She has a name. But in my house, she’s referred to as The-girl-who-doesn’t-like-me-and-I-don’t- know-why.
Do you have anyone in your life like that? In social situations, she steers clear of you and refuses to make eye contact. When trying to reach out, you draw back an emotional nub of rejection. You rack your brain trying to figure out what you did to make her dislike you but come up blank. She just doesn’t like you and you don’t know why.
I’ll admit, it’s easy to let the rejection weigh you down. We tend to give the one person who doesn’t like us way too much heart space in comparison to the many who do. The Bible tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5;43-45), which is wonderful instruction, and we should. But most likely you wouldn’t call this person an “enemy.” She just doesn’t like-you-and-you-don’t know-why.
I want to encourage you in a different way other than trying to figure out the remedy or the why. Let’s change our focus and think about the people who do love us rather than focusing on the ones who don’t.
Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (NIV).
In other words, think on what is the best and not the worst, the good and not the bad, the beautiful and not the ugly, the people who do love you rather than the few who don’t! Your focus will determine your feelings.
Studies show humans tend to think on the negative things in life rather than positive. The phenomenon is called negativity bias. We give negative information more weight or brain space than positive.
But we don’t have to live that way! We can choose to take those negative thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and replace them with the positive ones. When we do, we’ll be changing the way we think as it says in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (NIV).
Stop right now and draw a circle on a piece of paper. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Now, draw a dot in the middle of the circle. What do you see. Most people say, “a dot in a circle.” And that is one way to look at it. But what I want you to see is all that space around the dot! That girl-who-doesn’t-like-you-and-you-don’t-know-why is the dot. The space around the dot is the other people who love you, including Jesus.
Today, let’s focus on the positive space rather than the negative dot. As Paul goes on to say in Philippians 4:9, “And the God of peace will be with you.”
Heavenly Father, thank You for giving me people in my life who love me. Help me not get stuck thinking about the few who don’t but be thankful for the ones that do. Knowing that You love me means everything. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
How do you think it changes someone’s heart to focus on the space filled with those who love them rather than the dot? Leave a comment and let’s share.
Digging Deeper
Perhaps one of the most important book I’ve written about God’s love is A Sudden Glory: God’s Lavish Response to Your Ache for Something More. In the pages, I show how God romances us and lavishes us with blessings. For too long we’ve asked, “What does God want from me,
” when the better question is “What does God want for me.” Let’s discover that together. Get your copy today!