I was having lunch with a group of friends when one gal made a derogatory comment about another from the group who was late. I gave her that “motherly look” that letting her know the comment wasn’t appropriate.
“Well, it’s true,” she said.
“Just because something is true doesn’t mean that you should say it,” I answered.
Believe me, I learned that lesson the hard way. I’ve spoken up when I should have hushed up and dug up words that should have stayed buried.
I love reading WWII books and watching WWII movies and documentaries. During the war, the War Advertising Council created posters that read “Loose Lips Sink Ships.” The posters were to remind service men and citizens to avoid careless talk concerning secure information and ship movements. The fear was that covert enemy agents might hear the comments, intercept the war effort, and destroy the ships.
The truth is, not only do loose lips sink ships, but loose lips also sink relation-ships.
In Numbers 12, we read about how Miriam’s loose lips almost destroyed her relationship with her brother, Moses. She gossiped about his wife, questioned his leadership ability, and stirred up trouble among the Israelites he was leading. God tied her tongue with a weeklong case of leprosy, but I’m sure their relationship was never the same.
Solomon wrote: “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19).
“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:28).
Whether the subject is gossip or grumbling, tearing down or tearing apart, silence is the golden key that keeps the door to destructive words locked away. And sometimes the most powerful words are the ones we choose not to speak. A moment of restraint can save a boatload of hurt.
The book of Proverbs is filled with wise words about the use of our words:
[She] who guards her lips guards [her] life, but [she] who speaks rashly will come to ruin (Proverbs 13:3). Ouch.
Do you see a [woman] who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for [her] (Proverbs 29:20). Ouch.
[She] who answers before listening—that is [her] folly and [her] shame (Proverbs 18:13). Ouch.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue (Proverbs 31:26). Ahhh.
The original Hebrew word translated wisdom in Proverbs 31:26, chokmah, also means skill, shrewdness and prudence. A skill isn’t something that comes naturally, but something that is developed with practice over a period of time. When we practice knowing when to speak and when to remain silent, we become wise.
To be wise, we need to THINK before we speak. We can ask ourselves, is what I’m saying:
T – True
H – Helpful
I – Inspiring
N – Necessary
K – Kind
And here’s my rule of thumb: When in doubt, leave it out. Today, let’s give a ten second pause before we give an opinion, an instruction, or a response.
Heavenly Father, I know the death and life of a relationship is often in the tongue. Help me to control of my tongue, to think before I speak. Help me to speak words that are true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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I want to share a video with you that was taken last week. I was able to honor a woman who used her words to speak life and lead me to Christ when I was 14 years old. Doril Henderson is now 94. Click here to view (and grab a tissue).
Looking for your next Bible study? Check out Sharon’s book and Study Guide, The Power of A Woman’s Words: How the Words You Say Shape the Lives of Others. Words are one of the most powerful forces in the universe, and God has entrusted them to you! They echo in hearts and minds long after they are spoken. How will we use this gift? Your words can change the course of someone’s day…even someone’s life. Learn how to
- exchange careless words that hurt for intentional words that help others succeed
- recognize words that tear down confidence and replace them with words that build others up
- overcome the negativity that pushes people away and become a well of positivity that draws others in
- tame your tongue by practicing practical principles that help you think before you speak
- stop being disappointed in your lack of control by taking hold into the power of the Holy Spirit
You can do it! I know you can!
Comments 20
This devotion is so timely. God speaking to me in this time and using you. I have been struggling for a while with loose lips 😉
I know how to move forward now.
Thank you so much for this WORD this morning
Thank you for the Truth!
I was not able to find this story of Miriam in Exodus. Is it possible to send the scripture? I did find this story in the book of Numbers with Google’s help.
Maybe I just need to read the book of Exodus. LOL!
Thank you,
Loved the video of you honoring Mrs. Henderson. Her daughter, Wanda, and I went to Girls’ State together in 1974, and she gave me a devotional called God Calling. I took the book to college with me and still have it today. Wonderful family!
Thank you for this Word this morning. Just a few minutes ago I was praying about how ronrespond and when not to. This was very timely, and a gift from God. Thank you!
What a beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing. Such true words today are spoken
Thank you for this article-I am constantly working on getting better at this 🙏🏻 My sisters and I always talk about this
Thank you! I needed to hear this today.
I always look forward to Tuesdays and your devotionals. Loved the video — got teary eyed. That’s the type of person I want to be and try to be. It’s never too late — I’m 72 but I can still work for the Lord.
My mother always said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Unfortunately that hindered me in speaking up at all. It took counseling to show me that my opinion and thoughts are important. And I try very hard to convey my thoughts in a kind way. I love your THINK acronym.
Sharon your devotional today reminds me of a quote I read somewhere (Maybe Reader’s Digest – my Mom got that booklet every month and I loved reading the quotes) “It is better to keep one’s mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
Do I hear an Amen? Amen! Speaking from personal experience, I have heard some hurtful comments that my friendships with these women have not been the same. I forgave them and I am still in contact with both of them; however, I cannot go back to the closeness I once had with both of them.
Sharon your devotional today reminds me of a quote I read somewhere (Maybe Reader’s Digest – my Mom got that booklet every month and I loved reading the quotes) “It is better to keep one’s mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
Do I hear an Amen? Amen!
DearSharon,I’m a 76 yr old Great-grandmother, We have just been blessed with three Great grand babies, As time goes on I wanted to send each of these Moms your new book for new mommas, After some research we discovered that your books are not available here in Canada and that you do not ship to Canada. It saddens heart because these young Moms would benefit from these devos, I’ve been reading your devotionals that I receive every week, they are very precious to me, Thanks for listening to my rant, Brigitte Mueller
Author
Hi Friend> Amazon has all of my books! So does cbd.com. They do ship to Canada!
I loved the tribute to the woman who led you to Christ. We need to do this in our circles of faith-lift up those who have lifted us up!
Bless you both!
Thank you so much for this Devotion. I’m struggling right now with some issues at work that really hurt me and I wanted to address it this morning but I haven’t yet because I don’t want to say the wrong. I’m just praying and asking God for his guidance. It’s like you said I may not have to even say nothing.
Such a timely devotion and reminder that words can kill relationships. Due to opposing political viewpoints, my husband’s two sisters that have been so close, aren’t speaking to each other since election. I pray the Lord restore them🙏🏼
Thank God for spiritual mothers in the church! 🌺
Thank you for sharing such wise and profound words they really spoke to my heart Gods Blessings upon you
So good this morning. I liked how you put.. loose lips sink relation-ships. So true. I try every day to pray that God give me the words to say, help me be the person I am supposed to be.
I wrote out the THINK- It is something I will practice and pray about.
Thank you!
Thank you for this devotion! I have also learned this lesson the hard way. But lately, I’ve been trying to take that 10 second pause before I speak ( or not speak at all) and it is a powerful lesson, and helps me to tame my tongue. The Lord has been teaching me to not speak in most instances, that way I’m not bragging on myself to others about things that aren’t necessary.