For years we were joined at the hip. Not a day went by when we didn’t talk on the phone at least once.
But sometimes friendships come unhinged. People change. Perspectives change. Purposes change. Passions change. While nothing went terribly wrong, and no hurtful words were exchanged, the void was vast beyond bridging. I felt tossed away. Discarded. Of little regard. Erased as if I had never been. Worthless.
Perhaps you’ve felt that way at some point in your life. It’s a hard “dis-ease” to define. To put your finger on and say, “Yes, that’s where it hurts.” For me, it was a niggling ache. A haunting hurt that shot straight through at unexpected times.
Why was I having trouble letting go? Why were my feet stuck in the sucking mire of memories? Me—the woman who taught others how to leave the past behind. “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead” (Philippians 3:13 nasb).
Yep. I memorized it. I taught it. I flashed it on the screen in PowerPoint Technicolor.
But there was this…
Then I read a book by Mark Buchanan, Your God is Too Safe. He diagnosed my heartsickness with one fell swoop of his pen. That “thing” I had been struggling with but couldn’t define. In it he wrote: “My own deepest heart wounds have been inflicted by people who never set out to hurt me. It was worse. At some point they stopped even caring that what they did would hurt me. I became beside the point. My existence ceased to matter. The importance I believed I occupied in the heart of the other, the place of cherishing I thought was reserved for me turned out to be a myth.”
Just as clearly as a physician who delivers a diagnosis would, Mark laid bare the crux of my problem: I became beside the point. My existence ceased to matter. For me, it was the worst kind of pain. A malignancy that spread and gnawed on other areas of my life.
Now that I had a diagnosis, now that the dis-ease had a name, I was faced with a choice. That’s what God does, you know. He doesn’t reveal a soul-sickness just for the sake of revelation, but always to bring healing…repentance…to help make you well. When He reveals an infectious soul-sickness, one you’ve never noticed or could define before, it’s as if He’s saying, “Now is the time.” When He shows you a lie that has become your truth, it’s time to reject that lie and replace it with His truth.
Jesus understands what it feels like to be of “no consequence” to someone (or many someones). Your arrow of pain shoots straight through the heart, comes out the other side, and finds its mark in the pierced hands and feet of Jesus, the pierced side of Jesus, the broken heart of Jesus. “By his wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).
He gets it. He wants you to let Him take it. Let it go—not just into oblivion, but onto Him. Into Him. Here’s what Jesus wants you to know: You are of great consequence. You are significant. Your existence will never cease to matter. You have great worth.
Stop and do something for me. Draw a circle. Now draw a dot in the middle of the circle. What do you see?
Did you say “a dot?” I did when someone asked me the same question.
But look at all that space around the dot! Inside. Outside.
Now think of the all-encompassing love of God. Above you. Beside you. Under you. You couldn’t get away from it if you tried. That’s the space inside the circle and outside the circle. That little tiny dot represents that person or the persons who have hurt you intentionally or unintentionally, the person or persons you’ve allowed to make you feel worthless. Why in the world do we look at the circle and see only the dot? Why don’t we see the space?
Why in the world do we focus on the one person who has hurt us, or doesn’t care about us, and not on all the people in our lives who do love us? On the God who loves us?
Here’s what I’m challenging you to do: Stop focusing on the dot. Focus on the space around the dot. The dot is just that—a dot! She’s a dot. He’s a dot. God’s love for you, and all the other people in your world who love you—including me—are the space.
Heavenly Father, thank You for loving me. Help me to focus less on what others think of me and more on what You think of me. Thank You that nothing will ever separate me from Your love. I rest in the truth that You will never get tired of me or leave me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
What do you need to let go of today? Leave a comment and let’s share.
Digging Deeper
Are you ready to let go of everything that holds you back from experiencing the abundant life Jesus came to give? If so, Take Hold of the Faith You Long For: Let go, Move forward, Live bold, is just for you. Sit with Moses by the burning bush and listen in on his argument with God to learn 4 key elements to having the mountain moving faith you’ve always longed for!
Comments 87
I need to let go caring about what others think of me.
