the reminder of Esther every once in a while! Thank you!
Just yesterday, I thought I was doing a good thing by copying and pasting a devotion I had in one of my devotional books. My intention was to pass it on to two people that I love dearly. I typed a short little message in the text box to accompany my copy and pasted devotional and for some reason it kept disappearing every time I tried to hit send! So I decided to start over of course! I went through the whole process again. Nope! Everything froze up and I could not send that message! It was then that I realized God did not want me to send it! I don’t know why because I thought it was an appropriate biblical article to share, but the Lord showed me that I am not anyone’s Holy Spirit! My intention was not accompanied by trying to teach somebody something. It was as much a message to myself, and I just felt like it was a good reminder of how we all mess up and we think our mistake has ruined everything God‘s ever done in our lives, but it’s just a weed that he wants to pull and move on! It was about showing Grace and helping each other move on. But it was not my place evidently to share that information! I’m glad God intervenes, even when my intentions are good and seemingly spiritual!!