“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free,” (John 8:32 NIV).
For fifteen years, Leeanne was emotionally and verbally abused by her mother. Every day she heard that she was a stupid worthless failure. Her mother told her that she was “ugly” and “fat” and “not good enough.” “No man will ever want you,” she scorned.
Leeanne grew up afraid of women and hating herself. “Why can’t I be different?” she wondered. She believed her mother’s estimation of her and lived in defeat. Leeanne grabbed attention any way she could, and by the time she was twenty-three, she had three abortions on her medical record. The guilt and shame of those abortions compounded her feelings of worthlessness.
But something amazing happened to Leeanne when she was twenty-four. She accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior and became a new creation. She knew that God forgave her the moment she asked – totally and completely. However, Satan continued to remind her of the terrible mistakes of her past. How could I have killed my children? What would my friends think if they knew the truth? I can never let anyone know about my past. Some things are simply unforgivable in human eyes.
Leeanne met and married a wonderful Christian man. They began their life of ministry as he pastored a church in a small community. God blessed them with three wonderful children, but still the shame of her past lingered.
“I felt so unworthy of my husband’s love,” she said. “I felt I wasn’t good enough to be his wife. I never told him about my past. It was a secret that weighed me down.”
Leeanne went to a women’s retreat and picked up one of my books, Your Scars are Beautiful to God. For the first time, she began to heal from the wounds her mother had inflicted on her little girl heart. She realized that is was Satan who continued to taunt her with those lies and make her feel as if they were true. Then she did something that really made the enemy mad. She forgave her mother. Even though her mother had since died, she forgave her as if she were standing before her that very day.
Leeanne imagined Jesus erasing away all her faults, especially the ones that her mother had so maliciously written on the chalkboard of her mind. “All gone,” she said. “I’m set free.”
But there was one more step to Leeanne’s freedom. See, as long as she kept her past a secret, she would never be totally free. “I prayed all day and night for the courage to tell my husband about the three abortions, and I finally did. No one in the world knew about the abortions but me. I had to tell my husband the secret so Satan could not use it against me any longer.”
“Finally, I did it. I told him the truth. But he did not react the way I imagined he would. He held me in his arms and cried. ‘I can’t believe you have held on to this for so long alone,’ he said.”
Leeanne went on to say…
“I am no longer shameful. I am pure.”
“I am no longer ugly. I am beautiful.”
“I am no longer unlovable. I am dearly loved.”
Leeanne recognized the lies. Leeanne rejected the lies. Leeanne replaced the lies with truth. She is now walking in the truth as a holy, chosen, dearly loved, child of God.
Dear LORD, thank You for setting me free from condemnation. Thank you for Your grace – receiving the gift I don’t deserve, and for mercy – not receiving the punishment I do deserve. Thank You for making me a new creation in Christ – pure, holy, cleansed. In Jesus’ Name, amen.
What do Your Think?
Is there some secret in your life that the enemy is holding over you?
Do you want to be free?
Often, an important step to freedom, after receiving God’s forgiveness, is telling someone and using what you have been through to help others. Then the enemy can’t use it against you any longer. If you don’t have a trusted friend with whom to share, I would like to be that friend. You can simply e-mail me and tell me how God has forgiven you. You can write me directly at Sharon@localhost/sjold. If you would like to tell your story publically (and I encourage you to do so) click over to my blog page, look for this blog entry, and share your story with your sisters.
Do you want to experience the freedom that Leeanne experienced in her life? It begins with recognizing the lies and replacing them with the truth. It’s time to renew your mind and think God’s thoughts rather than being held in bondage by the enemy’s deceptions. If you would like help on that journey, check out my book, I’m Not Good Enough…and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves. Also, if you have wounds in your life that have yet to heal, Your Scars are Beautiful to God will walk you through the steps to freedom, and then show you how to begin sharing your story…turning your pain into purpose.