My best friend of 32 years isn’t very nice to me anymore. Judging my various health issues as insignificant. She doesn’t want to do date night every other week anymore either. Also, my daughter doesn’t seem to want to be around us much and prefers her sons wife’s family over us and we live in the same city! It hurts to be excluded.
I know how you feel. My daughter is the same way and it hurts. My son works all time so. He is not married. I haven’t seen him since Christmas.
I need to let go of hurt caused by my children during covid . Difference of opinion made them distance themselves from us.
Wow! Our God is so good. He knows exactly what we need to hear/read at that the right moment. Thank you for helping to take the focus off the dot and to really see the love of our Heavenly Father!
My God I’ve been feeling like this for so long. My daughter moved to be close to her daughter out of state. I hardly here from my grandchildren, especially my oldest one unless she needs something. My daughter says I get one phone call every week and she keeps stating no one better ask her for, anything. I haven’t asked her for anything but it’s not comfortable at my age to know if I needed help I couldn’t call my daughter. Sometimes it’s so hard to keep going, but I’ve got to believe God has a plan for me. I love Jesus. Thank you for this post. I’m sitting hear crying. Sometimes as a senior citizen people don’t realize we’re still alive and have feelings. I wish it was just a hug from a family member or friend.
Hi Cheryl Kelly,
Praying that you feel the arms of our Father around you and comfort you and give you peace in His presence. God bless.
Cherry I’m sending you a great big hug. I wish I could be with you in person to give you that hug. I’m so sorry you are going through this with your family too.
Dear Cherlyn, I am 74, a mother of 3 grown sons and a Nanny to 2 beautiful grandchildren, ages 9 and 5. My youngest, along with his wide and the children moved 1600 miles away. We were always very close and would text, video chat, etc. But recently it’s as if we no longer exist. No calls…nothing. I was asked not to even send the Easter gifts I bought!
All this to say that I understand your pain. The devil is on the prowl. He will try to turn us and our attention away from the One who loves us the most, by keeping us focused on the hurt that is being caused by those we love. I will be praying for you. Just know that Jesus loves you, and will never leave you or forsake you.
Today, I need to let go of past heartbreak and hurt and choose to release my pain to the Lord God Almighty.
Psalm 55:22-“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you. He will never permit the righteous to be moved.”
My God I’ve been feeling like this for so long. My daughter moved to be close to her daughter out of state. I hardly here from my grandchildren, especially my oldest one unless she needs something. My daughter says I get one phone call every week and she keeps stating no one better ask her for, anything. I haven’t asked her for anything but it’s not comfortable at my age to know if I needed help I couldn’t call my daughter. Sometimes it’s so hard to keep going, but I’ve got to believe God has a plan for me. I love Jesus. Thank you for this post. I’m sitting hear crying. Sometimes as a senior citizen people don’t realize we’re still alive and have feelings. I wish it was just a hug from a family member or friend.
I’m so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. My mom is 80 and lives 1000 miles away and I know that even though my life gets busy, it’s important to make time for her. I won’t have her forever and she matters to me a lot! Not for what she can do for me or anything like that… but just for who she is. I think it’s hard for people to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. So people go about living their lives and yes—they forget about senior citizens sometimes. I’m so sorry. It shouldn’t be this way. Sending you a virtual hug.
A co-worker who used me and then hurt me And she still plays games. I have to go into work everyday and ask God to help me to love her. Asking God to help me let it go and to keep remembering that he will never let me go. Thank you so much for the reminders And God’s word!
Gosh I have such a similar situation going on. My co-worker (who I thought was a friend) intentionally makes me feel excluded and plays games as well. It’s so hard when others’ brokenness threatens to take our peace and joy. Praying for you today, that your heart will be full and rest on the confidence of the Lord. If God is for us, who can be against us🤍
“others’ brokenness threatens to take our peace and joy” Well said.
Amen
I needed this today !! More than anyone will ever know !!! Thank you so much !!! I want to read this daily to remind myself !!
