“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns,” (Philippians 1:6 New Living Translation).
He ironed.
I watched.
I stood in the door frame of my guest room, watching my nephew Jonathan iron the wrinkles out of his crumpled shirt, the rumpled creases out of his crumpled heart. He ironed and talked. I watched and listened.
Jonathan, my twenty-seven-year-old nephew, stopped by for a visit on his way to a wedding in my hometown. I’ll take every opportunity to spend time with my two nephews, Stu and Jonathan, and their sister Grace Anne. I’ve always been convinced that the stork dropped them off at the wrong address, missing my doorstep by 200 miles or so. I’m just crazy about them.
But life hasn’t been so easy for this precious nephew, or his siblings. While they have an adoring godly mother, it has been the absence of a father that has left a lingering ache – an oozing wound. Each one has reacted differently to the abandonment, but it has been Jonathan, the youngest, who seems to have struggled the most.
I’ve always known that God had a special plan for Jonathan. The shaping and molding by God has been fierce, intentional, deliberate. But today he ironed.
“Aunt Sharon, can I borrow your iron to press my shirt for the wedding?”
“Sure, Bud,” I replied as I pointed him to the board.
I plugged the iron in the outlet, leaned against the doorframe, and watched.
As Jonathan moved the iron back and forth across the wrinkled fabric, he ironed out much more than a shirt. He ironed out the wrinkles in his heart, pressed out the pain of life without a dad, smoothed out the hurt of abandonment, and steamed out the stubborn creases of years of questions. Why did his dad leave? Why wasn’t he worth sticking around for? Why wasn’t he worth the effort? Why was he more affected and infected by the virus of abandonment than his siblings?
He ironed.
He pressed.
He talked.
I watched.
I listened.
I prayed.
I loved.
“God has done so much for me and in me,” he explained. “It has taken a long time, but He has healed me. He has mended my heart. I’m ready to move on now. More than my dad coming home to me, I pray that he will come home to Jesus. That’s what I want more than anything.”
Twenty minutes later, Jonathan finished ironing. One shirt. One heart.
You know, I could have said, “Hey, let me just iron that for you.” I could have finished the job in two minutes or less. But this was not about ironing a shirt. This was about pressing out the rumpled creases in a young man’s heart. I couldn’t do that. Only he and God could. Jonathan needed to hold the iron of God’s love and move it back-and-forth, back-and-forth, until the rumpled mess was smoothed. My job was to watch. To listen. To pray. To love.
How about you? Is there someone in your life that has a wrinkled wounded heart? Have you yanked the healing tool of God’s love out of His hand and tried to iron out his or her problems yourself? Did you ever consider that you might be standing in the way of what God is trying to do? Those are hard questions. Perhaps you have thought that you could solve a problem or heal a heart quicker than waiting on God. Perhaps you’ve stepped in where you were never meant to step. (Speaking of stepping…I think I’m stepping on some toes. Mine are starting to hurt too.)
It’s hard not to step in! Our momma’s heart wants to help. We don’t like to see our kids, or anyone, hurting. But just as the caterpillar has to struggle to emerge from the cocoon, a soul has to struggle in the dark places of life in order to soar. And we shouldn’t mess with that.
It was such a joy to hear how Jonathan had pressed through the pain and let
God iron out his questions – how God had smoothed out the bumps in the rocky road of adolescence after abandonment. He wears his mended heart well. That doesn’t mean it won’t need a touch up pressing when daily life
ruffles-up the fabric of his heart from time to time. But I have every confidence that he and God will iron out the wrinkles together.
And the shirt? It looked pretty good.
Let’s Pray
Dear Lord, forgive me for trying to fix other people’s problems when they are not mine to fix. Today, I’m committing to watch, to listen, to pray, and to love. Help me not to get in the way of what You are doing in someone else’s life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
What do You Think?
How are your toes?
Has God convicted you that you might need to step aside and let Him do what only He can do?
Are you ready to watch, to listen, to pray and to love? If so, click leave a comment and say, “I’m going to get out of God’s way.”
Isn’t it wonderful that we don’t have to pray alone? If you’d like for me and your other GiGs to pray for someone in your life, leave the person’s name on my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes. Let’s pray for the woman’s name before us and after us.
Want More?
If you are a mom, your kids are probably at the top of your prayer list. I know my son is always at the top of mine. Motherhood – if it were easy, it wouldn’t start with something called labor. If you would like some encouragement in the most important job you will ever have, check out my book, Being a Great Mom-Raising Great Kids. Also, I have an inexpensive laminated card of Scripture to pray over your children that will fit snuggly in your Bible.
