God Can Resurrect Your Marriage from the Ashes Part 1

 Today’s Truth
“Then he [God] said to me [Ezekiel], “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD!’ This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD,'” (Ezekiel 37:4-6 NIV).

 Friend to Friend
It was January 7, 2005 when a group of friends gathered at Don and Jona’s house to watch the Dr. Phil show. Jona had written in to a contest that Good Housekeeping, in conjunction with Dr. Phil, had on “life change.” Of fifteen thousand applicants, Jona was the grand prize winner! As the winner, Don and Jona were guests on the Dr. Phil Show to tell their story. But I didn’t need Dr. Phil to tell me the story, I lived it with them. Let Jona and I share how we remember it …

 Don was twenty-seven-years old when Jona first met him on a spring church beach retreat. Immediately, she knew he was exactly what she had always dreamed of in a husband. Don had a strong faith in God, a good job, a college degree, drive, and dreams for the future. He was physically fit, witty, adventurous, sexy, and “just plain gorgeous.” On top of that, he was constantly surrounded by women at the retreat that were vying for his attention.

 When they returned home, Jona could hardly believe her good fortune when Don asked her to dinner. Don and Jona dated only three months before he asked her to marry him, and on March 30, 1985, before the next spring beach retreat, they were husband and wife.

 Their first year of marriage was a blissful blur of candlelight dinners, spontaneous lovemaking, and endless conversation. The icing on the one-year anniversary cake was the purchase of their first home. By their second anniversary, Don quit his job to start his own business. Life was clicking along at a steady pace toward acquiring the American Dream. By their fourth anniversary, Jona had their first child and joined the ranks of “stay-at-home-mom.” But, after twenty-four months of Don’s new business venture, the couple faced a second mortgage, a dwindling bank account, and a looming cloud of debt. Jona was forced to go back to work and seeds of discontentment, disrespect, and disenchantment began to take root.

 “I was so mad at Don for the mistakes I felt he had made,” Jona explained. “Deep down, I wanted him to be God and to fulfill all my needs. He made a poor God. When my mother died in 1993, I sank into a clinical depression. I spent most of my time at home in bed. And even though I had two children by this time, I withdrew from being a mom, as well as being a wife. I then began to eat…and eat. I went from 140 pounds to 240 pounds.”

 “Don and I had the perfect engagement, a beautiful wedding, and a fantasy honeymoon. But when the obstacles came along, I wasn’t prepared to maneuver over, around, or through them. I thought, this is not the way the story goes. What happened to the fairy tale?”

 “Don changed jobs about every other year, however, he always provided for our needs. It just drove me crazy that he couldn’t stay put.”

“I remember one day Don said, ‘Why are you eating and gaining all this weight?’ I shot back, ‘I’m doing this because I don’t want you to touch me. Besides, I can lose the weight if I want to, but you’ll always be a loser.’ Little by little, word by word, angry look by angry look, rejection by rejection; I began the process of destroying my husband. Comments like ‘You’re so stupid,’ ‘duh,’ and ‘can’t you do anything right?’ were constantly spewing from my mouth. I was in pain and I wanted Don to be in pain too. One day, I made a list of all of Don’s faults. He found the list, but I didn’t even care.”

 Jona always thought that since Don was a Christian, he would never leave her. However, there came a point where he could not take the emotional turmoil any longer. On May 6, 2001, Don left. Jona had destroyed her marriage and her man. On January 31, 2003, the divorce was final.

 “A couple of months after our divorce, I woke up to God’s still small voice,” Jona explained. “He seemed to say, ‘Is this what you wanted? Did you want a divorce? Do you want Don to marry another woman and have your children torn between spending time in two different households? Do you want to be alone? Were you the wife I called you to be?’ Oh God,” Jona cried, “What have I done?”

 Now friends, the next part of the story is what Dr. Phil did not tell you. God began working on Jona’s heart. She didn’t change because of a self-help book or a ten step program, but because of the miraculous work of the Holy Spirit. Do you want to know what really happened? Do you want to know what Dr. Phil did not tell his viewers? Grab a cup of coffee and join me tomorrow for the rest of the story.

 Let’s Pray
Dear LORD, help me be the woman my husband needs for me to be. Help me to stop concentrating on his faults and failures, but start looking at my own. Show me. Teach me. Empower me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 Now It’s Your Turn
I know Today’s Truth seems like a strange verse. It is! It is one of the strangest stories in the bible. Go back and read Ezekiel chapter 37. If God can do that with a bunch of dry bones, just think what He can do with your marriage! Your broken life! Your broken dreams!

 Do you see yourself in Jona?

 Is God telling you there is something you need to do differently in your marriage? In your relationships?

 Let’s chat. Scroll down  to the comments section, and tell me how one little change has made a difference in one of your relationships.