I’ve been struggling to let go of a friend who, I think, unintentionally hurt me. She seems to have moved on without me. I looked up to her as a mentor in the faith but now I am trying to fill the hole she left in my heart. This devotional is exactly what I need to start healing.
Saying a prayer for you
This helpful article was excellent ! I wish my minds perspective could see these truths a long time ago. Thank you so much 🙏
Whenever I have a problem at work and I suggest solutions. Management does not respond. I’m ignored and dismissed. It’s a big trigger for anger and rage from deep inside. I love the reminder in here that I’m significant and my existence will never cease to matter.
This hit home this morning! It does not take away the hurt, but it sure does salve the pain!! Thank you Father and thank you Sharon for sharing and blessing my day🤗.
Thank you for this…this hit home this morning. I struggle with this 24/7. My prayer for myself this morning is that I won’t just see the dot, I will see all the love God has for me all around me.
Thank you for sharing this devotion and I thanked God too I needed this one because of holding on to hurts and sometimes me thinking what I think someone else’s thoughts of me but when I start thinking of things like that I’ll think of the dot and all the love that surrounds your devotions have bee a blessing to me❤️🙏🙌
You know people who you think are Godly may disappoint you. You May feel not important to them and unworthy to them. Tonight I was embarrassed and felt unworthy. I felt a huge weight on my chest and cried coming back from Bible study. For once in my life i felt that a secular activity such as Zumba is more important than Bible Study. Don’t get me wrong, i still love Jesus and depend on Him so much. I’m nothing without Him. It may sound childish but my prayer request was not prayed for. I felt unworthy. The other prayer requests were more important than mine and prayed for. To make it worst I was told to wait because someone had to get something for someone. So, I waited. As I was waiting I felt embarrassed because everyone were leaving and I was the only one left while that someone was entertaining some people. They forgot about me and my prayer request. Everyone kinda pitied me. As I was sitting there I got up and left. I had to go to the stores to get sugar for my mom before the stores are closed and I had to get to the ATM first. So, I left. I was really hurt and felt awkward. I don’t know if I’m going to church or prayer meeting anymore. The word of God is so powerful but with people they can be a big disappointment. No one is perfect. And I’ve been praising God for them because they’ve been a rock all this time. After tonight I don’t think so. There’s always that flaw. Maybe I’m just being too emotional. But yes I felt unworthy and unimportant. I pray for those people that they would see how they favor others more than some people. That it’s wrong and people pleasing. I had a major funeral in my family. It was my Dad’s youngest sister. Usually the church would come and comfort church members who lost loved ones. They didn’t bother to come and convey their condolences or comfort me. Not even a word of sympathy. I’ve been harboring these feelings for a long time and tonight was the last draw. Please pray for me that i would heal. It’s like a big ball in my soul and a burden upon my chest.
Always thank God for all things and watch what will happen to you
Thank you I will
I pray Jesus will comfort you at this time of loss and your feelings of betrayal 😢. Sometimes “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”. Perhaps you could reach out to a leader of your Bible group in private and convey your hurt and concerns. May God give you the answers and comfort you are seeking 🙏🏻
Thank you, I did that. I’m just waiting for her reply.
I am so sorry Madelene that you are going through this pain. I completely understand. I tend to personalize everything that someone does even if the actions aren’t even intended to hurt me. But once I start down that road, everything then that follows can feel like a personal attack to my self worth.
Well the important thing to learn from this is that this is exactly where the enemy satan wants us to be. We can in Gods strength rebuke these lies being fed to us by this defeated enemy. And most importantly do not walk away from your worship and time with God and learning about God. Actively seek a new church, a new Bible and new ways to make the words of Jesus the strongest words you hear.
Know that wherever you are, Jesus is right beside you, sharing in your grief and wanting for you to have joy which doesn’t depend on circumstances. Be bold as the Holy Spirit guides you. Listen only to Gods loving voice. He loves you. Turn to the One who is always faithful. And May He comfort you in your time of grief.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10
I have a problem with changing churches. I’ve tried going to other churches before but this one church where I am currently attending has helped me a lot in my spiritual walk with God. I feel the presence of God there and I have been healed spiritually as well as mentally.. Peoples lives have changed after coming to this church. I go to other churches and feel like something is missing. I would go back to this church and feel content and be on track again. I learned that if there was an issue I should confront the person in love. I wrote her a note on messenger expressing to her how i felt. I hope she replies.