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Thank you! This is just what I needed today. God bless you and your ministry.
Yes. I have always felt responsible i have had 2 children 2marriages 2 divorces my children r older but it lingers looks like both need there fathers and are pushing me aside but i have enough faith in god that he is working all things for good has been long journey but with god all things r possible! Thanks met u in georgia years ago thanks for all u do!
I’m going to get out of God’s way!
Me too! Thank you, Sharon. And thank YOU, Jesus. Thank You for not giving up on me when I trip over my own tongue.
I love reading your books and todays devoutional has inspired me. I have learnt i cant fix everyones problem,i should step aside and let God do his work. Please keep on the goodwork,more grace in his vineyard.love you.
This message is speaking to me. To make a long story short, 12 years ago my husband confessed to being involved in pornography for over 3 years. I did not take this well at all. I was a faithful loving wife, mother to 4 children whom I schooled at home, and this betrayal was more than I could handle. I had a major breakdown and was hospitalized for two weeks. It took me over 5 years to recover from this tsunami that hit my life. Over time, I pulled myself together, went back to work, got my masters and have a great career and a ‘minimal marriage’. I feel like you message above is speaking to me and how I should begin to let go of my ‘emotional control’ over my husband, stop worring about protecting myself and begin to love him and embrace the reality that, yes he did (and maybe still does) struggle with lust of the mind, but that doesn’t mean I cannotm, with prayer, be a supportive person in his life. I will never be his ‘counselor’ nor should I be, but to be patient, loving, and kind are clearly what God expect from me. After all, God has been good to me and has not left me back in my dark hours. I have surrounded myself with good people and good work. I need to let go and let my husband iron with me beside him watching and praying. I know Satan is just on the edge of his seat ready to change my mind (it it is easy for me to see my spouse’s faults) , but if I really want to demonstrate the love of Christ – I have to start with my current roommate – my spouse.
He must iron and I think I am currently at the place where I can watch and listen. I may not like what I hear, but I am not to judge – just listen. God has blessed me with your message – may our prayer be that I can follow this gentle nudge from the Lord to be gracious to my spouse – rise above my feelings of pain and anger, and be a godly woman and recogonize the enemy who wants to stop this process. I can even now sense the joy and blessing that will come from this new attitued if I do indeed follow this message. Prayer welcome.
Thank you for this, and yes I will get out of God’s way. As my 2 sons deal with their father leaving us. I know God is healing and helping them, and I so wanted to take away all the pain and shield them from what has happen.But I now know through your words God is speaking and saying I got this and I don’t need help. pray I will stand aside and let God heal their wounds as only he can.
Please pray with me for my husbands cousin who never really had a relationship with her biological dad growing up but now lives with him and has a difficult time relating with him. According to her, he had never really been there for her growing up and now that she is living with him, she feels like he gives her more mental anguish than love. Please pray with me for God to feel her with his love so she can forgive her dad and love him. Thank you and God bless.
Thank you for this devotional. In a span of a week, my 22-year-old stepdaughter (who lives in another state) found out she was pregnant, lost her job, and the baby’s father not only found out he had cancer in his young body, but he also broke up with her, unable to handle the stress. My husband and I were beside ourselves with worry, and wanted to fly out of here and rescue her, 1600 miles away…but we just couldn’t. Well guess what…she worked it out. She has a long road ahead of her, and we will be there for her the best we can, but the baby’s father also calmed down and decided to step up to his responsibilities and they are going to journey ahead together through these tough times.
Sometimes you have to let the baby bird fall before it will learn how to fly.
I need to STOP intervening.
My long-term boyfriend has been struggling with the next steps of life. We finished college about 2 years ago, and he got a great internship. He hasn’t been able to find anything permanent, however. No full-time, reliable positions. He is struggling with this because he is starting to feel inadequate. He has always excelled in school, work and home. Now that he doesn’t have the “concrete” evidence that he is good at something (like his Cum Laude honors), he is falling apart. I keep trying to hold him together and tell him that things will fall into place. We’ve prayed about it. We’ve job searched together. I keep trying to do things to make him feel special, but he gets more frustrated.
I am now letting go. I will continue to pray from him, but can no longer hold his hand & try to shield him from life.
God, Your thoughts are higher than mine. Your words are deeper than mine. I will let you do your will.
I will save this devotional and come back often…my 1 child is struggling with a relationship and my instincts want to protect…needed to be reminded that God can and will heal her and be her rescuer!
i am moving out of Gods way so He can take care of Jonathan, my son. love connie
I too must let go all the way and let God work, I am getting out of His way . Still praying,listening, loving and praying for my son…. Speak but not judge.Love and listen. Pray not preach. Pray for him and a mom that feel like I’ve lost him to the world.