 Want to Learn More?
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9 Responses to God Can Resurrect Your Marriage from the Ashes Part 1

  1. Tina February 9, 2012 at 1:52 am #

    I have been receiving your letter for quite some time, but haven’t read it in a while because I have just not been wanting to read about God or Jesus or a woman having to be the one to save a marriage that is in ashes. My marriage has always had problems since day one, and it has not been wonderful for some time, even though we go along trying to pretend like things are fine until one of us breaks down and says terrible things to each other. I get told that it is my fault a lot, and that I am the one who is making everyone in my family miserable. I don’t want to have to work on it anymore. I don’t want to have to deal with manipulation and feeling like I’m not good enough because I don’t put out enough for my husband to put up with my drama. I have become bitter, resentful, and angry and don’t know if I can get out of that hole. I was separated from my husband for 2 years because of a bitter physical fight that we got into. I went back to him after those two years because he pulled out all the stops and started saying that God wanted us to be back together again. He stopped being “religious” and a “godly” man after we got remarried, and we have been back together for 8 years. I love my children, and I don’t want them to be miserable anymore either, but I cannot seem to leave… either God hasn’t given me the opportunity to, or I just haven’t got the guts, but all this talk about the woman becoming the woman of her man’s dreams makes me ill. I am struggling in my marriage, and I don’t want to be the woman of my man’s dreams. I just want to get away from him.

  2. BARBARA February 9, 2012 at 11:35 am #

    I am so humble by this devotional. This is my story. I am at the pivotal junction of realizing that I have to give it over to the Lord.

  3. Margie M February 10, 2012 at 10:45 am #

    Im slowly but surely learning not to get too upset with my hubby when he does something wrong. Sometimes i say hurtful things………..then we dont talk for days……….i dont even want him to come near me or even touch me. Thank you for the encouraging word today. I have heard it now for the second time round. I believe GOD is teaching me and reminding me of what kind of a wife he crearted me to be………forgiving , loving and caring.

    God Bless you,
    East Africa

  4. Martha February 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm #

    I love this and cannot wait to read part II. When will that be available to read.

  5. Margaret February 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm #

    I am going through a huge challenge with my boyfriend of 6 years as we speak. From the beginning, I have believed that I will marry this man someday. God told me so. A few weeks ago, God whispered to me, “A quiet and gentle heart” (1 Peter 3:4) within an hour of my boyfriend calling to tell me someone had hacked his facebook account and changed it to an “in a relationship” with another woman status. As things have unfolded, I discovered that this wasn’t caused by a hacker but he still denies that he’s actually having a relationship with his old high school girlfriend. My first reaction was to scream and yell and make him feel as bad as I did, but it only lasted a day and a half as I have reached out to God for that quiet and gentle spirit. I still believe that I will marry this man someday, but we have some difficult times ahead of us to get there with God.

  6. Emma February 13, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    Message numero 2 on marriage for me today! Really encouraging thank you so much Lord for working through this ministry! I’ve been steadily withdrawing from my husband since we married and had our daughter but I came to Christ in 2010 and since then He has been nudging me to look at our marriage and my role within it. I have been given several opportunities to accept my husband as head of our home and do that gladly knowing that is what God would expect of me and I know He trusts my husband to do right by me. I started a diet after Christmas and have lost nearly 12lbs already very easily which has brought my confidence up and I know that the Lord is encouraging me to keep going with giving our marriage to Him. My husband has not come to faith yet – I have given that over to God and I can only pray that God will work in our marriage as the Gospel tells us, the husbands [of believers] will be sanctified on account of their wives faith. We were intimate for the first time since I can remember recently and I pray that our marriage can continue to be resurrected from the ashes it has been. I encourage all women reading this to forget about not feeling it anymore, feelings are a fickle master, and turn to God’s word and trust that He wants healthy happy marriages to shine His truth and love into this dark world. Be blessed Sisters. In His Holy and Mighty Name.

  7. Freda February 13, 2012 at 8:48 pm #

    Sharon, This message is very powerful! I stand as a testimony that God will give 2nd chance to marriage. In September 2011, my husband left me. Words can not express my feelings. All I could do was cry out. God gave me revelation and spoke to my spirit directing me to look to him for answers. As hard as it was, despite the situation, no matter what my husband said, no matter what my friends and family said, I looked to God. I had to learn to “Be Still” and wait on God. I began to fast and pray. When I was blessed with the opportunity to see him, I placed my hands on him and prayed for us, without him knowing. Then, the spirit lead me to pray for our marriage together. I was afraid, he had never heard my pray we as a married couple had never prayed together before. It was very hard going through but by grace, I made it through. I learned not to take my husband for granted. I learned the hard way ” A wise woman builds her house but only a fool tears it down” I heard that a thousand times as I read through Proverbs, now it has meaning. We still have water to tread but I know where my strenght comes from. I will fast and pray to the end. It time, all things work together for the good. With God all things are possible!

    • Sharon February 14, 2012 at 4:14 pm #

      Hi Freda: So glad you were moved.

  8. light March 20, 2013 at 7:06 pm #

    In February 2010 the Holy Spirit spoke to me saying that my husband was having an affair. This was not confirmed until August 2010 and then he did not totally break it off until January 2011. These words hit me hard, and I see that I am still having troubles of forgiveness and trusting. In February 2011 I believe God healed my husband, but I am still living in suspicion and its 2013. God has done a mighty work in my husband, but I need a mighty work in myself. Pray for a break through in my life. Thank you!!

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