Madelene, my heart hurts with you. You see I have been the inflictor of that pain to one of my friends. I had no idea how something that I did and said hurt her deeply. She finally had the courage to tell me of her pain. Frankly she retaliated with hurtful comments of her own. But when I saw her being mean and aloof to me we had a very frank discussion. It was hard and both of us had to do some forgiving. But to have the relationship restored was worth it. I pray that you would accept God’s strength to be honest and vulnerable to your friend and that your relationship and your heart will be healed. You are worth it!
Thanks. I actually wrote her a note in messenger telling her how I felt. She hasn’t replied.
Prayers
I am praying for you Madeline! Church hurt is the worst! But you are not alone. This has happened to me more than once. I’m encouraged by this article from Sharon! We have to focus on Gods love for us. I also believe he allows things like this to happen to us so we will depend on him and his love instead of the love of others! So don’t stop believing that you are very special and important to Jesus! And he is listening to your prayers!
Thank you Leigh.
Praying for you and for those who hurt you. God is with you, Madeline. He loves you dearly! You matter to Him and He hears your voice! Psalm 55:17 Praying for peace and comfort to fill your soul. Praying you’ll return to your Bible study group and not hold this against them. Praying for your heart to be healed. In Jesus name.
Thank u Soo much for this today! So profound and true!! God bless u and your ministry!
Thank you Sharon for reminding us how much GOD loves us. May we hold on to that truth and let go of the lie that we are worthless.Truly each of us matter….such that Jesus thought of us and willingly gave His life for us. How great is our GOD!
Don’’t focus on the dot in the circle … a timely lesson during a sometimes challenging and emotional visit with my family. Thank you for that visual reminder!
This devotion revealed what I could not verbalize. I want to heal and focus on HIS love and plan for me. Thank you
I feel like this is speaking directly to me, thank you. I can look forward now.
I started my morning holding back tears as I always do. From verbal abuse in a home and from a husband that I keep secret
because I feel no one would believe me. Beautiful home, 71 years old. The pain is unbearable. This devotional allowed the
tears to fall as I cried out to my Jesus. He is my world. Thank you dearest Sharon. You always bless me.
Norma,
I feel your pain. I got married at the age of 20 and now I’m 70, have lived in silence for years of mental and physical abuse. I was raised that divorce was no option. I continued to attend church and raise my children in church. God is and always my stronghold and I have prayed and had my church family to pray for my husband. I will not give up on praying for his salvation. My husband decided to be a Jehovah witness and said I was all kinds of names. Said Jesus didn’t die on a Cross. Norma, God knows everything, he sees it all. Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess that he is Lord of all. I stayed in my marriage for my children to learn and grow in Gods love. Had we divorced they would have been so confused over his belief and my belief. I will remain standing on the solid foundation that Jesus Christ is whom I will serve. The devil tries to steal, kill and destroy. I tell the devil get gone from here, I call the name of Jesus. The devil will flee when you tell him you have Jesus. I so appreciate this from Sharon, I need every word of the gospel. Norma, I pray that you feel the love of our Father above. He loves you! You can call him anytime and he will listen. We serve a mighty God.
Anita~
I had this very experience happen. Someone who I thought was a good friend decided we could not be friends anymore. It hurt because I trusted her. To this day I don’t know the reason why although I have a few suspicions. I did give this to God and the hurt is leaving. I don’t really think about this individual much anymore. God took her out of my life for a reason and I am fine with this. I learned a few lessons also thru this that only God could teach me. I know that God knows what He is doing. I trust God wholeheartedly.
Sharon, you don’t know how much I needed to hear this today. I have a dear friend that I work with in the same department and when I moved offices to another floor it’s like she just abandoned me. This has been going on for several months. We used to talk and text each other and eat lunch together all the time. My heart hurts because I miss her and our time together so much. I do need to focus more on my value to God, but I also need a close friend like her. It’s been very hard as I don’t trust people easily. Please pray for me and this relationship.