Thank you so very much for posting these devotionals. Because of these devotionals I eagerly look forward daily to opening the Word and seeking God first.
Having attended the GiG recently in Ottawa, just wanted to let you know it rocked my world!! I was wrong about so many things in my walk with God and through your teaching and testimony, it is so evident to me that in order to live for God alone I have to not be afraid to reveal all my dirt, to crumble and fall apart before Him and that He will still love me and will work in my life to make all that into something and someone beautiful for His glory. Thank you for sharing your love of Christ through this amazing GiG Ministry! Hoping you’ll come back to Ottawa soon! Blessings today and always…
Brenda
This is exactly what I’m dealing with now. I am very intelligent and resourceful. So I had my own mission to tackle everyone’s issues. From doing my best with, “What should I do?” phone calls to actually jumping out of the car to aide someone who looked like they needed help. Yet those closest to me are the ones who were effected most. I now understand how I severely stunted the growth of my future husband. As he never had to problem solve, it left him unable to effectively solve issues and when faced with hard situations he is so ready to give up or sink into depression if I don’t intervene. I’m learning now to TRUST GOD and not be an enabler. I wanted to protect him from the hurt or pain but I now realize that we all have our process that God must take us through. My mother is actually not really speaking to me now. She is so use to me solving her problems, that when I said “No” she stopped speaking with me. My mother has gotten so use to me fixing things that it has not become something she is grateful for yet something she expects from me and acts like it’s my duty. So when I recently said, “No”, she cut me off. It definitely hurt because I know that my value to her life is more than my ability to solve her issues but I do know that I will step back and let God do his job. Maybe this is what she needs, to be at a dark place where the only one she can reach out to is Jesus. While it pains me to see my mom and future hubby going through so much, I was overwhelmed with constantly solving their issues and commonly placed my issues on the backburner. So now I’m getting things in my life in order and trusting God for what he will do in theirs.
Thank u for all u do i def want to get out of gods way its hard because i feel pushed aside after i raised daughter and son by myself but god is bigger than my feeling and has my best interests too
me and a good friend of mine have been through a lot together in the past year. we were in a huge mess spiritually when we became friends. while recently I have been getting victory over a lot, plus about to marry a very godly man, my friend is obviously still struggling. because me and her are so close it is so hard to step back and let God do what only He can. this message confirmed what I thought God was showing me.
I am going to get out of the way and letting God do what he does best…. with my husband and our daughter. I have let go and let God. I have surrendered my life!
Thank you for this devotional. It really hit home for me. After reading through the other comments I don’t feel so alone in what I’m going through. 6 years ago my husband left me and my children to start a new life with someone else. We were devastated. But God was there for us through every detail in life, taking care of us. I don’t understand why this happened. All I can do is pray for my children and stand back and let God do the rest. He’s in control.
I too was at GIG in Ottawa and loved every minute. Hope to see you again!
Wow I needed this today. Thank you. Hope to see you and Gwen again at word of life
I am going to get out of God’s way and let him deal with my cousin’s family situation. I am giving it to God!
I’m going to get out of God’s way!
i am moving out of Gods way so He can take care of the broken relationship between me and my clouse friend M.
Thank you, I am going to get out of God’s way when it comes to my friend Linda and also my step daughter Liz. Could you please pray for my step daughter. She is holding a grudge against me and I have put it in God’s hand but pray that God will open her eyes to see the hurt she causes because of her unforgiveness.
I’ve struggled with this same issue. My daughter became addicted to prescription drugs. several times, I’ve ‘given her to God’ several times – and yet, would take her situation back over and over again…. This has shown me that I must TRULY turn her over to Him – and STAY OUT OF HIS WAY! My prayer is that He will work a miracle in her life, and that I won’t get in His way – that I will ONLY do what He wants me to. I, too, have been an enable, and don’t want to be that anymore. I am immensely blessed by the daily GiG devotions – THANK YOU!!! God bless you all!
Before my quiet time today I prayed for God to tell me what to do – there’s so much going on with my family, my job and my calling seemingly delayed, I don’t know for how long, and now I am trying to assess what my part is in my brother’s struggle with PTSD. This column was an answer to prayer. Get out of God’s Way, Watch, Listen, Pray, and Love.
Thanks Sharon. <3
I’m getting out of God’s way for myself and ESPECIALLY my children!
I can’t take care of our hearts like He can.