My heart goes out to you Kathy. Praying for you that you would find a genuine Christian friend.
This!! All of this! Every word! Every emotion expressed. You formed sentences and brought words to wounds that felt inexpressible. Sadly, I’m too familiar with every word you wrote.
Thank you! Thank you for not pacifying this post in a bunch of “religious jargon”. Thank you for reminding us that Jesus’ promise for healing also include hearts broken by others.
Seeing the words, “You are of great consequence. You are significant. Your existence will never cease to matter. You have great worth”, brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for reminding us of the words and heart of our dear Savior. Thank you for seeing and empathizing with those struggling with pain caused by others. Thank you!
Sharon,
This really hit home! Thank you for sharing!
I am so overwhelmed that what was written spoke loudly to me. It was like Sharon Jaynes is inside my head. Thank you for a redirection of my focus. I need to let go of wanting to be noticed and focus on to that I am already noticed by God.
Wow! My sweet granddaughter chose and adopted me when she was 4. I never married or had kids and we had an awesome, tight relationship. About 18 months ago it changed. She’s 18 and I don’t even get responses from texts, messages, phone calls or anything else. It’s downright painful for this 75 year old single unclaimed treasure.
How right on the nose your devotion is.
Yes I focus on my heart and that person that hurted me. I am trying so hard to let go.
This devotion sums up my life. I have always had many acquaintances, those I have called friends but when circumstances change (they move or vocation changes) I try to maintain contact but it is never reciprocated. I have come to believe that my viewpoint of a deep friendship is different from most and I have never been able to establish a deep friendship with someone. My husband, years ago, told me he didn’t love me, I knew something was missing when we took in some children and he was able to connect with them so deeply but not with me. Things are much better with us now and I think we are more connected.
The real challenge is that I have carried this inability to connect into my relationship with God. I am quite certain that God isn’t as into me as I was into Him and that I am not one of His chosen children. There is the Sunday School answer “of course, He loves you, He died for you”. I have never been able to feel like it’s more than a one-sided conversation with Him. Even though I have over the years spent time working on listening for Him, time spent in the Bible, time in studies, hours in church. It all seems to be empty service with no real connection. The Sunday School answer isn’t cutting it anymore. I am now just going through the motions and if I was asked point blank I think I would say I have no relationship with Him, not for a lack of trying on my part. I think the rejection that I have felt over the years has left me depleted from continuing to hold onto those who have no desire to hold onto me.
Anita, the Lord has led me to reply to you today, to speak life into you today. I have experienced much betrayal by family, including parents and husband, and those I considered friends, for much of my 62 years of life. Even though I have been a believer since I was 35, it was only in the last 3 years that I found a non-denominational church where the gospel is preached, where I am surrounded by other true believers and that my love for His Word has been rekindled. The Lord led me to leave behind the family and friends of my past, who were all church-goers but not true believers, to follow Him and join my sisters and brothers in Christ. It has only been during these last few years that I have come to know the Lord deeply. So I encourage you to seek a new church that preaches the deep truth of God, and especially to continue your time in the Word of God, asking the Holy Spirit to fill your heart and mind and soul as you read it. And I think that we all desire a deep relationship with others, but they will always fall short to some degree, since we are all human. The truest, deepest relationship that we can experience is with God. And although we do fall short, He fearfully and wonderfully made us to be in relationship with Him and other believers. Also, may you spend time abiding in the Lord, not so much working on your relationship with Him, if that makes sense, offering Him prayers of praise and thanksgiving for what He has done in your life Please do not give up hope on your relationship with God, because He does desire it. “For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:8. And it troubles me to hear that you feel like you are not one of His chosen children. “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9. So if you believe in Him as your Lord and Savior, you are His forever.
Anita, I wish I had found someone like Sharon to share these things for me 20+ years ago. Like you, (and most of us) I have had hurts in my life that I didn’t understand. My father abandoned us when I was a baby and I didn’t meet him until I was 24 years old. He never took care of us financially and as a result, I grew up poor. My mom was constantly working trying to raise three kids on her own when the pay for women was meager, at best, so she was rarely home. When she got home at night, she was so tired that there was no time for much of anything with us. We basically raised ourselves. She really tried, but all the while there was this thing, this abandonment, that made me feel worthless. It carried into adulthood though I didn’t really realize it until pretty recently. I was raised Catholic so I always knew about God but never really considered a relationship was possible. He was my Father, whom I never knew. That’s what fathers were to me. But somewhere along the line, I think it was on the Walk to Emmaus, I was introduced to Jesus as my brother and my friend. Huh? I had never thought of Him that way. I started imagining Him sitting next to me when I talked nodding His head and really listening to me. I started noticing things that I knew could have only come from Him which made me realize that He WAS listening and He did love me like no other. As I sit here today, though I have been married for almost 35 years and have three grown sons, there is no one who knows me completely like He does. He is the One who makes me want to do better, to love others more, to be kinder, and to pray for those who are unloving and unkind to me. I know that when a person is hurt, they hurt others. I guess it’s our human justice system. The problem is that nothing is ever healed. It just perpetuates hurt. Only calling on Jesus can make that hurt go away. I don’t search for validation from others nearly as much anymore. I find my worth in God and know that someday, all of my efforts will be rewarded in Heaven, even if no one noticed or cared here on earth. The fact that you are seeking God in this devotional tells me that you ARE His chosen child. You just need to believe it. I will pray that you let God love you. No one else will ever measure up to the love He has for you. Once you let Him in, you will feel the freedom to let others love you and you will love others more freely as well. May God richly bless you, Anita!
This past weekend my daughter was hurt by some teammates. My mama heart hurt for her. She has been able to move on but I need to let it go. I know I am thinking too much about what the other parents are thinking. I was very upset at the meet and yelled at one of the moms. I made a fool of myself in the process. I just want to put it behind me and move on. I needed this devotion today!!!
Please pray for my situation. My stepson and his wife have completely cut communications with my, their brother and sister and extended family and friends. It’s been a year since we communicated. I lost my husband, his father , 2 years ago, and then sadly, he lost his mother 9
Months later. I understand he may be grieving but it hurts all of us that he doesn’t communicate with any of us. I’ve reached out numerous times and never receive a response. I don’t know if he’s dead or alive. His brother and sister have given up
On him but I can’t. I’m worried if they’re ok and also hurt to
Just suddenly be without any communication. We all
Live in different states and don’t get to see each other much so the occasional
Phone call
Or text were treasured but now there is nothing. Please pray they are ok and that communication between all family members would be established. Gods will
Be done. Thank you.
Thank you for this. I have been needing exactly this for longer than I realized. God bless you!
Thank you Sharon for this timely message. We all have been hurt or betrayed by the closest of our loved ones and friends. I also rely on the scripture of Philippians 3:13. I read everyday and give my hurts to Jesus! For He never leaves us or forsakes us! God Bless you all my sisters in Christ, I am lifting you up in prayer! 🙏❤
A much needed reminder in my face and no holds barred with this one. While I value other’s opinions highly, more highly than I should it’s the low self-worth value I allow to control. Something I’m working on with therapy and just beginning to reach out and realize it keeps me away from fully experiencing His unfaltering love for me. When others hurt or walk away whether intentional or not I accept it as my fault and I don’t deserve them in my life anyway. 🙁
O my! What a great fellowship of sisters I have who truly know the deep pain of betrayal, truly understand. I am so not alone! How I wish I could reach out to all of you in person but that’s not possible. Let’s commit to pray for each other.
Ive felt that void of feeling tossed away, Discarded, Of little regard, Erased as if I had never been, Worthless, many times. OMG! This was so on point with me. Soul-sickness, is a true name for it and I know I have more Soul-Sickness yet I’m glad that Yehovah Rophe is a healer of emotions too. He’s changing my perspective daily of whom I see Him to be to who He really says He is in the Bible.
I need to let go trying to fix and save everyone I love and care for and let God be God.
There is a dot in my life and my family. A crisis is occurring and I need your prayers that God will save us through his mercy and unfailing love, so our family would be healed and whole again.
This was very much needed. Had two friends that sorta of “kicked me under the bus.” Been bothering me for a long time. Keep praying and still have trouble with it. So maybe this will help me get passed it and no longer worry about it. Thanks
“My existence ceased to matter. The importance I believed I occupied in the heart of the other, the place of cherishing I thought was reserved for me turned out to be a myth.” Wow. How do we guard our hearts, and love yet again, trust, after such pain? I guess we need to keep our eyes on Jesus. He will never leave us or forsake us. How do we become more like that?
Thank you Sharon. I have been missing my bestie from high school. This whole pandemic thing through us for a loop. We were at opposite sides but managed to wade through it and keep our friendship. Or so I thought. I don’t do FB anymore (too much drama IMO) and I’ve reached out to her and received the ‘niceties’. I keep stewing about it and wonder how I could lose a 51 year friendship. We were in each other’s weddings; she is my youngest son’s godmother… my heart is broken and I’m focusing on that ‘dot’.
Your message today was God whispering in my ear and heart that it’s okay. Move on. Bless her and her family and let it go. Her ‘dot’ is fine and there is so many more that love you. I was in tears by the time I finished your message. Love and blessings to you… 🙂
What about when that dot is your son or your husband?
I really needed this one today. I’m letting go of the hurt that I feel from someone. Thank You, Jesus for taking it from me.
The post I didn’t know I needed. What a God, who truly cares about the little things. Abba, May you be my hearts object of affection always. You are the one who keeps me from pain. With you, all I’ll know is wanting, besotted love & belonging. No one else could give that to me. Thank you Lord. ❤️
Oh this was good for me today. I was feeling insignificant and dismissed by people I thought were friends, sisters I thought I was close to. I have been feeling hurt and unwanted even when I put that smile on my face and I try to work past that feeling.
I know God has a purpose for me and I will surrender this to Him. I know His love is greater than all this.
This truly hit my heart today, I am going to heal from the hurt I feel, by God’s grace.
Great illustration – focusing on the space around the dot – filled with all sorts of people who do care! Thanks, Sharon!
Would everyone stop when you read this and pray for Shaye – she’ll be 25 Thursday; being placed on hospice tomorrow because there is nothing left to be done for the osteosarcoma that has invaded her lungs. We’ve prayed for her in this ordeal for several years. God knows we don’t understand why He hasn’t healed her here on earth – but there’s still time.
I needed to read this today. God is so good. Thank you. I really relate to this, and today has been difficult experiencing things God knows about at my job with people I work with, and family members. I’ve felt this many times in life and it’s been tough to have courage to connect with people again and open up. I really like the circle/dot exercise. To remember God’s love despite the pain. Wow, I felt God speak to me to shift my focus. :). I saved this drawing and I will keep it. Thank you
This is a great reminder. Not so much as friends but ex-relatives and my own daughter. I’m fixed on God and caught in the middle of leaving the issues and taking up the cross. The gossip, the narcissism and pain are too much for me to bear which daily I praise Jesus that I don’t live “in it” but yet I do get the reminders…
This. I am feeling today. Family. I am exhausted of always being the one everyone can depend during their most difficult days, in there. And then! When all their woes and troubles have subsided, when life is going so well- I’m discarded – forgotten. Put on the sidelines while they celebrate with other family members that couldn’t lift a finger to help them, friends that were too busy to sit with them. Now they all rejoice together excluding me.
The hurt is so deep the tears won’t stop. And the silent is deafening.
My husband of 45 years abandoned me. I don’t understand how he could just turn his back on me …like I was nothing.
It’s been a little over one year now and the grief still overwhelms me daily…..used to be every single minute….so there IS improvement!
I try to remember the one statement God gave me in the very beginning of this journey whenever I am overcome with despair and weeping….
“Above ALL else… I trust YOU God!”
This one statement has helped me more than anything else.
My husband of 45 years abandoned me. I don’t understand how he could just turn his back on me …like I was nothing.
It’s been a little over one year now and the grief still overwhelms me daily…..used to be every single minute….so there IS improvement!
I try to remember the one statement God gave me in the very beginning of this journey whenever I am overcome with despair and weeping….
“Above ALL else… I trust YOU God!”
This one statement has helped me more than anything else.
Thanks for this devotion. It is really very timely. My good friend of more a decade stopped contacting me since 3years ago. She did not even invite me to her wedding, found excuses not to even pick up my call or meet me. It happened right after I got married back then and she did not even want to give me a closure on the reason. I’ve dreamt of her so much (confronting her in my dream and scolding her… wanting an answer from her). I reached out to her so many times but she doesn’t seems to care about me anymore and moved on without me. We shared so many precious memories together and not sure what caused the drift.
Today, I choose to lay this friendship onto God’s hands and focus on people who loves me instead of her, the dot. Help me Lord.
MARCH 20 2024 1:39 pm
Juselda
I’m Letting go of everything to God’s Hand he can carry the load
This article, the dot exercise, and everyone’s comments were so very helpful & relatable. I’m in awe, of how God’s people all over the world come together helping one another. As my late best friend use to remind me that the bible says, ” As, iron sharpens iron” Proverbs 27:17. Diana your comment was so very helpful to me. Simple but very POWERFUL! I decided to write them exact words on a piece of paper & list the names of the people who has hurt me & now knowing God is taking the hurt from me. Underneath on that same paper I did the dot exercise. I will keep this paper as a reminder of the power of forgiveness & of letting go & letting God! Be Blessed everyone & just remember these Simple but Powerful words, God’s got us! 🙏🏾
This topic is right on point for me. I have a daughter who in reality wants nothing to do with me. I’m 77 years old this June. We have been estranged for the last 25-30 years. I was a single mom and did not know how to be a mom as my mother never knew how to be one to me. My daughter has been embedded in her husband’s family from high school; she will be 50 in the fall. I wasn’t consulted about her wedding; the mother-in-law was involved in everything. The mother-in-law is their family matriarch and is highly protected and honored. Shes very very well provided for. My daughter has three daughters and they’re all close to the other grandmother and always was. If and when I die, it won’t matter to anyone. I have a wonderful church family, and I’m grateful for that. Life has been hard and painful many times. I’m so thankful Jesus loves me.
Today I am focusing on my friends and family in my life now. Those who love me, care about me and continue to be there for me. They are precious and dear. I have many dots throughout the years. But God’s love and grace placed all of the people I just mentioned into my life. I hope I am there for them as well and that they know how much I love and cherish them.
I understand this all too well.
There is nothing that slices your heart more than not being good enough.
Whether it’s a spouse who has moved on or a friend who has found another who fills that (“currently where they are”) space at whatever stage they are are in their
Iives.
The feeling of “ceasing to exist”, not being good enough, or feeling like you are at the “past freshness due date” has taken over my fragile heart. It made me an introvert and taken my self confidence to record low.
I’ve been a precious us child of God since birth, it seems. I can’t remember a day without Him as my Heavenly Father. However, it is extremely difficult to feel I am His dearly beloved when my husband chose another and when a couple of my children, whom I poured heart and soul into raising as God fearing adults, rarely show love as an action and include me in their lives because of significant others.
The struggle is real.
Sharon, I needed this so much today. I have been in a deep depression because of the hopeless situation I live in, because of the guilt and shame I put on myself because of what I did long ago to my kids, and have even lost the love and care of a best girlfriend since we were 12. I need to stop focusing on all i did wrong and all of the ones who dont love me and let Jesus be enough. Thank you!
How do you not focus on that DOT when it’s your child.?
When your child is the one who is distant and walking away from you and your family?
Wow this is so on point. I have been so heart broken over two dusters in Christ one that betrayed me the other one I know that our friendship has not been the same. I need to let go and healing for me. This is so heartbreaking.
My heart is really broken over two friendships sisters in Christ one that has betrayed me the other one the friendship is not the same. I need to let them go and I need healing.